Is 3 months after a separation too soon to introduce someone new?

[Saragreen1983]

Hello everyone,
Just thought I'd put this on here to get people's opinions.
Me and my ex have been separated now for 3 months and we both know we have been seeing others and just having some drinks with people.
Now my ex has already introduced a new person into our kids lives on multiple occasions and this has really upset me as I think it's way too soon but if I say anything they will just go off at me saying it's not up to me what they do.
I know it has affected my kids but they don't want to seem to listen.

What can I do?

Yes it’s way too soon and can be damaging. They need a good few years of stability after a big upheaval like they’ve gone through. Nothing you can really do though, just make sure you don’t do the same and try and give them as much stability and certainty as you can whilst they’re with you.

Yes way too early. I’m guessing he’s someone who can’t be alone for 5 minutes.

Yes way too soon!

My husband did it in 3 weeks!! Which suggests he’d been seeing her for a lot longer!!

My parents split up when I was 10 and DSis was 7. They both dated and we met many of their dates. There was no suggestion that these dates would become step-parents and we knew that we were our parents' priority.

I know the received wisdom on MN is not to introduce new people but I haven't encountered this elsewhere. Post-split, there is never going to be 'stability'.

I think, longer term, not introducing 'friends' it makes problems b/c DCs are then surprised to learn that their parent has a special friend whom they've never met. I think that is ultimately more damaging - the implication that your parent has been sneaking around behind your back and filling up their life with someone you've never met. (In fact, there was a thread about this a week or so ago - the DC were angry and upset to learn that the parent had an established but undisclosed relationship; they felt cheated.)

Yes of course it's too soon. No, there's nothing you can do about it, unfortunately.