Another baby, or wait until we move house?

[sparkleapricot]

I want another baby. I have a partner of 7 years, baby aged 10 months, engaged, and we own our home - 2 bed.

since having our baby, I really want another one. I feel like I want to complete my family and would love short age gaps between babies.

I work full time and I’m due to go back in September.

By the time we’ve saved stamp duty costs, solicitor costs, ea fees, and paid off maternity debt, it’d be mid 2027. We can then move into a bigger house with office space and additional bedrooms.

I’m mindful that pregnancy is 9 months plus however long it takes to fall pregnant, and basically I just can’t work out what I should prioritise at this stage in my life. My partner is happy to do whatever I want to do, as he says it’s my body - but he would also love another baby too.

we have outgrown our house but with the bills being quite cheap, I just really don’t know what to do. I do think you can buy a bigger house whenever but only have one chance at a family (age gaps etc). I guess an advantage of moving would be that we would have enough space for future children if we wanted to.

what would be your thoughts?

If your income is going to contribute to a mortgage then it's better to wait as they will hold this against you in most cases... And usually you have to wait six months post mat leave finishing for your income to be put forwards to any mortgage offer anyway (at least this was the case a couple of years back).

Also you will have double nursery fees etc which impacts it all.

House.

A second baby will affect your income for mortgage purposes. Two full time nursery fees will be incredibly expensive. 2 kids in uni at the same time will be even more expensive. Career wise, it will be a killer for you to have mat leaves so close together.

And also, your baby is at an easier stage and you think it's going to keep getting easier soon. But a 20 month old is very demanding, it won't be the idyllic experience you think it will be. They're still babies close to 2. They need you, a lot.

Unless you're almost 40, in which case yes crack on as time is not on your side at all.

thank you for your reply, genuinely appreciated.

nope I am late 20s so time is on my side! I think I will take your advice. Thank you again.

I see, take your time then, you have time to have at least another 3 kids 😂 Toddlers are genuinely exceptionally wonderful and demanding at the same time, enjoy him and the extra ££.

I would wait until you have a bigger house and more financially secure. Lots of uncertainties in the markets and employment so it's not wise to make any assumptions with future plans. Generally bigger age gaps are better anyway, it gives your body, relationship and finances time to recover, and better for the dcs to have more one to one time with a caregiver than being distracted by a sibling. My eldest was in preschool when dc2 was born and both my babies thrived because they had so much individual quality time in the early years.

Priority is getting married to protect you and your children.

As it stands you might get nothing if your partner dies. How is your house held - tenants in common or joint tenants? You are not his next of kin. He is not yours.

Have you and partner got wills, life assurance on mortgage and also a tax free income ( written in trust) if either of you die/fall ill?

You should not be thinking of having another baby until you have ensured your future financial security.

Yes, I do think that it would benefit dd if she was an only child for the time being - more attention and we can provide a good life for her. I think you are right - preschool could be a perfect age and gives me time to sort my finances out. Wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t cost 20k to move! Thank you for the reply.

I moved house recently while on mat leave and had no issues with mortgage - they just asked to see my most recent payslip with my full salary prior to statutory pay. In Scotland though so maybe this differs elsewhere. We were looking before baby was born but kept losing out to higher offers so in the end moved when second baby was 6 months old. My preference would have been house first but it's all worked out fine in the end! With your age and the age of your baby I'd start house hunting first but if it's taking a while to find anything maybe consider the baby then a move.

When getting a mortgage they will take into consideration the number of children you have along with any credit card debit, loans and car payments. They also have to stress test a mortgage to see if you could afford it if the interest rates went up by say 2%. Some banks are more flexible than others in this regard.

At the moment a lot of people are out of a low rate fixed term mortgage and there payments have gone up a lot. Look at the money sections here to how this is effecting people.

In your situation I would go back to work, get any debits paid off and save hard. I would get married because it gives you better legal protection. You don't need to have a big expensive wedding.

I would also wait a while before having another baby. You need time to recover after giving birth and also it better for your 1st child to have more one to one time with you.
I have lot of friends and family members with kid's. As the kids get older the expenses get higher and the teenaged years are expensive. If you have kids close together you could have 2 in university at the same time. If you wait say 4 years until you next child you might have 2 in university at the same time for just one year. Then it easier with that age gap because your 1st child could be in pre school or school before the next sibling arrives.

Also many people now decide to have one child because of the costs of everything. They don't need a bigger house and may have a more reasonable mortgage payment. They childcare costs are lower and in time they have more desposible income.
This income can enable them to save more towards university or to help there child but a home.

I’d prioritise getting married. You have zero financial protection for you and your children until you get married. Just go to the registry office and have a party later if you would rather save for moving. Baby later!

What is the maternity debt you mention in the OP? If you couldn’t afford your current maternity leave would you actually afford a second one with a higher mortgage post-move and nursery fees for DC1?

I personally would go for the bigger house first. That's what we've done and I'm now pregnant and my child is 4, we will have a 5 year age gap. For us, we couldn't fathom introducing a 4th person into our house as it just didn't feel big enough.

You’re in your late twenties? House then baby.
at your age, even if you had trouble having a second, you have more than enough time to look into it, and if you need medical support with fertility you’ll be better placed to pay for it. That’s really unlikely but I’m just mapping out potential outcomes. Finding you’re having trouble having a second at 29 vs 31 is no difference in outcomes. Buy the house.