Son not invited to party

[Chrissypalms]

My 7 year old son has told me tonight that one of his friends in school had a birthday party last week and he wasn't invited.
This boy invited 5 other boys from the class to go to his house and then on an outting.
My son is part of that little group of boys so I was kinda surprised but understand they may be limited.
What's annoyed me is that the little boy told my son that his mother wouldn't let him invite my son because he causes too many fights. I feel this is unfair for this mother to say to her son whether she knew this would be repeated or not.

We had my son's party a few weeks ago and invited all the boys in the class as most do, this boys mother had messaged to say they weren't available.

Not sure what to think about this? Anyone experience something like this

If your son causes fights, then that’s why he isn’t invited and the other mum wants her son to stay away from yours. Nothing wrong with it. Try helping your son not to start fights.

I guess this comes down to whether or not your son does start fights or not?

Maybe explain to your son that you don't get invited to everything and if he's still upset you could encourage him to start a fight with the birthday boy as revenge?

But he doesn't cause fights, I've been to many school parties and events and he behaves the same as other boys. His teacher is always very praising of his behavior so the fight comment came out of nowhere for me

He doesn't as far as I am aware, nothing that has been raised to me before until now.
Just think its kinda mean of this mother to say this and also its kind of a standard that everyone invites either the whole class or just the boys or girls not individual children

I'd be picking this one apart a bit and finding out what is happening at school. Have you spoken to your DS about the starting fights comment? Have you had problems with other parents?

I'm thinking most parents would tell their DCs to stay away from other children who start fights or at least cause trouble. So if that's the case then fair enough. Perhaps she is super protective?

Yes when he said that I asked him why and have their been fights and he said no. Generally in class he's very well behaved no reports from teachers etc and not something im aware of.
Its just sad as my son is part of that group and most would be his close friends

That is a bit sad then! She sounds a bit over-protective then I think - and there's nothing you can do about that. I'm sure if there was a problem then his teacher would be talking to you. Hopefully your DS can enjoy his other friends out of school and you can use this opportunity to help him understand that sometimes people are just a bit weird!

Fights don't have to just be physical. Does your son bicker or cause arguments within the group? If I had 5 children over, and then to take them for an outing, I would only want that children that would be behaving impeccably. You've said your son is generally well behaved, indicating their are times he's not.

He's 7, and the chances are his friendships will change in the comings months and years. Don't get so involved and get over it. Just because you invited everyone to your son's party, doesnt means your son has to be invited.

If he in fact does cause fights. Parents can be known to get this very, very wrong as they believe everything their kid says. Ive had another parent say something similar about my daughter, the teacher even said it was the other way around.

I agree, I’m sorry, I thought because she didn’t immediately say that her son doesn’t actually cause fights, that she was admitting he did. I was projecting as I’m fed up of those types of kids making it miserable for other kids.

Often parents can’t see their children as others do (I’m the same with my children, you feel so protective) but have an honest conversation with the teacher. I teach children that are fine behaviour wise but have mean streaks or cause unnecessary drama. They’re not in trouble all the time but it causes friction.