4.5 yr old boy poo problems

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Hi! I am meeting my best friend for a curry tomorrow and I know she is having major problems with her son and poos. He has an average diet and has been to the Drs and has no physical problems, but refuses to poo until he can't stop soiling his pants. For example we went for a walk yesterday and he was obviously in a lot of discomfort and distress after a picnic but despite laying prostrate on the floor screaming did not poo for another 36 hours.She is at the end of her tether and has been everywhere from begging him to poo to screaming in frustration. I have 2 girls and have had no out of the ordinary experiences in toilet training them so would welcome any advice I can pass on.

Sounds like a bit of a problem. Some kids like to keep their poo because they see it as part of them. Once it has gone it really upsets them. has she tried explaining to him that it is the bits of food that his body doesn't need and making him a star chart to encourage him to go when he needs to?

She has star charts coming out of her ears. He is an intelligent lad and is very outgoing and confident generally. I have suggested he gets too much attention for bodily functions so she has ignored them to no avail other than lots more washing for her.

I've seen a lot of kids that are afraid to go to the toilet because they thing their poop is part of them and they don't want to let it go. If he's bright then he needs to learn what it is and why it has to go into the toliet. He's old enough to know this now.

Thank you avenanap I will print this off and pass it on. I am encouraging her to become a mumsnetter! We have survived post-natal depression together so hopefully this may be the start of a lifeline for her too!

her health visitor may be able to help aswell. It's worth having a chat.

Any other perspectives on stubborn poo inhibited boys?