Is mixed nighttime breastfeeding and settling fair for a 13 month old?

[Ooja]

Hi 👋
I have recently returned to work which is a mixture of day shifts and night shifts. I’ve always co slept with our DD (13 months) because it worked for us. On the night shifts DD sleeps with her other mum (who does not breastfeed) and she is able to settle DD with rocking etc, sometimes even gives her milk/yoghurt…but she does seem to wake more frequently. Then when I am not working night shift, I co sleep with her and she breast feeds at various points throughout the night (I’m not sure how much cos of the co sleeping). My question is what’s the general opinion on whether it’s fair for DD to have these run of nights where she has the boob on tap and then sporadically not having it? It probably is confusing for her, but I wonder is it something she will get used to? Or is it not fair and I should night wean her?

I think that's completely fair. You can offer BF and other mum can't. Your DD knows that. Of course night wean if you want to but I wouldn't for that reason. Mine is 20 months and fortunately sleeps through but I BF at bedtime and obv DH doesn't when he does it. No difference in her settling and her nights. Just my opinion but I wouldn't be giving anything but BF or water once they've had their teeth brushed, after 12 months, purely from dental perspective. Multiple wakes I'd be trying less day sleep and/or a later bedtime, make sure she is as tired as possible.