Feeling burnt out keeping up with energetic 3 and 4 year olds

[Kiki234]

Please can a wiser mum please help me.

Recently I am feeling exhausted and burnt out. I feel as though I have no energy left to even raise my kids the way I want to.

For context I have a 3yo and 4yo. Up until now I've managed well. I work as a doctor working part time and trying to get some exams done. I usually cook from scratch, see family, make time for my own health, no screen time and lots of activities.

In the past 3 months however, I cannot keep up with the kids. I cannot keep them entertained enough. The mess is flowing and jobs are just endless. It just feels like they have SO many ideas and things they want to do. I've always really encouraged them making plans and ideas of things to do for the day, but I just cannot keep up now.

I feel like something has shifted massively with their energy. My 4yo is in half a day preschool and my 3yo is at home. I really enjoy being embedded in family life as much as possible and up until now I've loved it. In just going crazy with how fast paced everything is getting.

Not a wiser mum, but in a similar boat I guess. 1 year old and 4 year old. Full time working, long commute, ideals of ensuring a perfect childhood!

Ive recently succumbed to some screen time at the weekend. 2 hours whilst the little one naps. Everyone gets some downtime, I can get some chores done, I’ve just stopped aiming for what we’re told are the ideals!

woukd they sit and watch a film?

It does get easier.

We had 3 under 3 and it was very tough. Youre right in the trenches there.

Stick the tv on now and then for a break. There's some lovely tv shows for children now

Sending solidarity, I remember the relentlessness well
find easier activities eg the five minute mum books are good.
I gave up on activities that took too long to tidy eg I hid the Lego for six months and we didn’t eat couscous or rice because I couldn’t face the mess any more.

control their choices more eg “do you want to colour in the cardboard box or do dressing up?” Rather than “what do you want to do?”

make them tidy up, not you, once a task is finished. I used to put a song on and make a game of it-who can tidy up fastest/hide two biscuits in amongst the chaos and they only find them if it’s clean

hide then rotate their toys so they forget old ones. Equally, I’d recommend going to a charity shop with them and letting them pick a toy- take the bus, make a day of it, yes they’ll come back with crap but they’ll love it

but most of all, be kind to yourself. It is tough, you are doing your best and that is enough.

If you don’t want screen time, look into children’s audio books as an option as there are great things out there. I like the hudle I think it’s called (bright orange) or you could buy them headphones and use a library app called borrow box on your smartphone

id also recommend a timer that the children can understand and a trampoline, eg play on the trampoline and don’t come in until the timer beeps. Sometimes kids say they’re bored just to see our reaction and they need to commit to a task for longer to start to enjoy it and properly play (I think 45mins is what the parenting books said last time I read them)

I have the same age gap. Hang in there, it gets better, I promise. Mine are 5 and 6 now. Much better once they start school, they learn to behave and about boundaries etc. Still have their moments but much easier than when they were 3 and 4