Positive stories about toddlers with only a few words at 21 months? Remaining hopeful! ✨

[dibbledobbley]

Hi all,

I would love to hear any positive stories about language development if your toddler only had a handful of words at 21 months or thereabouts.

I’m still waiting for the ‘language explosion’ to come and I’m really hoping there is still time for it to happen? Receptive understanding, social skills, gross/fine motor all appear to be broadly okay.

I would love to hear some positive stories of your child similarly only had a few words but then they did eventually come, as I am so worried about it - it feels like the rest of the NCT group all have mini Shakespeares! Thank you 😊

(Please - no links to progress checkers, or info about referrals - thank you!)

I’m a NHS paediatric speech and language therapist. At this age non-verbal communication is as important as any verbal and also how they are using the words, are they just saying them randomly or are they using them to communicate? If they are using any words at all to request or to comment whilst looking at you, then they’re probably okay. When they say baba for blueberries, show you have understood by saying ‘yes blueberries! Yummy blueberries!’Don’t ask them to copy you or try again, accept their version and just repeat it for them correctly. You can help them by modelling very simple language during play and everyday routines, just one or two words to accompany their verbal attempts or their non-verbal communication, to show them what they could say. It is good to get hearing checked to rule that out, as it affects speech and language development. If they are following simple instructions and can enjoy a game eg peekaboo or a song with you than that is also a good sign. Try to talk to and play with them as much as possible, this is much better than any kind of talking on screens. Finally, depending on where you are in the country, you can probably get some kind of early advice from the NHS, so talk to your child’s nursery or have a look on your trust website to see what they offer. Also ask your child’s nursery if they have any concerns.Sorry for the brain dump, I hope some of that is helpful. Good luck!

Dd was an early walker and late talker - apparently often one or the other but also late talking is apparently a sign of dyslexia. At 7 the school suggested we test her and lo and behold, she is. She is doing GCSEs at the moment and despite having atrocious spelling is predicted all two 8's in her English and 7's in nearly every other subject. Please don't worry, dd's vocab is HUGE but she took her time saying it and often mixed sounds up, to the point I wondered if she had trouble with her hearing. It was dyslexia for us but it doesn't mean they don't understand the words you are saying to them. Keep reading to them every night and they will be fine.

That made me laugh! Df told dd3 that grass was orange not green when she was very young so for a while she would call green orange. She is now 18 and yesterday she looked at her dinner and asked what the green bits were, were they carrot. Yes the orange bits were carrot.

Mine had 4 words at 2, by 26 monts was talking in paragraphs. HV said the understanding is the important part at that age. Try to relax.

I could have written this message myself. My son was developing at a normal rate in every other way except his spoken language and for months I was worried SICK. At 21 months he definitely only had a few words, if that. At 29 months I remember sobbing after a day out with a friend's younger child who had more speech than him. My son is now 3 in September and never stops talking. I would suggest he would now be considered advanced for his age, he talks in sentences of up to 6 words sometimes, counts to 20 and names the months!

So please, try not to worry. I know full well how hard it is, how the worry takes over your life, but he's developing fine in every other way. I really think he'll be OK 😊

My son is 9. He has expressive language disorder.

We also started noticing a lack of words not coming. All the other positive developmental signs were there, shares joint attention etc. hearing tests did show glue ear but at the age he went in they wait to self resolve and self monitor. He still has hearing tests to monitor now.

Private speech therapist since nursery years. She’s just discharged him at 9. School MyPlan to ensure adapted learning.

He is a smart little cookie. Speech is something he struggles with and always will. It’s simply much harder for him. He can chat away. Vocab is excellent. Speech is spot on, language is behind. Language is what impacts reading and writing and his processing of information. Give him loads of info at once and he can’t process it and it’s like short term memory loss. It isn’t an intelligence issue, it’s overload. Give him clear instructions and he’s off. Maths etc is excellent as it’s logical and not inferred.

My biggest fear was it would impact friendships and therefore his happiness, but it hasn’t. He has some lovely little friends and when his speech lacked clarity they all seemed to understand him. It will continue to be a big focus area as he heads towards secondary.

I know you don’t want to hear “get a referral” as you’re clearly anxious and want positive stories…but…

1. trust your instincts, don’t just wait. Evidence shows early intervention is key. Nobody will advocate like you for your child.
2. get a hearing test. You can self refer to the GP these days.
3. try not to catastrophize. There are a million reasons for a delay and very few will be significant on life long opportunities or growth. Sure, people need to adapt but it really isn’t horrific. Everyone has challenges we need to figure out, this is just one we know about early and can manage.
4. Really hard one to do and it will take years…don’t compare your child to others. Nobody goes round shouting about what their kid can’t do, you only see what they can do. Another child may be amazing verbally, then struggle with logical thinking and puzzle solving - your kid may be incredible at that. All have strengths and weaknesses.

My eldest didn’t say a word until 2 but was always very receptive and followed instructions, answered with gestures. At 2, he started speaking and although was never speaking as much as others his age, he never qualified for speech and language support. He is 6 now and totally caught up, very articulate, very bright. My second son was saying words earlier but then didn’t progress other than copying words, wasn’t receptive and didn’t follow instructions. Also had glue ear and sleep apnoea. He is 4 now and only just starting to make his own sentences and engage in basic conversations. He has been diagnosed with global developmental delay but I am confident he will get there in his own time. Your child is still very young so I probably wouldn’t worry too much until they get to 2 and never compare to others!! I would also suggest following some speech and language therapists on social media- I have learnt more from them that any NHS service!

Apparently Einstein didn’t talk till he was 3.

my LO was only making noises and signing a few signs at 2 - had hearing checks and SLT support - but we communicated all the time in all the non verbal ways and i was deliberately very relaxed about it and talked to her a lot as if she could understand every word and was “talking back” so it was always two way. from when she was about 3 1/2 everything took off and she is now a year later very articulate. but i do think as a parent you do have to sometimes not fight the fear of “ is there something wrong “ by saying “ there might be something wrong but if there is I /we will deal with it and it will be OK “. i find that helps me stay in the present doing the things which help rather than worrying too much .

this is exactly what i have felt / experienced PloddingAlong - my child has trauma in their story and things have / will be tricky -what you advise is what has helped me - and she brings me such great joy because of these challenges , not despite them.

My dd only said mum, dad and bo(her version of her siblings name) until she was nearly 2 and a half then it was as if she just woke up one morning and began speaking in sentences.

she was hitting all her milestones apart from this one, it was very bizarre how it all happened.

edited to say she has recently graduated with a Masters at university so it never held her back at all,

My son hardly said a word at that age. It was a mixture of not being able to and being shy. He did get speech therapy but not until he had already started school. The summer before starting school his language and confidence came on in leaps and bounds! I’m annoyed I spent so long worrying etc but it’s hard not to at the time.

My DS1 was the same . His sister was 16 months older than him and had been very chatty from a young age . She used to speak for him all the time , ‘J wants a drink ‘ , ‘J needs a biscuit’ and so on . He would bring me the bottle of juice if he was thirsty . I think he just couldn’t be bothered 😂.
He is in his fifties now and does a job that involves a lot of speaking.

Our son at 20 months was a lovely smiley baby, but said no words.
He was referred for hearing assessment.
He got 100%.
They ask him to do lots of little tasks such as put two blue blocks together, put the red block on top of the blue blocks etc.
They said that he was extremely bright.
By 2.5 yrs he started speaking in sentences.
Fast forward to present day, he’s 21, gives presentation speeches to rooms full of people, around the world, earns a fantastic salary and is a lovely chatty young man.
Keep reading to your son, lots of nursery rhymes, talk to him, point out everything around you, and include him in conversations.
We found that, as a second child, our son let his sister talk, but he was taking everything in.

My daughter had 3 words at 10 months and by 20 months still had 3 words just different words. She lost a word each time she learnt a new word.
She mostly communicated by pointing.

We had an assessment done with the HV but as we were due to move out of area in the next couple of months she didn't do a S&L therapy referral.

We moved when she was 24 months and by this time she had 10 words. We had been doing lots of reinforcing of the old words and that helped her retain words. We saw a new job at 24 months and she said as we had just moved and we had gone through a trying 3 months she said she would come at 26 months for her 2 year assessment and if needed do a S&L referral. She asked about nursery, she had just had 3 months out of nursery but had started a new one. The HV said this particular nursery was very good at supporting development without being asked so she was optimistic that they would be able to help. They did, by this time the HV came back at 26 months she was using 2-3 word sentences.

Her learning method is very much waiting until she knows she can do some before she shows you and that is what we saw with speech and walking. If she had misunderstood what a word had meant she would get quite upset, this happened with her first word so I think this made her more cautious to speak. Her personality is very much prefer to not do something Vs getting something wrong

First was speech delayed (realised how much when had second who was completely other end of spectrum). Had SALT referral but had caught up by the time he had the appointment around 3.5. He's 5 and fine now, though will caveat we're 99% sure he's autistic and often autistic children are speech delayed (not suggesting yours is).

Wow, what a lovely and supportive thread. Really, thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I only thought I might get a handful of comments, if that! 😊

Thank you also @ILoveADoubleEntendre for sharing your expertise. The four words are used in context, such as ‘ga-ga’ when we are driving to granny’s house. I feel as though understanding and following instructions are good, there is pointing to objects of interest like planes and bubbles, pointing to body parts and when we say “where’s X” in a book, and yes lots of games like peekaboo and Simon says, and clapping along to the ‘we clap’ song etc. Also waving, high fives and handshakes! Wants are communicated through vocalising (eeeh! Ahhh!) and pointing. So hopefully there is hope there?

(To reassure anyone, all progress checks are in hand, and I had already decided to get a private audiology test done in advance of the 24mo HV check, if words have still not come on by then. 😊)

DS had about 6 words at 2 1/2 when his sister was born. Between then and his 3rd birthday it was like a switch went on in his head and he suddenly started putting two words together and then sentences very quickly after that.
Before that he could point at things in books so there was never an issue with understanding.

My son was very similiar to everything you are saying. Luckily a friend is a SALT so was able to reassure me that as long as he was understanding, and finding ways to communicate like pointing etc then he was doing well, but I was still worried. I started writing down every word he said (just the first syllable counts as a word at this age) and by his second birthday we were on or around 50 (with a lot more coming around 24 months). He is 27 months now and has had a language explosion in the last month or two. I really focused on reading lots of books, asking him to point to everything on the page and labelling everything I could with words during the day and out (so basically just making a really conscious effort that I was teaching him the words so he could learn them!)

My little one is 4 now and starts school in September. We had 13 words at age 2 . Did have a speech delay and was referred to SLT , started speaking in sentences at 2.5 but wasn’t very clear and had speech therapy to help with speech sounds but now caught up with peers! You now would never know there was a speech delay. I was so worried, had many sleepless nights and tears but it all worked out in the end. Best of luck x

Our oldest only had a handful of words until age 2. Within a month of his second birthday he was stringing 3-4 words together and by 2.5yo talking in full sentences. He's now 6 and hasn't shut up since! 🙈 Very good at reading and writing at school now too.

Middle child also had very few words by age 2. Took her a bit longer to start saying more, I think because she was very good at communicating in other ways. She's now 3.5 and talks well with no issues.

Interested to see what awaits with youngest 😂

DD1 had about 3 words at 2.9 years old , she was hugely frustrated, head banging , slapping herself in the face , she was having SLT therapy at 18 months old, at 3 she spoke in sentences over night with a very posh English accent 😂 we live in Ireland ! Peppa Pig we think ! All the worrying behaviour stopped . Turns out she has practically got a photographic memory . Academic , funny , a talented musician .

DD2 didn’t speak until she was 4 years old. Very happy child no interest in talking . That worried me more and she received an autism diagnosis at 3.5 years. She is thriving at 5 , mainstream school , still in speech therapy for some sounds but articulate , way ahead in terms of vocabulary a deep thinker . Hilariously funny . DD2 struggles with emotional regulation but is getting much better , she’s our engineer always building or creating . As a previous poster said if in any doubt early intervention is key . DH and I have a lot of neurodiversity in both families so I was hyper vigilant . “ you know best” though from everything you’ve said I wouldn’t be over concerned . Bless you both ❤️

My DS was having speech therapy as he wasn’t saying many words at 2 1/2 but as soon as he started nursery just after his 3rd birthday his speech improved and now does not stop talking.

My DS didn't have any words till 2. He didn't even say dada or mumma. He's fine now. But he's shy. I really believe he was too shy to try out his words and held back till he felt more confident.

DS2 turned 3 in April. Until Christmas he only said a handful of words, now he talks in full sentences. DS1 was talking in sentences by the time he turned 2 so it was so hard not to compare. We’ve found this is the same for him with a lot of developmental milestones - he didn’t take any steps until 17 months but was confidently walking within a few days. He’s super laid back, the total opposite of DS1, so I’m sure that contributes too!