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Parenting

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Step parenting teens..

6 replies

WiseMaker · Today 11:23

I’m a stepmum and I’m really struggling with the situation at home. My husband has three sons, aged 22, 19 and another younger son. The eldest two still live at home and, honestly, I don’t feel I can trust either of them around our daughter.
Both have issues with gambling, smoking weed, drinking, and steroids involved. There are anger issues too, particularly with one of them. They have very few responsibilities at home and seem to have a lot of freedom to spend money on gambling, drinking and drugs rather than contributing much or working towards moving out.
One works in husbands company but recently stole from the company and still has his job.. The other walked out and now just home.. both heavily into online gambling.. No consequences, and i have little say in the matter.
I completely understand that life is expensive and that young adults often stay at home longer now, but I’m increasingly worried about the influence this is having on my daughter. She’s growing up seeing gambling, weed and unhealthy behaviour as normal, and I don't want that environment for her.
I feel guilty because these are my husband’s children, and I know he wants to support them. But equally, I feel my first responsibility is to protect my daughter and provide a stable home environment for her. Has anyone else dealt with this with adult stepchildren whose behaviour affected younger children in the home?
the situation is starting to make me think about leaving, because I don’t know how much longer I can live with the constant worry and tension.Interested to know if anyone else has experienced this. Does it get better? worse ?? It just seems to be one thing after another.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · Today 11:27

This is a pretty grim setup. Are you married? Home ownership shared? I would certainly be thinking Them or Me in your situation.

WiseMaker · Today 11:35

Yes married but husband has the house in his name.. I just can't really see how things will change when there are no consequences and direction. It's just staying the same. Obviously, I keep my daughter away from it all, but I feel like i can't leave my husband to look after her as he's too relaxed about it.

OP posts:
whippersnapper55 · Today 12:03

That sounds frankly horrendous and if I were you, I'd take my daughter and leave. This is not a good household for her to grow up in. Your husband is being a terrible parent 🙄

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Iwanttobeafraser · Today 12:05

IS she your DH's DD too?

I think that yes, your responsibiltiy is to your DD. If things really are that bad, then yes, you may need to separate to protect her.

arethereanyleftatall · Today 12:58

To the op - yes to separation and protecting your dd and getting her away from all this shit

to anyone reading who potentially might get themselves in to a relationship like this - don’t marry someone and have children with someone who shows you what a terrible parent they are

Tryingtobenormal124 · Today 13:34

Taking drugs in the house or smoking weed is a definite no. As grown ups not much you can do. Id be looking for somewhere else to live. Your child needs to come first. Husband could always move his kids out, or move with you and your daughter if he's so inclined

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