Positive experiences of pregnancy and birth at 39 with a third child

[Nocommentisacomment]

I’m 38 now and we’re planning our third baby (dd is 4 and ds is 22 months). I’m curious about others’ experiences of being pregnant and giving birth at 39.

I found the transition from 1 to 2 quite easy: the fact that both of my children are good sleepers definitely helped a lot.
We’re in a good place financially: we have a 4-bedroom house fully paid off and a 7-seater car, so we wouldn’t need to buy anything new. We also already have decent savings set aside for the children (college fund / future house deposit), so that side of things feels secure too.

I also have a part-time job which I love, so I’d still have time to spend with the kids, which feels like a really good balance for me.
I don’t feel like I’m “missing out” on anything at this stage: I’ve done the travelling and partying, and honestly the only place I want to be now is at home surrounded by my kids.

So we are definitely going for it. I’d just really love to hear some positive experiences of pregnancy at 38/39 and birth stories too. Both of my previous births were uncomplicated, but for some reason I feel quite anxious about giving birth this time.

I can’t share any experience on going from two to three as I only have two, but I did have my second at 39 and it was fantastic! The only slight problem was that my first had only recently started walking (mine are 19 months apart) so he still needed some lifting and carrying which caused a lot of strain on my pelvis and back, but the pregnancy itself was absolutely fine, no sickness, no tiredness, I was at a trampoline park with my toddler a month before my second was born! Similarly the delivery itself was much easier, I had a home birth and my little girl arrived before the midwives so the labour was pretty quick and I did it relatively easily on two paracetamol. Wishing you lots of luck, I’d love a third but my partner would have a breakdown 😅

It had my 4th at 39. It was fine, very similar to the other 3.

I had my 3rd at 39. It was mainly fine!

Biggest issue for me was the 3rd pregnancy was physically very tough, had terrible back and separated pelvis which started around 15 weeks. Struggled to walk but the end. But once she was here it was fine!

Not quite the same, but I had my third at 37. Pregnancy was much the same as the first two (born when I was 33 and 35). The newborn bit was the best of the lot as nothing could phase me! I’m hoping to have a fourth - ideally at 39!

You’ll be absolutely fine!

I gave birth to my first at late 39. My DH announced three months later that he wanted a career change, so I had to go back to work full time when our son was six months old. It was a new job as my old one was a contract, but it was in my dream company, so I just got on with it.

After an ectopic and a miscarriage, I gave birth to my second at almost 43 years old, and was back at work, part-time, after six months. I have incredibly positive memories of that time - quite hard work but so happy!

Thank you. That’s really great to hear.

I’m mostly anxious about the stress it will put on my body (I’m healthy as far as I know).
I know giving birth at 39 is very normal today, but I can’t help worrying about my age.

Also, every time I mention wanting a third, people seem shocked. Like, I already have a boy and a girl, why would I want another one? As if it’s strange to genuinely enjoy being a parent...

Weirdly I always felt like a third child “completed a family”, maybe because I was one of three. I have a boy and a girl too and I would love a third as well but I compromised on two a long time ago so I’ve come to terms with it now. Plus I always think at least there’s still room in the back for the dog 😅 Similarly to you though I love being a parent, my partner had a mild heart attack the other night when we were watching a documentary on Netflix and I announced that I “just want to adopt allllllll the children” 😂

I had dc2 when I was almost 39. I found the pg and birth very easy, I've never had morning sickness with any of my pregnancies and have always been able to stay very active and fit right up until the birth. I had an elcs and that went very smoothly. It had a longer recovery time but my DH had 4 months off for paternity so he was always around to help. I never felt sleep deprived as I have low sleep needs (I generally sleep 5-6 hours a night out of choice now dcs are older).

I was able to spring back into shape and get back to my usual fitness routines quickly (and also did so with dc3 who I had aged 42). I breastfed without any need for consultants or classes and continued until she was 3.5 years.

I think the idea of wanting a third is quite alien to a lot of people, and they can’t quite imagine why anyone would want that. But you don’t owe them an explanation!

I also already had a boy and girl before going on to have a third. The difference in response to a third pregnancy compared to the first or second is quite stark, to the point that I tried to avoid telling people. I think I get told I’m mad/have my hands full by strangers most days. In fact, this evening, I took all of them for a drink at a cafe after the big one finished school and a woman asked me if they were all mine, and then told me I deserve a medal or a psychiatrist. 😂

I think mainly people mean well though and are just curious. I’m very conscious (probably even more than I was with two) that they behave brilliantly and have nice manners, partly because I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve got more children than I can handle.

I really didn't realise this was a thing until my friend, who has three children, told me they kept getting similar responses to the ones you've experienced.

I also mentioned to my parents that we're planning a third, and they kept telling me I was crazy, too old, and asking why I wasn't just happy with what I already have. I knew the response would be different, but I didn't expect that level of negativity. If it happens (and I really hope it will), I definitely won't tell anyone until it's very obvious that I'm pregnant.

I understand what you mean about behaviour. My children are very well behaved; I am a strict parent and also work in education, so after spending all day dealing with poorly behaved children, I don't want to deal with that at home as well.
I'm not worried that we won't be able to handle it. My husband is an amazing father, and we're a very good team.