14-week-old resisting naps and waking frequently at night

[Sunandsea21]

My baby is 14 weeks old and I'm really struggling with their sleep. They are exclusively breast fed and the longest stretch they do at night is 2 hrs 30mins. Normally have 3 or 4 wake ups a night, we had one stretch of 5 days where they did 5hr stretches about 4 weeks ago but that's it.

They also just resist naps during the day; I've tried all different ways of putting them down for a nap but they're either wide awake or just screaming. I'm really struggling as they're clearly overtired but I just can't get them to sleep without a 2hr battle (and then naps only last around 20/30mins). I try and catch them before they get fussy towards the end of a wake window but inevitably because they won't settle they end up upset and worked up.

I'm really struggling and don't have family nearby to help so if anyone has any suggestions (that isn't cry it out) that'd be great

I think the huge thing here is adjusting your expectations. 2.5 hours is a good stretch for a baby that age - neither of mine did longer than 1.5 hours until they were about 10 months old, and for a hellish few weeks it dropped down to waking every twenty mins.
Also don't bother trying to put them down to nap. Just put them in a decent carrier and go for a walk (a fast walk, no bimbling along) or feed to sleep and contact nap. They don't want to be put down and don't sleep well when you try. That's very very normal.

Also anyone suggesting a 14 week old baby should be left to CIO is abusive.

Thanks - I've tried the carrier and it does help I'm just anxious of using it when it's so hot.

It's hard because inevitably I feel like I'm doing something wrong when people at baby groups with babies of similar ages talk about their little ones routinely doing 10pm-5am stretches and having structured naps 🤦🏻‍♀️ it's reassuring to hear that it's not just my experience

You definitely shouldn’t leave a baby of 14 weeks to cry it out. Some crying is completely normal and to be expected.

The most common reason for a young baby to cry inconsolably, is hunger. If your baby cries, do you offer the breast? Breastfeeding is still in the very early stages and is not yet completely established. You should expect your baby to want to feed frequently as this makes more milk for them.

What you are describing at night is perfectly normal. Definitely don’t battle with your baby during the day to get them to sleep. If your baby is fed, changed and sleepy consider popping them into a baby sling, or the pram and have a walk. Alternatively, put them down in their cot and do some hoovering. I always found hoovering relaxed both of us.

You’re doing great! It’s not easy, they don’t come with a manual and just as we think we’ve cracked it, something else crops up.

Nah, they are chatting shit in some sort of weird baby sleeping competition 😂

I used to put a hat on them and then use a muslin to cover their legs (I tied it to the lower straps of the carrier) and just have the baby in a vest or short sleeved onesie. Their little face will get sweaty on your chest but my May born babies were fine like this, especially if you can go to woods or at least stick to the shafy side of the street.

You absolutely shouldn't do cry it out at that age (or ever in my opinion...).
Totally normal to have the frequency of wakes. I never put mine down for naps until she went to 1 nap at about 14/15 months. Just use the carrier, car or pram. Mine would nap in the pram in the house, we used a Rokit to keep it 'moving'.
And honestly ignore what other mums say, yes some babies do have longer stretches but it won't last and also they could easily be lying.
I did side lying breastfeeding and coslept, it got me so much more sleep.

Do they not fall asleep on the breast anymore? At that age I used to just sit on the sofa or on the rocking chair or lie in bed and watch Netflix in the dark, breastfeeding baby and letting him sleep in my arms.

They might not be talking rubbish, but people often tell you when their baby starts sleeping well, but not when it stops. I mean, my baby/toddler/preschooler/child (yes it went on that long) started sleeping through a out a dozen times. They also stopped sleeping through about a dozen times.

At 14 weeks she was routinely going 11-6 and had been since about a month old. Then the 4 month sleep regression hit, and we were back to multiple wake ups.

She also down went for a nap in her moses basket. Once. Other than that it was contact naps.

Her sister woke hourly for over a year (but didn't start this horrific pattern until 6m old). Again she only contact napped.

Your expectations would be high if your baby was a year, let alone barely out of newborn. They are mean to work, and yes it's knackering, so it's a good job they're cute.

Im sorry, we went through same thing and you are like a zombie, but its quite normal. I think I slept walked through this period, my fitbit frequently said I was asleep but I was up watching a film with my baby. Then one day they sleep through and you wake up constantly because they have programmed you. Then they do it again and you get your first good night sleep in ages and the next day you are the most tired in your life as your body remembers what sleep is!

Going through this atm with 16week old. They were doing great and down to 1 wake a night and then at about 14 weeks it all went to pot, as seems to be the case with friends babies of similar age. It's pretty brutal.
But they are still so tiny and dependant, what they need is just lots of contact and cuddles. I've tried to "put down for a nap" maybe twice? Before realising it was a stupid idea, I'd rather just do what works and everyone's happier. They sleep in the sling (sometimes with A Lot of shushing, dummy and bouncing first) or on the boob. I keep an eye on wake windows and sleepy queues but sometimes they will really fight naps and bedtime, but more often than not the contact sends they off eventually. I get nothing else done and that's fine, it won't be forever

Oh also if you have a partner and space in the house now is the time to kick them out. They get to sleep through night but on the understanding that they take baby at crack of dawn so you can get at least a solid couple of hours sleep