When did you tell your nearly three-year-old about a new baby?

[Colliewobble15]

Just recently found out we’re expecting baby number 2. My daughter will be turning 3 the month after baby is born. What point did everyone tell their oldest child if they were a similar age , and how do you approach it? I know she may not understand fully at her age.

Our eldest was not quite 18 months when I got pregnant with the second one. I think I told him after we’d had the 12 week scan. I just talked to him about it on a walk and explained that we would be getting a new baby to join us after he turned 2, didn’t make a big thing of it. He was excited as I recall, and understood the idea that he was going to be a big brother but not for a while. He was quite used to babies as a lot of our friends were having children around that time, so the idea that we would be having one didn’t really phase him.

We talked to her a few weeks before the due date. We got Topsy and Tim and the new baby and I think she quite enjoyed it and would go back to it after her sister was born. Her little sister did get her a small present for becoming a big sister. She also got to have a fun day with her best friend while we were in hospital

After the 20 week scan, not even immediately after either...maybe a month? It was winter so I got away with not telling people due to baggy sweatshirts etc. Once we knew it was unavoidable to not have everyone around us noticing we told DS. Didn't want him waiting too long, 4 / 5 months is a lifetime when you're 2.

Think the main thing we did well was not talking about having someone to play with. Saw quite a few of my friends have little kids be really disappointed with a newborn. Not exactly meeting their expectations of what a sibling is! So we spoke about a baby coming a little bit, but otherwise mostly tried to keep his life/routine as standard as possible even once baby was there. I was still the one driving him to the childminder whilst DH stayed home with the baby for example, we went to the skatepark together as we usually would. Perhaps he's not the type anyway but there was never any resentment and no rivalry until much later.

Told the 5&7 year old around 20 weeks with baby #3 for the same reason (didn't want them to be waiting forever). Had to fess up as we were going on holiday and there was no way I was hiding that bump in a swimsuit! They were super excited but did say about a month later that it was a long time to be waiting!

At 17 weeks after an early anomaly scan (due to a previously loss my hospital did two anomaly scans for reassurance- one at 17w and one at 20w). We only told our parents ahead of that (at 12w) as we knew they wouldn't tell DD and didn't want anyone else to know before she did. She was quite nonplussed and tried to look for the baby by looking down my top but otherwise wasn't interested at all 😆

We found out we were expecting DS3 when when DS had just turned two. He didn’t have a clue what was going on, although we mentioned it and tried to explain to him throughout my pregnancy, he really had no idea what was going on. The baby is now 9 months and I’d say in the last few weeks DS2 has accepted he is here to stay and welcomed him into the family 😂

My DC was 2.5 when I found out I was pregnant with my second. I think we told him at the three month mark, in no special way, and he was never anything but excited. My youngest is now 2.5 and they are the best of friends. I have a photo of the first moment DC1 saw DC2 and it’s pure joy on his face.

I'd wait til after the 20 week scan when I was as sure as I could be that everything's ok.

If you're hugely showing or having a very tough pregnancy with other issues then earlier may be needed.

Similar age gap (3y3m) and we waited until the 20week scan to tell DS. We waited for a couple of reasons:

• I had had 2 miscarriages and wanted to be absolutely sure things were ok before telling DS
• we wanted to know the baby's sex so we could make things as clear as possible for DS. This was definitely helpful as he was disappointed the baby would be a girl and I'm glad we hadn't had weeks of build up where he assumed it would be a boy. He's still hoping we might have another baby so he has a brother, although this is not happening; but he's really lovely with his little sister most of the time!