what should be 'top priority' in parenting??General......

[gameforalaugh]

Hi just after some wisdom from experienced parents.I have 3 children and feel I do a good ALL ROUND amount of'things' with my children in order to give them a wholesome and happy life and I am 100% devoted to them all the time and thoroughly enjoy what i do I am just a bit stuck at the minute in balancing out what is important and what is just 'fun'.We attend social groups, clubs (Swimming etc) the children don't want for anything toys and equipment wise and I spend a lot of time balancing out what I do i.e I make sure both my DH &I have equal time with each child to balance things out so as not to cause jealousy and logistically this can be quite hard work on occasions, we have quiet time, family time,I do cooking at home make play doh have friends round for tea and all of this is consistant and I like to think that they are very happy through my hard work.At the moment I struggle with 3 sometimes in running the house, time together etc.I try not to take on 'extra' things outside the family as I simply cannot give 100% otherwise but I still sometimes feel as if I am saying go and play, I am busy, I am talking to Dad, move out my way please and no etc ALL DAY LONG thus leaving me feeling as if this is all I do with them.My question really is how much of my time should I give to them and should they be accomodating when I simply just need 10 mins i.e if I want the children to play alone on occasions is this wrong or should I devote every waking second to them?? Any tips on prioritising the daily tasks without having too much guilt for not always being with the children.

Children need to be given the opportunity to learn how to entertain themselves and to be comfortable in their own company. I think it is important that children learn what it is like to be bored too. So, IMO, you are doing them a favour if you ask them to leave you be for a bit of the time each day.

To MN?

Your children need you to be ok and reasonably able to get refreshed and de-stressed, which you won't be if you try to devote every waking second to them. Obviously not talking about newborns here, but you're talking in terms of toys and groups so I'm assuming out of the baby stage.

They should start to understand that not every single thing they want is utterly urgent - you have needs and wants too, and there has to be a level of compromise. So there's nothing wrong with telling them to wait, to play by themselves, to give you space. It's like learning to take turns, just one of the many skills they will need to gain in life.

I agree they need to learn how to entertain themselves at times, as you cant entertain them forever. I spend a lot of time doing activities with my DD but theres times when I encourage her to go and get a book or jigsaw and do it by herself or even go up to her room and play for a bit, just to give me half an hour to myself for a cuppa and read the paper, not always entirely possible with a 14 weeks old too. You do need to grab 5 minutes for yourself, your kids can fend for themselves for a bit, dont feel bad about it, you sound like youre already giving them a wonderfully balanced life and theyre lucky to have you.

Message withdrawn

Making your child feel loved.

Top prioroties: That they feel safe and loved, that they are well fed, clothed and educated.

Very close behind: Fun, new experiences, creativity, freedom.

Somewhere after that: Time for me!