If you have a daughter at secondary school

[Fliper72]

What sport/extra curricular are you really pleased they took up in primary?

DD is 6 and currently does piano/music/acro/tumbling/swimming. It's a lot, and but I'm also wondering whether she should branch out to try different things. I'm not anticipating that she competes at the Olympics or becomes a professional musician, but I would really like her to find something that continues to give her joy (and keeps her off her phone) as she gets older. I think she'd be open to trying new things: at the moment, other than a passion for cartwheels, she mainly doesn't really mind what she does so long as she has a friend in the class.

My DD does martial arts. Whilst music/sports are great, I think self defence is sadly a necessity now (especially for girls). I’m not saying it will guarantee her safety, but she learns to be aware of her surroundings and how to best try and protect herself if needed. Streets are not safe and kids are walking around schools with knives, it’s honestly terrifying to think about them growing into teens and taking themselves off to school or going to the shopping centre with their friends.

if she's liking music and the piano then I'd look to include an orchestral or band instrument. not everyone is sporty enough to play team sports at the levels often required for school or clubs teams once they get to secondary school age but orchestra / band can have that same effect of "team work".

Try as much as you and she can tolerate before seeing what really brings her joy.

My DC - now early teens - were both reluctant joiners despite me dashing around trying to give them the sort of childhood I wish I had had.

Things I wish my children had been good at: tennis, piano, violin, swimming, rowing, athletics, ballet, languages, martial arts, Brownies or Scouts, coding.

Things they actually enjoyed: football, netball, rugby, non-competitive gymnastics, singing.

I made both do French from age 3 with a local dragon of a teacher who held toddler classes. While one has dropped French in favour of German, both are now quite good at languages (both will continue with Latin at GCSE) and have a good musical ear.

They’re both sporty but not very competitive which annoys me as I had zero ability! They’re both naturally musical but don’t want to be in orchestras or do any practice…

I envy your energetic daughter! Of all the things I have listed, I think tennis would be the most useful to have in later life so they can swan around a tennis club.

I have also observed that children who swim competitively tend to be successful as it involves discipline and early starts. Ditto rowing.

@MiddleAgedDread is right about an orchestral instrument. Most parents start out with piano but there is very little demand for pianists… If you are thinking ahead to secondary school selection, unusual orchestral instruments can help (I’m looking at you French horn)…

Netball for sure. They were never superstars and they had a few years not playing as we moved to a different country but have taken it up at uni.

Agree team sports IF she is reasonable at them. Netball, hockey, girls’ football can all keep giving social benefits through junior and senior school and into adulthood. Good for fitness too of course.

Swimming and gymnastics are tricky as they tend to demand more and more hours as you get older and have training at annoying times.
Amazing for fitness though and swimming obviously has safety benefits.

Dance it all depends on whether the club is nice and relaxed or scary and competitive.

Music is great but only if she enjoys it, IMO if you are having to nag them all the time to practice then it’s not a true love and will get dropped.

Kickboxing (in a really supportive club) and Scouting are the ones mine continued with. Dancing they did for years but the teacher decided to retire after the faff of getting the club back up and running post-pandemic and we never looked elsewhere, swimming we stopped once they were water confident and it just became lengths of refining strokes at increasing speed and distances.

Remember they'll pick up other stuff as they start secondary (if they're the type to do that) - my youngest goes to most lunchtime clubs, also book club, DofE, they do the school musical every year which is a huge production and I think the youngest also does Pokemon club, Harry Potter club, Net Zero club and all sorts they offer within school. The eldest has no interest unless it has an advantage for her and good wifi.

My two daughters now in their 30s both went to scouts ( can start at 4 now with squirrels)
Whilst not a skill they practice in the way you ask, the skills and life experience it gave them is i think immeasurable. There are too many to be specific but I think especially for my youngest who lacked confidence it really helped hers, also theyre slightly younger cousin who didn't says herself she can see the difference in theyre have a go attitude

Apart from swimming don’t start anything she doesn’t ask for. Less rushing around for both of you

Priamry school is for figuring out what she likes, so I'd let her try new and different things as she gets a bit older. DD has done swimming, martial arts, hockey, dance, music and theatre. The dance, music and theatre has stuck.

oh yes, the more impractical the better! Cello / double bass, french horn, trombone, bassoon and you'll never be out of "work"!! The Oboe is also a good option and more practical than transporting an instrument larger than yourself around and much more in demand than clarinets.

I think you can’t really predict and as long as she’s the one pushing for activities, she’ll figure it out. She might change several times.

By secondary, or even just before, most activities seem to end up being multiple times a week so you have to drop other things. That’s when lots of my friends had to support their kids in making the choices.

My daughter is a dancer - started baby ballet at 3 and now does dance 12+ hours a week at 13. She never really wavered though - tried a few different kinds, tried gymnastics but it’s always been ballet for her. Shes autistic and struggles socially so the dance team has been great for her.

I would usually say it’s worth trying a team sport, trying something artsy, trying a performance thing and trying an individual sport. My son is 10 this week and is very, very into taekwando and park run - both are great in my opinion as boys and girls participate. He dropped football this year and I don’t miss it! Intensely competitive parents and way too much drama.