DS’s obsession with his Willy!

[somanychristmaslights]

He’s always got his hand down his pants if sat on the sofa. What is it with boys and their bits?! He’s only 8 🤦🏻‍♀️

My 8 year old is the same, my 10 yr not so much! Their dad was one of 5 brothers and apparently it’s normal. They don’t grow out of it either if his dad is anything to go by

If he'd been told as a toddler what socially acceptable behaviour is (like little girls are) then he wouldn't be mindlessly doing it as an 8 year old - or 22 year old.

Crazy how society expects so little of boys and men.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t teach them what is appropriate. Hate this ‘they can’t help it’ attitude. They need to learn. And if that isn’t underway by 8, when are they going to learn to behave in a civilised way?

Some women actually accept this in their husbands...

Playing with hair is most definitely not comparable to playing with genitals in public, and for good reasons.

The self soothing element is comparable.

But is that because girls wouldn't be interested in/too mature to be doing anything like that, or merely because they don't have dangly things in there that they can grab - and indeed which they would be used to holding every time they go for a wee?

As I said before, from a fidgeting perspective, girls will often enjoy playing with and touching other dangly things like hair and clothes; but these are obviously not seen as private or rude in the same way as willies are.

He needs to be taught you don't touch your privates in front of others. Even if you've got clothes on.

Have you ever had an 8yo child? Have they always acted appropriately and with maturity in everything they do, with no parent input whatsoever; or have you maybe needed to continually guide and tell them when they're doing things that they shouldn't?

Fidgeting is fidgeting. Most boys don't have long hair that they can twirl or wear flowing clothes or accessories that they can stroke, but they do have willies.

Why do you think that those fidget spinners and poppers were so extremely popular with children, yet not really with adults? It's not going to be sexually motivated at that age.

It’s down to you to teach him not to…

It is; but this is a normal phase (albeit one that some grown men seem never to grow out of).

It's a bit like the threads where OP asks about their baby refusing to sleep, or their toddler biting others at nursery, or crying when their parents leave them there for the day. Some parents just want reassurance that their child isn't out of the ordinary; or are sometimes just wanting to vent about normal child-related issues but ones which most parents will nevertheless find challenging.

It’s normal.

but it’s also normal at age 8 for parents to discourage this from happening in the living room / public etc.

I'd hope that if this behaviour is stopped when they're little, they don't do it as adults. A woman I used to work with was complaining one day that her husband constantly fondled his balls when they were sitting watching TV. She'd ask him not to, he'd stop then just start again. All the women found it revolting. All the men laughed or made excuses for him.

Noone is saying it's sexually motivated, it's just not appropriate in public and parents need to teach their children that. I'd say the same if it was a girl touching her bum.

Mine never did this. Perhaps in the bath, when little. Not sure why some do and some don’t.

Some do. I was at school with one. Same reason, I suspect, in that it feels nice and social constraint have not kicked in.

Normal in a toddler, not an 8 year old, or 22 year old, or a married man.

Because you're supposed to teach toddlers not to play with their genitals in public.

Not sure that's really how neurodiversity works, tbh ... but I suspect there's no point in getting into a discussion about it with you, so I'll leave it at that

I bet he doesn't sit doing it at school.

He can control it, he's just not used to having to at home.

''Get your hands out of your pants and go upstairs to touch yourself!!'

loud voice. I'm sure he'll stop mindlessly fondling after a few times. He's 8 not 3.

I have 2 autistic boys and they never did this. Maybe privately in there rooms i wouldnt know but certainly not in front of anyone.

I'm not saying that it is appropriate; just trying to address the OP's question.

It’s a normal phase in very small children. It’s up to parents to ensure that it doesn’t continue though, so no it’s really not normal at 8 years old.

All males are obsessed with their willys 😂. Tell to sit in his room if he wants to play with it. Explain there's nothing wrong with it, but he's a big now and it's private, so go to his room when he's playing with it. Every time you see him, send him. He'll soon get fed up.

So you teach a toddler something and then they have it all understood and never forget or make unwise decisions again? Really?

My DS is at secondary school and you still have to drive very carefully along the main road to it, as plenty of those teenagers don't even know/remember/think about checking for traffic before you run straight into the road.