Would school allow a week's absence while I seek support?

[Sadbadmum]

I need some serious help.
I have an 8 year old girl who is firey and not an easy child.
I also have a 12 week old baby so life is a lot at the minute.
I need my eldest to go stay with her dad for a while while I reset and make a plan of action for her behaviour, I struggle with my mental state and I can feel myself slipping into a dark place of rage and violence.
My question is, will the school consider this an exceptional circumstance for her absence for the week? I’m going to contact social services for some support too.
thank you

sorry you’re having such a hard time.

how far does her dad live from the school?

only thing I’d warn about is that if she feels she’s being ‘sent away’ while you’re at home with a new baby she’ll likely feel left out or abandoned by you and her behaviour will escalate. However, if it’s your only option I’d try and explain why before she goes

The school holidays are in 3 weeks, whilst I understand your difficulties, the routine of school is often useful with children especially if they are struggling with a new sibling - her dad could come to her perhaps to keep her routine more stable. Unless you are considering her permanently moving in with her dad obviously.

It should be OK but I would 100% make it out like a treat and exciting thing for her to go to her Dad's not a punishment.
Have you been like this before? It could be a form of Post natal depression. Hope you are OK and well done for being so proactive about this.

I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time.

I suggest talking to the school. You need support and a team behind you.

Like the PP I’d be cautious about making your DD feel like she’s been “sent away”. Her dad also needs to step up and get her to school if at all possible.

It’s very nearly end of term. Can you make it to the holidays?

Op I think she's possibly struggling with lack of attention from you. Feeling a bit pushed out. Sending her away really isn't going to help.
Get Dad to take baby for a couple of hours and you go and do something with DD without baby causing distraction.

Something, anything take her for a swim, cinema, a fancy juice at Costa, something that is her time.

I’m so sorry that you’re struggling so much and I hope a week’s reset really helps.

Is her DF willing to have her and is she looking forward to an extra week off School?

I would talk to your GP and HV about how you’re feeling.

Have you always struggled with your DD’s behaviour or has it changed with your PG and the arrival of LO?

Would her f be able to care fulltime, does he work, is he too far away to get her to school? If you have recently had a baby, routine of a school day and their support might be all the more important.

Would it be possible for the baby’s father to focus on them, so you can focus on the big one?