Has anyone got their child to successfully return to school after weeks of refusal?

[Restinggg]

Does anyone have any positive stories of their child returning to mainstream school consistently after a term of anxiety-based school refusal, particularly moving from Year 7 into Year 8?
My daughter has been out of school for around a term because of severe anxiety, and I’m feeling worried about whether she’ll manage to return and attend regularly again in September. I’d really appreciate hearing from parents whose children have successfully reintegrated at this stage—especially what helped, how gradual the return was, and whether there were setbacks along the way.
Positive stories would be very welcome right now.

Not the same, but DD had 0% attendance in y11 (20-21) but made it through college in 21-22.
But it was a totally different environment and a course she really really wanted to do, plus she was on meds and had had therapy.

What interventions has she had? What would be different in y8 to y7?

My son though we changed schools. Rocky first term back but he's been fine for years since. It was the school he was at that didn't work for him - not all schools, if that makes sense.

Not the same school. But yes, my child did terribly in mainstream and is now in a school for autistic children who are taught the national curriculum. From years of on off refusal and 6 months totally out of school to going in every day fine. The difference in my child is unbelievable, greatly reduced anxiety and much happier.

So unfortunately the moral to the story is that you need to see what is unsuitable about the current environment and whether this can be overcome.

Have you had any support from Camhs? What can the school offer? Do they have a wellbeing room? My child has just got through a disastrous yr8. She attended most days but mornings are awful, the days are often not good. I’ve just been really strict about attendance. I’m not implying anything about my parenting or anyone else’s because there are lots of days when I think should I just let her stay? But I had the capacity to get her in. I’ve been trying everything including some good fish oil!
we just had Camhs intervention. Dd is talking about September, and about which teachers she knows she’s having so at least there’s some engagement.
I’ve even got info on some online schools if year 9 is a disaster again. I can’t do another year like this, especially as she’ll be older and more assertive.

Yes - with a lot of help from the schools pastoral care team. It took about 18 months. It was horrific but everything is on an even keel right now.

My daughter has had a terrible year 11, 40% attendance and terrible depression/anxiety/overdoses however we managed to get help (not CAMHS) and medication and somehow she did manage to get herself to most of her exams (no revision) and is in a much better place at the moment, planning quite cheerfully her return to 6th form for a levels. So we haven’t quite done it yet, but I have gone from the depths of despair last winter to feeling pretty hopeful she will go back in full time in September.

I would totally agree with this.

I would also add for the OP that I myself was very similar to your daughter @Wild3, years 9 - 13 always <50% attendance. I got straight As and a first in my degree, I do a job now where I can work flexibly and often from home as I still find going into busy spaces (school, office, same same) really hard. But basically, I'm fine, and I am fine because my parents protected my mental health and trusted my education would catch up.

The best thing my parents did was not force me to go in, but their only rule was I couldn't sit home and just watch telly all day, I had to do school work, but I could do work of my own choosing.

If they'd forced me to go in when I didn't feel able I'd have probably had a full breakdown.

By the way I'm not trying to negate the trials you are going through now. But, big picture, kids can and do make it through school refusal as well adjusted and functioning people. Doesn't make the here and now easier. But I'm giving you permission to at least shut out the noise you'll hear about 'every day off school is setting her back...'. Presenteeism doesn't work for everyone and if she's not in the frame of mind to learn, she won't be learning.

My son spent a great deal of year 6 out. He then spend a year in online provision. This last year which is year 8. He now attends a special school only for an hour a day and not every day but he goes willingly. He is on an 18 month waiting list for CBT with CAMHs after they only agreed to see him after the 4th referral. He also was diagnosed autistic this year which seems to be the route of most the issue- mainstream completely broke him. I would suggest look at if the setting is right and question neurodiversity. It could be that conventional schooling doesn't work for your child

yes and his attendance is now 90% was 50!

I’d look up an ebsa toolkit for your local area and have a meeting with school in September to get them to implement it.

over the summer I would do some gentle graded exposure to returning to school and learning about anxiety. Doing things like wearing uniform for short lengths of time, practicing the morning routine, walking past school and gently exposing to school.

https://www.parentkind.org.uk/about-us/news-and-blogs/blog/understanding-emotionally-based-school-avoidance-ebsa-a-guide-for-parents

https://www.hpftcamhs.nhs.uk/media/4rgpobsn/6-graded-exposure_web.pdf

about:blank source:%20Young%20Minds
https://share.google/eWFDwQe01drvuIJQh young minds has great parental advise and an advice line.

Google to see if the school is covered by an MHST, these are nhs tier two well being teams and many take self referrals and will support with this.

My son had varying degrees of attendance between years 5-11. Around 20% on average. He did engage with mentors, and had great friends who stuck by him through really tough times. He’s sat maths and English GCSEs despite having not learnt any of the syllabus, and also sat functional skills as a back up. He found himself a job labouring for a local builder, the boss can’t praise him highly enough, and it’s looking like he’s secured himself an electrical apprenticeship from September. Education doesn’t only happen at school. I never pushed my son as I just knew he couldn’t cope in school, even with adaptations from his EHCP. Trust your gut and listen to your child. A kid with exams to their name but mental health in tatters is getting nowhere in life x

Does the school have any summer camps running?

I’m not sure what would be different from year 7 to year 8? You need to get to the crux of what’s making her anxious. One of mine was like it for the entire summer term one year but we figured out it was one person in the class. So was much happier in Sept as we’d arranged for them to be moved. We also started giving them more freedom & responsibility outside of school so that we built confidence in other areas. It’s not a magic fix but is there anything you can do to give your DD a confidence boost?