DD not eating lunch at preschool

[hiddenforest]

DD is 3 and recently started preschool. She has settled well but just isn’t eating any lunch. She is a poor eater generally and I do struggle with ‘out and about’ food so in some ways it isn’t a surprise but she’ll be doing three days a week in September and I’m concerned about her missing lunch three times a week (\I wish I could say she eats a good breakfast to make up for it but she doesn’t!)

Any food ideas good but she barely eats anything! Help!

What does she eat at home? Is it food made at Nursery that she can’t eat?
Could she take a packed lunch or snack box from home?
Have Nursery staff got any experience of this? It could be the smell of the food being cooked or proximity to others eating.
Does she tend to be brand and texture specific? It’s really hard but you need to try not to let her see your anxiety.
Any other sensory needs at home or Nursery?
Sorry for all the questions. Just trying to help
you to unpick. I have personal and professional experience.

It is a packed lunch, but she tends to eat very poorly with snack type foods. So I am struggling with what to give her.

At home she will eat

home made pizza (cheese & tomato)
home made chilli
chicken
broccoli (sometimes)
baked beans
crisps 🙄
cheese
strawberries (sometimes)
banana (sometimes)
watermelon (sometimes)

I do really struggle with mealtimes but despite the list above not looking too bad it is very very hit and miss. Today I put a cheese sandwich, banana and raisins in and she just ate a few raisins.

And I don’t have anxiety, I’m generally quite chilled about it; but it isn’t ideal her missing lunch three days a week!

My son is 16 just finished year 11. Didn’t eat lunch in nursery. Didn’t eat lunch at primary school. Didn’t eat lunch at secondary school - they called social services who didn’t care - and referred him to Camhs.

He also didn’t eat breakfast.

In the end I had to chill out about it. He agreed to eat something on the morning of his GCSEs. He’s on track to get 8s and 9s.

I’m sure you were trying to reassure me!

Does she like any breakfast or lunch type foods? My ds was the same!

I would stick to the list you gave above op, use the things that she eats and pack them in a thermos for pre-school. It’s worth a try.

Thanks. I have been doing so but she just doesn’t eat it, which is frustrating and messy!

Honestly, not really. It’s a massive challenge. She used to eat egg but now only rarely. She usually either has a bit of egg or a mouse sized portion of Rice Krispies.

For lunch if she’s home with me I’ll often do her a chilli as she does like that and I can whizz up loads of veg in it. If she’s barely touched breakfast she will sometimes have a banana or melon mid morning.

Feeding children is so 🙄 ds used to be really good but even he’s started claiming he hates everything!

Yes I was trying to reassure you.

He is healthy and doing well. He also was a fussy eater, likely ARFID very limited diet even at home. At puberty he got very hungry and decided he really wanted to beat the limited diet at home. we saw Felix Economides (look him up?) who helped him get over his phobia of fruit and veg.

He also agreed (at the point he got hungry) to take KIND bars to school to eat in the medical room by himself. So that’s where we are now.

My ds struggles with lunch. He would eat a decent breakfast but hates sandwiches. Even now at 10 I just give him what others would consider snacks. Chopped up chicken in a tub? Chilli in a flask? Bag of crisps, fruit.

What has worked for us in trying to expand his food intake is the try and introduce new things that I feel he would like alongside the stuff he does like.

For example, give a plate of chicken, broccoli and rice. Encourage trying a bit of rice along with the things she already trusts and likes. Praise hugely. It’s a long process and we’re no where near the end!

Can you double the dinner and give her the second portion for lunch the next day? Pasta, risottos, stews, even the chilli remain nice, hot and tasty in a flask the following day.

At 3 she must have some words. What does she say about it? Stomach ache? Not hungry? Too noisy? It may be something really simple putting her off like there are too many other children round her and she feels pressured.

Strips of homemade pizza (or try focaccia to branch out, with tomato and cheese in) chicken pieces, broccoli with a dip, fruit

Cold pizza? Maybe not everyday but DD had
that in her lunchbox one day this week and it worked well

Have you spoken to her about it to see what the problem is? Is it too noisy? Is she struggling to open things and not confident asking for help? But I would tell her it’s important to eat and then pack foods she is most likely to eat. So maybe something like cut up strawberries, slice of cold pizza, packet of pom bears and a baby bell.

If she's only started recently and hasn't been in childcare before, I would give her some time to adjust. But ultimately I can't see any reason to worry about skipping a meal, she'll make it up if she's hungry. Lots of adults don't eat lunch.

Cubes of cheese rather than a cheese sandwich? My two preferred wraps to sandwiches at that age.

One of my DC ate practically nothing at private nursery, 8-5, 5 days a week (we weren't allowed to send in packed lunch). We gave him as much breakfast as he would eat in the morning and the nursery offered bread and extra cups of milk if he'd turned down all the food. Then as calorific a dinner as I could think of. Somehow he stayed on his weight centile.

I'd talk to the preschool and also the Health Visitor and see if they have any suggestions of things to try.

My 2yo has severe issues with food due to obstruction. Won't eat anything at nursery would eat at home.

But he loves breakfast cereal so nursery give him weetabix for lunch every day 😅. Ideal? No. Does it get food into him? Yes. It's heavily fortified, we put fruit and nut butters in it (nuts obv only at home). I just go with it and pray some day will grow out of it.

Maybe this is not especially helpful, but my child did this when he started nursery (at age 4). He is a terrific eater in terms of the amount he eats, he’s always had a great appetite, so this was a surprise to me. But as he ate well at home I didn’t worry.

It soon passed as he settled in. So it may well just be a phase.

Oh yes and to echo what everyone else is saying, homemade pizza was actually the first thing I did for his lunch that he actually ate at nursery. So maybe that’s the answer!