2 year old and 7 month old this is tough

[Stace9875]

So got a 2 year old (coming up for 3) and a 7 month old and I’m finding it tough. My 7 month old has decided he hates nappy changes and getting his clothes on so he will roll over, kick and scream every time. He’s also super mobile so now crawling very fast standing and cruising. I’m breastfeeding him still. Toddler is a great kid but going through all the usual toddler stuff tantrums etc.

There is no time in a day I don’t feel stressed (probably an exaggeration but it is tough). I have so much mum guilt if I’m impatient or snappy with toddler. The house is constantly messy which I despise and I can’t get the clean washing out away so it just sits in a big pile. Don’t feel organised at all. We are in a small house (2 bed) but plan to move next year space (lack of) doesn’t help.

Constantly on edge making sure the 7 month old doesn’t hurt themselves crawling and needs to manage the toddlers needs so they are ok. Husband is a good support and tries to give me breaks but he’s tired as well as toddler isn’t a good sleeper so deals with toddler night wakes, I do baby. Plus he works full time im on mat leave.

I take them to museums with kids zones, parks, outdoor places. Softplay is a nightmare as you need two people there as toddler needs someone to go into the high areas.

Anyone had a similar age gap? Does it get easier? Toddler starts nursery in a few months. I’ve started trying to get back into exercise which I’m enjoying but gives me even less time to sort the house out etc!!

I had 17 months between my two so know where you are coming from, although mine are in their 20s now so I think time has blurred some of the rougher edges.

I think if you can make your house as safe as possible for the baby so he/she can crawl and cruise without tipping furniture over or pulling stuff onto their head then you can leave them to it a bit more. You have to trust that they won’t deliberately hurt themselves and the more you leave them to it, the more they learn about their own abilities and limits. Teach him/her to go up and (backwards) down stairs though!

My youngest was at the crawling stage in the winter so going to the park or outside anywhere was hard as he had to be strapped into the pushchair while the older one ran around and burned off some energy. At least in the summer you can let the little one loose outside. We used to dress the him in just a t shirt and not bother with a nappy if we were in the garden.

As far as the house goes, you just have to let your standards drop and do the bare minimum. Be ruthless about de-cluttering toys. As long as the kitchen and bathroom are hygienic, nobody will die from dust and cobwebs.

It does get easier and I think there are benefits to a smaller age gap when they are bigger, as they can do the same things together.

This was me! There are 24 months between by two and I felt exactly the same. They’re 4 and 2 now. It’s still challenging, but much easier compared to the first year and a half after my youngest was born.
I can’t give you any practical advice, i just had to keep telling myself ‘this will pass’, even though it’s hard to imagine at the time. Try not to beat yourself up about things; keeping 2 small children alive is a full time job and leaves little room for much else! X

Yep. It gets better tho, and it won't be long until you can reap the rewards, because they will have similar interests and attention spans.

Its worth it - 15 &17 here.

I’m only a little bit ahead of you but already yes it’s become so much easier. My two are now 1 and 2.5 and the last six months have been so much easier and more enjoyable than the first six! The other day I had the best day with them I’ve had so far - soft play and lunch with them in the morning/early afternoon and then a walk round the park with some time in the playground after naps. Once they were both in bed I took a minute to just sit and appreciate the moment as I never thought a day like that would ever be possible let alone enjoyable!

This is me! 2.5 year old and a 10 month old currently. I remember everyone talking about how hard the newborn stage would be but honestly that was a walk in the park 😂

My oldest is wonderful but playing every part of “terrible 2s” with gusto sometimes. Baby is on the move constantly, puts everything in her mouth, wrestles every nappy change and is a pain to get down for sleep. Thankfully when they’re actually gone I have 2 very good sleepers.

I am really thinking about seeing the dr for some MH help. I regularly break down into tears and I struggle with their competing needs and the endless “things” I have to do. I get snappy and shouty, then consumed by the guilt. I know it’s temporary. And the joy I get from them levels out the stress I think. Probably not a help to you but at least you’re not alone 🤷‍♀️

I don’t know if it gets easier but it must do, how many before us have done the same and survived?

It does get easier because soon you will be back at work, not surrounded by this drudgery, under stimulated and bored. And then you will have more scope and patience for when you are there.

I have 19 months between my first 2 and the first year was so stressful. I got a playpen so I knew dd2 was safe when dd1 needed the potty etc. We lived in a 2 bed flat on the 2nd floor and dd1's favourite game was dropping her toys over the balcony (this was abroad). After that things got much easier as they could play together and entertain each other.

Yes it gets better, this is the worst bit!

Highly recommend “the wriggler” changing mat… it’s a little baby straight jacket that stops them rolling over. My baby was outraged the first time I used it, but after a couple of times he learnt that he couldn’t roll away and completely stopped trying to and just lay there happily.

It will be much better when toddler starts nursery… the time with just the baby will feel like a break 🤣😅 and then you’ll be excited to go and collect toddler, and he’ll be pleased to see you and the baby.

Argh I have the same 2yo and 7mo and I am ready to throw in the towel most days. 2yo is like full Jekyll and Hyde mode and 7mo is sooooooo clingy, hates being put down ever so I’m usually sweating it out in the carrier (way worse than being 9months pregnant), every nap is a contact nap, I’m bored, frustrated and the house is constantly a bomb site, I could (and do!) cry. I’m going back to work on Monday for a couple of weeks and then properly in September, I literally cannot wait.

Are yours okay in the car? Especially in the heat I’ve been spending 2-3 hours a day in the car driving unnecessarily circuitous routes to random garden centres, or even just parking up and letting them nap. Add a podcast and drive through coffee and it’s just enough to keep me going totally over the edge.

I had my youngest when eldest was 2y4m. The year of maternity leave was hard. Oldest’s 2 nursery days were not so bad but it was exhausting. I found getting out of the house was easier but there’s only so many places you can go!
Mine are now 4y1m and 22months old and it’s a lot easier. Some days are still hard as youngest is the queen of tantrums and oldest is like a teenager at times but they entertain each other a lot now and the routine of being back at work/both in nursery helped a lot.
There is light at the end of the tunnel!

25 months between mine, no local family and DH worked away. It was a tough time and I don’t envy anyone I see with young children close in age. Mine are both in secondary school so very different now. It does get easier, especially once they’re in nursery/school. I batched cooked at weekends, prepped everything in advance and tried to get out at least once a day.

Try having your adult DC living with you and dealing with their smash. I have been very close to walking out and not coming back!

Hope things get easier OP. Every stage had it's tough parts. Teenage years have been incredibly tough here for us.

Almost exactly 2 years between my two. I found the first year incredibly hard and although it was a bit easier after that I don’t think I really felt anything other than stressed until the youngest was about 3 and a half! The real game changer was them both being in school and I’d say from 5 and 7 onwards it’s been amazing. Smaller age gaps mean the hardest bit is early on but then you - hopefully! - have kids who are playmates and similar enough developmentally that they are happy with the same things for holidays and days out. It honestly does get so much better.

Honestly, I find it for a bit worse (from when baby got mobile) and the levelled out. It then got better, but it might be a while. I'd say 2&4, is probably when you'll turn the corner, though that depends on what your eldest is like.

My two are now inseparable and best friends. Things aren't easy (7&9), but that's because of disability/sen stuff more now. If it wasn't for that I image life would be peachy now.

Sorry you’re in the trenches, OP. It can definitely be tough! Be kind to yourself.

On the plus side - I think it will definitely get easier. Mine are just turned 5, 3 and 1. 23 month gaps on either side of the middle child. Personally, I find the bit between learning to walk and learning to talk the hardest - so maybe 10/12 to 18 months - though I know everyone finds different bits more challenging. If I’m on my own with my older two now, it’s mainly pretty great. I’d say it’s been getting better exponentially since the middle one was almost two. They play together nicely and love each other so much.

If I didn’t have the baby, things would be pretty chill most of the time now. Adding a third was much easier than adding a second, but obviously there are always going to be practical challenges with a mobile but dangerous baby!

Awww hang in there !!
19 months between mine, ( now early 20s ) I remember saying to DH what have we done, but there was no going back, and we just had to muddle through. It is very tough, but it will pass, the days are long but the years quick, esp looking back. One day you’ll wish the were small again and tucked up. Be easy on yourself, you doing one of the hardest jobs through one of the hardest phases. Teens is the other, but that’s for another day x