Daughters and secondary school public transport journey: did you talk to them about potential dangers, what to do in case of perverts, etc?

[CForCake]

Our daughter is starting secondary school in September. We are in London, and she'll have to take public transport - either bus + tube or National Rail train.

I am curious how parents in similar situations approached the matter with their daughters. We are not helicopter parents but we want to strike a reasonable balance between gradually making her independent and self-confident, while making her aware of potential dangers.

E.g. the daughter of a close friend was recently attacked by a scumbag who tried to grab her breasts; she screamed, passers by came to help and he ran away.

What have you told your daughters?
To watch out if someone sits next to them on an empty train?
To be alert if someone seems dodgy?
Have you had a chat on what to do should someone behave inappropriately?

We are not overly worried; in a way, her public transport route is possibly more monitored than a long walk would be. We are just interested in hearing thoughts and experiences from other parents. Thanks!

I’d tell her never to sit on the inside - always outer seat so she isn’t trapped. She can always get up and let person who wants a seat have the inner one.

Avoid empty carriage if possible. Choose seat near other women. Be a snob. Choose respectable looking people to sit near!

Get her Krav Maga lessons.

When my kids are travelling (mainly walking).or out and about on their own I make sure they know who to go to in case of an issue - I usually recommend someone official in a hi vis, or a lady with a child! It's hard to strike a balance without scaring them though, I get it. Especially when I think of some of the things I saw/experienced on public transport as a teen 😳

In a bus, sit near the driver.
Also, no earpods. She needs to be aware of what's going on around her.

I think they need to be scared - or at least wary.

When kids were little we always told them if they were lost they should approach a lady with child or policeman or go into a shop and that has stuck

DD thought she was being followed home and called me to tell me she was going into a shop and she waited in there for a while. I do t think the guy was following her tbh but it’s important they trust their gut.

the main thing is she understands that there is nothing wrong with getting up and moving if she is uncomfortable. It’s unlikely the train will be empty given the time of day for commutes and she’ll likely have friends with her