Anyone else unsure about this KS2 PSHE sex education video?

[exhaustDAD]

I am having mixed feelings about the PSHE KS2 sex ed video our children will be shown soon. https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/class-clips-video/articles/zhtnydm

It is absolutely necessary to have kids know things, understand the reality of things - we already went through one milestone, and in our home we had talks to address questions, explain things properly. What we wanted to avoid is them learning nonsense they hear at school from each other, especially from kids who have older siblings or have unlimited access to internet.

This video I feel is a bit much, it's like someone put it together who had way too much fun with magic mushrooms, and I am not a fan of my kids being subject to it in this shape and form.

My wife and I are doing our best to keep screen time for our kids, device use at a manageable level, they have some controlled, limited time they can spend on their tablets, they play some games with each other - we are not overly strict, but we keep an eye on it at the same time to make sure there's nothing we could've nipped in the bud. You know what I mean, no inappropriate content, avoiding them as much as possible. Obviously, we have no control over how other parents are raising their own kids, unlimited device use, not controlled, social media, etc. Our children have no access to social media, have no phones, etc. We will get there, but our oldest is 11, there is no real need for these things just yet in our home.

What I am trying to get at is that they are still kids, they play and have cuddly toys and write a letter to the tooth fairy. I don't know if "wet dreams" and "sexting" are things the school should be explaining to them just yet... If anything it will just give ideas to kids, rather than being informative.

We are no prudes, my wife and I, we have a healthy sex life and as I said above, we do think kids should be explained things, but I really feel unsure about the value of the above video..

Is there anyone around who are in the same shoes - their kids are about to be shown this? How do you feel about it?

Well firstly, it lost me at ‘I was made when my parents had sex!’ because someone close to me was created via donor sperm and egg in a lab.

The government guidance for schools specifies that children should be taught about healthy and unsafe relationships both online and offline. See attached pictures.
School should have a policy for sex education and some sort of engagement with parents on the content of what is taught. Have you been given the opportunity to ask questions about their curriculum? You also have the right to withdraw your child from sex education (apart from what is covered around conception in the year 6 science curriculum).

I don’t think there is anything wrong with teaching about wet dreams or periods to child in upper primary - don’t you want your children to be informed about the changes their bodies will go through?

what age are your children @exhaustDAD

Thanks for the input @exhaustDAD , that is the exact reason why I mentioned twice that I believe they should learn about things. It's just the way the video was assembled that raises questions in me. That seems off-piste a bit.

The eldest is 11-years-old.

Maybe they didn't make the video?

You can pull your children out of these classes. All five of my kids were sent to a different class during these lessons.

Maybe watch beyond the first twenty seconds of the video then?

If children are being taught about sex education, the full facts and open-mindedness that not everyone has fully functioning bodies need to be considered 👍🏼 It’s a basic.

My child’s school successfully managed it without any intervention or guidance. It’s not hard! No pun intended. It only involves one extra sentence.

A tween can lose concentration, giggle, faff in a video like this, my child reported to me that the entire class did and their video wasn’t repeated. As such, the students only viewed - realistically - the initial first 30 seconds or so, just like I did….which is my entire point.

So like I said, one sentence among that initial sentence could have been so much more meaningful and beneficial in educating.

It’s so silly to criticise a video for not including something when you clearly didn’t watch it all. It includes IVF, and more than just one sentence on it.

I must say, the wet dream aspect made me feel a little bit uncomfortable as a mother of a girl, but I'd never pull her out of the lesson because:

1. I'd hate for her to be less informed than her peers
2. I'd hate for her to be informed on what she missed by her peers, which might not be wholly factual or correct
3. I wouldn't want her to feel like this was a forbidden topic and to be afraid of speaking to me about it or ask me questions

I also strongly believe that boys should learn about periods to avoide being misinformed or disgusted by things they hear about it.

What exactly your problem with it? Is it just the style of it or is it the content?

Yes I can’t say it’s easy to teach these lessons to my class but it’s required. We have to be factual and impartial. We give time for questions - some of which we won’t answer (if they are off topic or a safeguarding concern).
Boys and girls are taught the exact same curriculum in my school but in sex-separated groups so they feel more comfortable asking questions etc.
At the end of the day, no matter how squeamish we feel about ‘grown up topics’ - for children it’s just knowledge about their bodies which helps them understand the changes they will go through.

So you think sex ed (and presumably all other subjects) should be taught in 30 second lessons because kids lose concentration?

What you actually mean is ‘Oops I didn’t watch more than 30 seconds and assumed IVF conception wasn’t covered - my bad.’

I agree with all 3 of your points.

Hard to put my finger on it, I feel like it misses a few times when I could be more informative and less of a "spectacle". Not sure if it makes sense. The style is a bit off, too, but that on its own is unimportant.

They need to know about periods and wet dreams by age 11 because they will start experiencing them very soon (some might already be there). You can’t really keep those secret until they reach the age of consent!

To reiterate: I am not talking about holding back information, at all. I believe in educating our kids as effectively as possible. It is the way the video was put together that I am questioning. I don't think it does it effectively.

I guess it needs to be done in a way to engage 11 year olds. And that might mean presenting it as a bit of a ‘spectacle’ as you put it.

It would take a lot for me to pull my child out of a class like this. They deserve to be as informed as their peers.

I really don’t think it’s damaging in any way. I kind of see it as a right of passage to have these embarrassing sessions at school.

What is going on here?

Hmm..maybe not damaging... That's a tad too far. I wouldn't pull out my kids from this. But, I think there is a type of engaging that is not really helping. It should be engaging, but not in exchange for informative value. Oh well, I do agree when you are right when you say:
"I kind of see it as a right of passage to have these embarrassing sessions at school."
I mean, if I think back what we had, haha...

Im not going to lie, I didn’t get far through it due to cringe factor. And I’m sat by myself!

Perhaps you should raise your concerns with the school? You could suggest some higher quality resources they could use to teach the lessons?
We follow a scheme which provides animated and informative videos as part of sex Ed lessons.

Girls can have wet dreams too so it’s important for both to learn about

I thought it was brilliant.

Nobody said they shouldn't. Just like how boys should understand periods.