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Parenting

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CFS/ME and parenting

1 reply

Kittycats1 · 21/06/2026 08:29

I have Chronic fatigue syndrome and I am really struggling at the moment to parent my two daughters (8 and 6) and have time to rest. I am divorced from their dad he sees them every other weekend. I do have a long term partner we have been together 2.5 years. I work 20 hours a week 8am-12pm meaning I can drop them off and pick them up from school, whilst having a rest in the afternoon before pick up. All in all I actually find the week days manageable. But the weekends are another story. My 8 year old daughter is Autistic and as long as she is in a routine and has lots of craft materials she’s pretty good at entertaining herself. My 6 year old however is incredibly needy. She has to be with me all the time. She’s not toilet trained (not from lack of trying) and requires a lot of attention. Shes on the waiting list for support as we have already seen a paediatrician, health visitor, school nurse and incontinence service about support. I feel like looking after my 6 year old is a full time job and feel sorry for my 8 year old that she gets forgotten a lot. I try to do activities with both of them but they just end of falling out every time. Can anyone give me some ideas of what I could do to keep them both entertained and feel like them have my attention while I also can get some rest? I feel like I should be enjoying my weekends with them but really I just feel sad I don’t have the energy and I’m constantly just thinking when can I rest next.

OP posts:
Mumwithagreenhouse · 21/06/2026 17:03

Also have CFS/M.E and I’m a single (widowed) parent. I only have one child (now 11) but I know how it feels to be struggling to be the kind of energetic mummy you want to or feel you ‘should’ be. It wasn’t until my DD reached 9/10 that I realised that it was only me who had that expectation - to DD, I was just Mummy! She didn’t have an expectation. Yes I do feel guilty occasionally when I have to lie down on the sofa or when I can’t cope anymore on a day out and we have to leave after 2/3 hours but to be honest, she’s normally knackered herself by then anyway!

Take it easy and allow yourself breaks. When it comes to things like mowing the lawn, I do that in 2 or sometimes even 3, stages. One stage per day.
It’s been 23 years since my diagnosis at 18 and I STILL haven’t learnt my own limits properly but I do know to pace myself with everything I do.

As for DD she has grown up so far, knowing mummy is disabled and can only do so much, and she doesn’t know any different. She’s incredibly helpful ie: she always offers to run and grab something or nip upstairs for me etc. She’s nowhere near the stage of being a young carer or anything but is just a helpful and kind child and loves getting things for mum and being helpful.
Can you possibly afford a club for one or both of them to attend one day per weekend? Even if it’s just for a couple of hours?

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