Am I a bad mum?

[Iswimlikeagoldfish]

Friday night, I told DS10 he had half hour before lights out. Ds10 struggles to sleep before 11pm
I accidentally fell asleep as I was knackered.
Woke up at 1.30am and panicked found ds10 still awake and told him to go to sleep.

For two days straight he keeps repeating that I forgot about him even though I explained I fell asleep.
This doesn’t happen regularly first time I did it (had a very busy & stressful week.) but I feel awful he keeps saying it. Am I a bad parent?

i mean he’s not a little kid anymore he can turn his own lights out or come and get you! Not a bad mum at all! When I was 4 my mum actually forgot to collect me from a ballet class and I walked home. And I’d never dream of calling her a bad mum lol

To be fair that’s what I thought, I have told him Ive never forgotten to pick him up from /take him to school/do clubs/medical appointments etc but still feel bad as he’s really laying on the guilt trip, but I thought by ten he should becoming a little more independent.

What’s the point in the silly question?

Do you really think everyone is going to say you’re a bad mum?

Your 10 year old is running rings around you.

You told him what time he needs to go to sleep and he chose to ignore you.

Does he normally try to guilt you? Is he trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty so he gets something or away with something.

Last night I was at my mates, we were watching a movie and chatting. 11 pm her DD10 comes down and says I've been reading all this time you, forgot me! Mom said oh gosh I did, I say ooh we got sidetracked with Titanic, Mom goes up and turns out light etc., comes down. We laugh about how cute DD actually came down instead of just going to bed. It hasn't been mentioned since. That's what I'd expect of a healthy, well balanced child.

So either he's teasing and you're over reacting, or he's being a brat to make you feel bad, or these far more going on here in backstory

Nothing more to it. Just wondered if it was normal!

Yes sometimes he tries to guilt me over silly things but I always shut him down. It’s exhausting really, school suspect he could have autism so maybe that’s the reason and he’s just rigid in his ways. Like another poster said he could of come and got me but choose not to when usually he’s constantly asking me things. Funny thing his dad was out for the evening but he never ever says these things to him!

I'd tell DS that this has flagged up that an 11pm reminder from you is too late, and sometimes you need to go sleep before that. Either he turns the light off himself at 11, using an alarm if necessary, or you turn the light off and say goodnight at an earlier time that suits you, eg 9:30 or when you feel like it. His choice but he can't reasonably expect you to stay up until he feels like going to sleep.

No chance I’d be staying up that late for a ten year old when I’m knackered. Lights out by 9 (relaxed over the holidays to a bit later) and he can read books by torchlight if he must.

I put my just turned 4 year old to bed with a tonie and about half the nights when I wake up in the morning a different tonie is on. If he wakes up in the night he puts his bedside lamp on walks over to his tonie box, puts a new one on, gets back into bed and turns his lamp back off and goes back to sleep. He’s 4. A 10 year old should not need to be told to go to sleep, Can he tell the time? If not I know a grow clock is used to toddlers but maybe he could do with one to show him what time for lights out or do you think he would still refuse without you?

Yes he’s an intelligent boy and can read the time. He refuses when I tell him to go to sleep let alone not telling him sleep is a huge issue and I just can’t stay awake till stupid o’clock every single evening anymore.

Yes he’s an intelligent boy and can read the time. He refuses when I tell him to go to sleep let alone not telling him sleep is a huge issue and I just can’t stay awake till stupid o’clock every single evening anymore.

Yes he’s an intelligent boy and can read the time. He refuses when I tell him to go to sleep let alone not telling him sleep is a huge issue and I just can’t stay awake till stupid o’clock every single evening anymore.

Yes he’s an intelligent boy and can read the time. He refuses when I tell him to go to sleep let alone not telling him sleep is a huge issue and I just can’t stay awake till stupid o’clock every single evening anymore.

Just tell him lights out at x time and leave it to him to do it. Or turn the lights out at whatever time and that’s it. If he stays awake after that that’s on him. Ten years old is well old to put themselves to bed let alone just turn off a light!