Can your 4.5yo write?

[Xalyssie6]

Ds starts reception in September. He can do circles, lines , triangles sometimes a square! Not very straight but he does the shape and is very much analysing shapes atm (is that a circle mammy etc when we do them)

He can read some letters and knows how to spot his name and even the word mummy, daddy and his little sisters name so he is starting to recognise some letters and be able to read/identify them

He can't write words! Am I silly asking is this normal? He can write an F ! His name starts with this. Im doing a silly panic comparison I just seen a home Ed lady on tik tok share her 5yo, who is older of course, I think hes 5.5? But anyway he wrote some full sentences and did a pictures fully and it made me worry am I behind but again a year is a lot of time isn't it

And he'll probably learn it? He goes to pre school and we try to help currently doing tracing letters Tasks to aid this

Am i doing everything right? What can I do to help him for school start

You're doing fine. I had one who could read at 5, one would didn't read till he was 8. They're all different. Don't compare to anyone. Your lad sounds just perfect.

My son couldn’t write his name before reception I asked the teacher during one of the settling in sessions and she said that’s normal and not to worry. He’s now end of year 1 and can write, read fluently etc - still working on handwriting and spelling but you can still understand what he’s writing. They learn so much you will be surprised by the change in a year.

Sounds like you’re doing everything right to me. Mine could write a bit at 4.5, but was massively helped by having a slightly older sibling to watch. There’s a big difference between 4.5 and 5.5.

Don’t worry, he will be ok. They all learn at different paces, it’s often harder to unteach incorrect teaching rather than teach from scratch so better to focus on school readiness rather than intensive writing coaching before school.

can he do up his own coat? Put on shoes and socks? Go to the toilet?
can he wait his turn? Share? play board games?
Has he developed his fine motor skills and abdominal muscles in order to mark make then write? Googleactivitesyou can do together for this instead eg
the five minute mum is a great book if u want easy stuff to do together, eg water in spray bottles to clean toys/spray an ice cube/a wall in summer will strengthen hand muscles.
play blending activities to get him used to it eg touch your h-ea-d, that’s right, your head! Point to the c-a-t yes the cat! Well done!

counting games up and down the stairs/counting nursery rhymes

My daughter could read and write by 4.5 but she had already done 6 months in reception by then.
At this age, time in education plays a role as well as age, gender can be a factor too with boys on average getting the motor skills for pen control slightly later than girls (crucial word on average and note there is wide variability!)

Sounds fine and very normal! Is the child able to focus on one thing for any length of time, sit down for ten minutes, and hear the word ‘no’? All important as well.

He’s so young. Mine is the same age and won’t be starting school until a month before he’s 6. We’re in Scotland and I much prefer it that way.

Mine can read well, draws pictures, writes his own name, and can sound out words and have a good bash at writing them.I still think he’s too young for school at the moment.

Don’t worry about your son. I think encouraging drawing is far more important. Can he draw simple stick figure people and little scenes? Drawing and crafting together is more important than worrying about letter formation- that comes in time.

I learned to read by 4. On my own. My Mum never knew how I did it. But....I wrote backwards, like mirror writing. Mum was concerned and spoke to my school before I even got there. They said, dont worry, we will.sort her out.

Not sure how long it took, but they did.

I dont remember any of it.

My twins were 4.5 when they started school and they couldn’t read or write either. Only learnt to write their names when there

No, but he's not at school. It's completely normal for them not to be writing when they start school, don't worry!

Completely ignore tiktok, most of the time it is a load of rubbish on there anyway.

I think the main thing at that age is to keep it fun and exciting and not feel like a chore. My 4.5yr old can do a few letters but not great at drawing shapes etc but he absolutely loves having a go because there’s no pressure.

Nephew starts in September too. He can write 1 through 10 (a bit dodgy) and his name. That’s about it. And the e’s are sometimes backwards and it’s all quite bobbly and has terrible perspective.

He draws a good spider with 14 legs. Oh and he holds his pen incorrectly.

Neither of mine could write when they started School. Your time with them now is so precious, I would leave writing for now.

My kid is about 4 years and 9 months old and can write her name (though sometimes gets the letter order in the middle wrong), can recognize some words and can sound out some words when we work through each letter with her. A few months ago she couldn't do any of that. She seems to be one of the strongest in her group for writing, but holds her pencil in her fist, while the others hold theirs properly. She doesn't listen really but then things often suddenly click in place. I am not worried about her not being able to read - she loves books and will learn when she is ready. In a lot of countries they start school a lot later, there is no reason to rush them.

On a side note, I changed school at 7 and they put me into a special class for English lessons because they decided I couldn't read. I could read but didn't highlight it as I liked being read to and hated the book they were doing in the class at that time as I felt it was for babies - they got me tested and I had a reading age of 18. Kids often know more than we realize, their brains are doing a tremendous amount of growing!

DCs make a huge amount of progress in reception, a child who is over 5 will have done almost a full year of reception curriculum by now and most dcs will be writing sentences by the summer of reception. It's less about actual age though as some dcs will be much younger in the year but have done a year of reception. My dc2 can write her name now aged 4 and in school nursery, there's a child in her class who is writing sentences but she's quite heavily hothoused (has tutors for piano, language and singing) so it's achievable if you push it but most kids get to the same place in the end.

It’s important that they can recognise their own name for identifying their peg, discarded jumper etc. They don’t necessarily need to know how to write it. Strong find motor skills will put him in the best place for when
school start teaching it so colouring, play doh, bracelet making and lego if he enjoys them are probably more valuable than pushing the writing if he isn’t keen. Other stuff to focus on would be his independence- put on coat and shoes by himself, use the toilet including wiping properly, eat his food with a knife and fork. Then turn taking, instructions and focus- can he play a board game with you and sit and listen to a story? Can he do an age appropriate jigsaw or build a 4+ lego set?

The 'Summer birthday' one, who had been at school almost 1/2 a year when they were 4 1/2 could, but the Autumn birthday dc, who hadn't started school at 4 1/2 couldn't.

My September girl so will be oldest in her year can write her name and some numbers. She can write mummy and daddy and a few of her easy to write friends names- Ava for example. I haven’t taught her any of this it’s all from preschool and her letters aren’t formed that well. She has progressed massively since last September though. She can also read simple words through decoding them such as cat, dog, vet etc.

Really don't worry ( retired primary teacher and tutor here). In my opinion it is way more important that he do lots of pre- writing activities over the summer.

Here are some ideas:

Mark making
Give him a container of water and an old house painting brush and let him " paint" outside on the patio, fence, house wall etc. This gives practice at making marks large using whole arm movements before reducing it to smaller ones
Ditto pavement chalk ( but don't get it on brick as it doesn't come off easily)

Chalk on vertical surfaces- eg blackboard or piece of coloured paper taped to wall.
If you don't mind mess you can also use dry wipe pens on patio doors. Vertical writing improves shoulder stability which is essential for writing. Paints and painting are also good and you can take this outside in good weather to reduce mess.

Pre- writing role play - play shops with pretend shopping lists, cafes with pretend menus and orders, cops and robbers where police write down description of offenders (?), pirates Nd treasure maps, anything you can think that will appeal and spark imagination ( Andy writing down a list of the dinosaurs he has seen that day? You know what he is interested in). Accept random squiggles as writing in these games but model proper writing when you take your turn.

Obviously have lots of free access to pencils/ crayons/ paper

Easy mazes where you mark the correct route with a crayon.

Large muscle development for shoulder stability
Obstacle races that involve crawling
Playground play, especially climbing frames and monkey bars - can he set and beat his own personal bests on how many bars he can do etc
Wheelbarrow races

Fine motor control
Lego
Play doh and plasticine
Hama beads
Construction toys with bolts and nuts
Toys with small parts like Playmobil
Board games like Ludo and Snakes and Ladders - moving a small game piece while counting each square helps with motor control and counting/ number
Buttons and zips - encourage him to do up and undo his own buttons and zips. This helps with the dressing/ undressing aims for starting reception but also with fine motor skills
Rubbing fat into flour while baking and putting small spoonfuls of cake mix into individual cases.
Scissor skills - at this age give them a pile of old magazines/ birthday cards etc to cut up and a scrap book to stick the pictures in with glue stick. Accept it if he just wants to snip the paper into bits. It is still using scissors and working on skills. Supervise unless you want him or a sibling to have an interesting hair cut!
Sewing cards where you have to put the threads up and down through the holes.
Bracelet and necklace making

Oh and read, read read to him. Go the library and choose books to share.

The summer will go very fast. My suggestion would be to roughly plan some of these activities for each week so that you know you have the materials to hand.

My son is the same age and the only word he can write is his own name. He can have a go at most letters and numbers but doesn’t form all of them properly, does some backwards, some aren’t truly legible and he just doesn’t know some of them. He’s completely unwilling/unable to put the letters together to make words though.

I’m a former primary teacher and completely unworried about it. I’ve taught Year 1s who struggled to write at a reasonable size and who were barely writing full sentences so a child who hasn’t even started reception doesn’t need to worry!

Such wise advice