Neighbours keep complaining about noise

[Westcountrybaby]

Hi everyone.

Im not sure what to do as its been over 3 years now.

We live in a semi detatched house
We have a 6 year old and 3 year old now.

Our neighbours hate us. Theyre about late 40's no kids i think the man had a daughther from another marriage or somerhing but shes grown up now.

So every time we go in the garden they moan loudly to make us hear them without them having to talk to us.

Its everytime we in the garden. We even stopped using the garden for a while bcause rhey just moaned all the time.

When kids were very little it was alot louder in the house and i always used to go ovsr and give them sorry cards and treats etc to keep the peace. They were always nice and like "we do hear but its ok"

Things like tantrums, meltdowns and sometikes even us parents shouting as we came to the end of our wick asking a millipn times.

I do understand in mornings gstting kids ready for nursery and school the kids can be loud and they annoy eachorher and meltdowns from 3 year old and shout and scream and we do tell them to keep noise down etc

But we out house most days go out on weekends becuase dont want to be their as they bang on the walls etc.

Normal routine is

Monday and tuesdays kids up around 6.30am son goes to school so they leave at 8.30am sometimes once again there is lpud noise
Then rhey home at around 3.30pm as wife take 3 year old durijg day on monday and tuesdays as shes not at work

Weds,thursday and friday.

Kids up around 6.15 am leave about 7.30-40am to go breakfast club and nursery once again will be noise here and there as wife getting ready for work and i leave at 6.50am for work.
Sometieks 3 year old has meltdowns which inknow would be annoying.

Then back home at around 5.30pm once again as 3 year old been at nursery and we the "safe place" she can have tantrums but do try calm her down best we can.

Every night they in bed bwtween 7.30pm and 8 pm.

Tjen no noise as me and wife normally fall asleep not long after lol.

Weekends we just go out like i said we dont like staying home .

Theyre always nice to our face yet never knock on door just say things lpudly over the fence.
Its happened again today as my wife was in garden with my 3 year old at 3.30pm then at 4pm said they started moanijg indirectly again theb slammed there garden door then came out again and blasted music loudly to obvs make a point my wife said cpuldnt talk to 3 year old my wife also said she wasnt screaming or anyrhibf just playing with her babies and pushing them around in her toy pram and doing a picnic with them

Feel alittle deflated as they can see we are trying we have said sorry many times and do tell them to keep noise down in house and wjen in garden.

What shluld i do?

Ignore and carry on using your garden, l mean what are they going to do?

Just ignore them and carry on with your lives. No more sorry cards or anything like that.

Ignore them. Your children won’t be little forever. Don’t apologise for normal family noise. They sound insufferable.

It's called normal family noise . If they want solitude they can move to the an isolated area . No more pandering to them .

Ignore them and carry on. You are doing nothing wrong

If this is normal family/household noise then you just carry on

Your big mistake was pandering to them with sorry treats or whatever. That means they think they're being reasonable (unless you feel guilty because the noise really is excessive? It's a bit hard to tell from this thread.)

But if it's normal noise, you ignore and carry on

Ignore them! They sound like horrendous people! Its your garden, please don't stop using it because of these insufferable people.

This. Let your dcs enjoy your garden and carry on with notmal bedtime routine.

Ignore the miserable gits next door. You are legally entitled to the enjoyment of your home,and it sounds like you keep sensible considerate hours. They have nothing to complain about.

Honestly, some people think they own the birds in the air !! So tedious.

Another saying to ignore them. That’s what happens if you live close to other people.

We had a lovely elderly lady next door for 20 years and now have a young family with 2 boys. There is constant screaming, shouting, fighting etc.

Yes it is very noisy, but we had young DC once and they had their moments too.

Ignore them. Assuming your noise is just normal family noise.

They can move to a more isolated location if they want silence.

I would get so loud but im petty as shit. But don't let them bully you out your garden

Jeez bang back louder. They are bullies and hugely unreasonable. Confrontation them head on.

If it's normal family noise, it's too be expected. But then again it depends on how many meltdowns and what's the screaming is like. Is it relentless? If so I can see why they are frustrated

Banging on walls is normal family noise? It isn't normal for kids to scream and carry on like that. Maybe for some, but not all. It's how you raise your children.

I don’t think it’s normal for children to be having constant tantrums and for the children and parents to be screaming constantly. That would be pretty difficult to live with from 6.30 am every morning.

I feel dreadfully sorry for your neighbours. Shouting and screaming? That’s not normal family noise that’s wildly disrespectful to others around you; there is absolutely a limit to it and a balance to be had. What on earth is going on in your home that there needs to be shouting and screaming? The only time I raise my voice to my DC is as a last resort and it’s never, ever more than just one singular word out of frustration and that is always the end of the issue.
If DC is loud at any time of day, this results in politely but firmly being told to be quiet, which is always followed by “Sorry”. Problem solved. There’s simply no reason to be loud shout or scream except in a crisis or an emergency.

Buy them some ear plugs and post them through their letter box. Dont engage further.

Honestly it’s very hard to tell whether you’re making a normal level of family noise and they are being ridiculous, or if there’s a lot of shouting coming from your house in the early hours, which would be hard to live next to. The garden playing noise sounds totally normal from your description though.

You and/or your wife shouting needs to stop immediately.

Work on reducing the kids shouting - especially in the mornings.

Tantrums / meltdowns are tougher. Hopefully thats just the 3 year old now, and they are coming out of that phase? How often are they happening?

While family noise is to be expected, especially in a semi, it does sound like there is quite a lot of loud voices from your family. I think understanding is required from the neighbors, but also some effort on your side to try and reduce some if it.

Ignore your sad, passive aggressive neighbours.

Stay home at the weekends, and let them stew.

That being said - how much screaming and shouting is there every day? And the meltdowns? How frequently do they happen? Daily? Weekly?

Why are the adults shouting? There is no need for this.

are the kids learning off you?

They live in an urban area. It is noisy. Our neighbours are quite loud with music and shouting but it’s part of living in a city. Ignore them. Your noise is not unreasonable.

It depends…most people have families within earshot and accept normal family noise. I love hearing kids playing in the garden.
This is going to put some people on the back foot but I’m going to say it anyway. There’s one family that backs onto us where the adults wind the kids up all the time shouting and screaming (they mean it in a playful way). Kids get hyper excited (screaming ) for about 10 minutes and then it ends in tears and a row! It happens every time they are out. My friend has something similar. It’s like they have no middle ground. This probably isn’t your style but some families interact in a way that isn’t compatible with being a good neighbour!