Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

How do I handle my six-year-old repeatedly using rude hand gestures?

8 replies

Luckymummyx3 · 07/07/2026 23:57

How do I approach conversations such as this with my just turned 6 year old?
for the last couple of days he’s been coming home from school telling me, so and so thought I was swearing today/so and so said I swore (finger gestures). He knows which finger gestures are swearing (me and his dad do not use them) so when he has said this I’ve asked why would they think that/what were you doing with your hands? He has said things like showing them my sharpest nail or something else unnecessary that could be true or untrue. My advice has been not to put his fingers in any gesture that might be misconstrued for swearing so if showing fingernails for example, just hold all fingers up together rather than one or two. He says things like he just can’t help it, he forgets etc etc. I have told him the consequence of swearing will be that he will get in trouble with school and I do genuinely think he doesn’t want this to happen. But what else do I say to him? To me (as an adult with self control) I feel at 6 he should be able to just simply not do things with his hands that might appear to be swearing. Am I expecting too much? I actually feel the root issue is more the lack of control he seems to have within himself as this is an example from this week but we have had similar with things such as shouting out in class, making silly noises, saying swear words. It’s like he finds something he shouldn’t do and then can’t stop himself from doing it over and over. We don’t make a massive deal out of things and try not to draw attention to them. We make sure we discuss things calmly but make it clear there are consequences particularly for things like swearing, What else can I do? Is this normal 6yo behaviour?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Agent570 · 08/07/2026 00:18

My 5 year old points with his middle finger. I do too. If it were me I’d ask “were you doing it on purpose to swear?” and if the answer is no I’d say that’s good and to just ignore anyone who says you are swearing when you obviously aren’t. I would remind him that if he is actually doing it to be rude and upset other children, there will be actual consequences- so best be very careful as it would be a shame to end up in trouble at school over this. I don’t think I’d give it any thought beyond that. The more weight you put on it, the bigger an issue it will become.

50Balesofgrey · 08/07/2026 00:21

You could just tell him not to do it, and what sanction he will get if he does.

Sodthesystem · 08/07/2026 00:28

I mean…does he have any other ocd or intrusive thought like behaviour?
Is he prone to anxiety?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

mathanxiety · 08/07/2026 02:45

Have you considered the possibility of Tourette Syndrome?

Tourette syndrome - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic https://share.google/bocsybnSTH5SH1OWn

trebeco · 08/07/2026 03:19

In my experience, a lot of 6yo boys are very impulsive. People are quick to pathologise, and sometimes it is a sign of ADHD or whatever, most of the time they grow out of it and learn to control themselves with consistent expectations and consequences. If he gets in trouble for it at school, it’s not a bad thing.

SpottyPyjama · 08/07/2026 03:55

He sounds like a normal kid who is testing boundaries to see how far he can get away with doing something that he knows he shouldn’t.

Decide on a consequence and enforce it.

Luckymummyx3 · 08/07/2026 03:58

@Agent570 @50Balesofgrey This is pretty much the conversation we’ve had, I just didn’t know if it was enough, I’m probably overthinking it.
@Sodthesystem he’s definitely prone to anxiety, I wouldn’t say ocd though. But definitely sensitive to overstimulation.
@mathanxiety I don’t think it feels repetitive enough for Tourette’s although I don’t have any direct experience of it to be fair.
@trebeco yes, I don’t want to pathologise it unnecessarily, he’s definitely got some ADHD traits but he also could just be your typical lively summer born boy so I don’t want to assume things while he’s still so young.

OP posts:
EmeraldSlippers · 08/07/2026 05:03

Are you sure he's actually making the swearing gestures? Might it not be that some of the other children have recently discovered that it's possible to swear with the fingers and are now making accusations / teasing others for doing it if they spy anything vaguely resembling a few fingers extended? Is he upset when he tells you that others have accused him of swearing?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page