Advice on abusive ex, unreliable contact and child maintenance concerns

[LAM26]

I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and can let me know if there is anything I can do.
My ex and I separated 2 and a half years ago, the divorce was finalised in December last year. We have 2 children, 11 and 7. He only sees them for a few hours on a Sunday but regularly cancels. He refuses to give me anymore than £100 a month total. But some months I get nothing. He gets drunk and sends me the most horrible text messages calling me awful names. He’s fixated on my love life and new boyfriend but I currently have neither. Today, it was arranged that he would pick the children up at 1pm but when I started receiving the usual abusive text messages from him at around 10.30am it was obvious he was drunk so arrangements went out of the window. His messages are relentless. He has been arrested in the past for harassment and stalking and a do not contact order was put in place but the CPS decided to drop the case. This has happened twice. I work but have so much to pay out for I feel like I’m drowning. I asked him recently to pay for half of my daughter’s school trip and football for my son. But then I receive texts from him calling me a greedy bitch. He is on benefits and I think PIP so I don’t think I am entitled to anything from him financially. I am physically,
mentally and emotionally exhausted because I am trying to provide everything and do everything for the children single handedly and also work to financially support us. Today I blocked him because of the messages but he then sent my daughter a text (she recently got my old phone for her birthday) saying “tell your mum to f**k off.” He then went on to tell her he pays for everything. I just don’t know what to do anymore or where to turn. Can anyone offer any advice please?

Yeah I'd be keeping my kids well away from him, the abusive shit.

let him go to court for access.

This is very difficult.

Start with CMS re payment.

Do not bad mouth him to your children, but dont lie either. "Im afraid dad isnt telling the truth" "im sorry dad wont be here today." "Dad shouldnt be sending you those messages. He is angry because I am not doing what he wants but he shouldnt be taking it out on you or me."

Start planning yiur life based in the assumption he wont be there or reliable. So dont take him into consideration in your plans.

Set your boundaries and stick to them. Importantly, this only works if you understand that its not about expecting him to respect them. Rather, its about what you will do when he does certain things. Eg make it clear you will only respond to messages to do with specifics of dc. Everything else will be ignored. If he doesn't turn up for contact at the agreed time you will not make dc available at dofferent times. If he sends inappropriate messages to your dc, you will be honest with them/encourage them to block him or whatever.

Yes, thank you. This is very much how I handle things with the children. I never speak badly of him but now just tell them the truth, that he had cancelled etc.
I have been told, that because he is on benefits, I will get around £7.50 a week. I’ve also tried to reason with him that his children are going without. He has also told me he’s recently bought a house with his mother due to some inheritance but I doubt any of it will be in his name.