Sorry if you have seen this post already, I wanted to change wording as I don’t think enough was clear.
Wednesday my ds class teacher pulls me aside at pickup, saying today at school he has said something quite serious, of a sexual nature. And it’s been reported to LSA and they will tell me about it.
we get home, I reassure him he’s not in trouble and I won’t be cross, what happened today? He said I don’t want to tell you. So I reassured him again, and said you can talk to mummy if you want to. Tucking him into bed he says he wants to tell me what he said today. He said he said , “I want to eat your bum bum” and a child told a TA. (But now, I think he was repeating what he said to TA rather than child, it was directed at TA) I felt quite reassured, of course not appropriate, but it sounds like the sort of “toilet talk” he would come out with. I reminded him about appropriate language and private areas. no he shouldn’t say that, but I don’t think it’s unusual for a 6 year old to come out with. Poo, wee, fart, butt etc are amusing at that age. He also said something similar to me a few days before. “ I’m going to eat your arms mummy; I’m going to eat your head mummy , I’m going to eat your bum bum! “
Today I get a call , and I’m told he did not say that, he was pulled aside by the TA and TA asked my son “ did you say I want to lick [ta name] bum hole to (child)?” TA said my son responded with “ no i said i will lick your arse hole”. I told LSA my son told me the phrase “I want to eat your bum bum ” to a child, which we agreed is far more normal for his age and very different to what is reported. She also said my son said the same thing to her. She will clarify with the teacher(s) about what was said. I said I really don’t think those words are in his vocabulary, and really not the sort of thing he’d say, I’ve never heard it before. The comment my son supposedly made that was graphic was towards the TA that then approached/spoke to him.
I don’t know if I’ve handled it properly, I’ve tried to tread carefully but I also want to understand where this language around sexual actions is coming from. Without putting words in his mouth. After school, I ask him open ended, about what happened. He has the same response. I ask if he said anything else, or another word that may have been not appropriate. He was adamant he said bum bum. I asked if he’s ever heard the word arsehole. (bear in mind he is aware of other words that are swear words, but he doesn’t use them) . He was confused and said “what is that?” “Our hole?” Bewildered. I asked if he’s ever said it before or to that TA , he said no. His response seemed very genuine and that word was alien to him. He said “ oh I said the f word with my friend when I was in reception “. He was trying to be honest and open. He also said the TA put him in time out for saying that . So the TA who is claiming he made a highly worrying comment to/about, put him in time out?
I believe my son, but I understand kids can be honest but still misremember, or get confused. But his account has been very consistent multiple times to me and the LSA.
I’m not against an investigation. I want to get to the bottom of it and I’m not dismissing the report. I’m not anxious about it I feel LSA are helpful and have listened to me. I’m just concerned about the following:
It’s either
A) he did say it
B) there’s been a serious miscommunication somewhere.
C) TA has misrepresented what my son said