Small DS 7 and questions about his height

[Postpartumhelp]

Does anyone have any suggestions as to (a) make DS confident about his height and (b) how I can make him eat more??

My DS is the smallest child in his class despite being autumn born. He was 75th centile in weight when born but dropped down to 9th when a baby and I don't think he even tracks the 9th now. He wears M&S 3/4 years trousers. I've spoken to GP about his growth before and have been told he's fine.

This morning DS asked why he was so small and whether he would be a small adult too because he doesn't want to be small. I think a lot of kids in his class must keep commenting on it.

I was positive/upbeat about it and said he would probably be DH's height and not to worry about it, it would all work out etc. DH and I are average heights (5'9 and 5'6) so I expect he'll grow to be around DH's height

The thing is, he never eats very much and he puts on weight incredibly slowly. He's always "too busy" to sit down and eat and always jumps up from the table to run around and fiddle with something. Getting him to sit and eat is very hard work. When we do get him to do it, he takes a few bites and says he is full.

We try everything to get him to sit down for the full meal but it's like he can't help himself. we provide good meals and also provide calorific meals to get him to put on weight. A typical day is usually - cereal/porridge and fruit, or a fried egg sandwich for breakfast, lunch is at school or omelette at home, after school snack is peanut butter sandwich, dinner is usually something like salmon and rice and veg, chicken fajitas, spaghetti bol, burgers and chips and salad, roast chicken and veg etc. He'll eat a few bites and say he is done eating then say he is hungry before bed so I let him come down to have toast.

I do make an extra effort to add extra calories where I can (ground nuts in porridge for example, more oil in pasta) but he never eats a full meal. I usually never say no to treat food like McDonald's or Greggs because I know he likes them but he doesn't even finish this. I don't want to make a habit of going to these places. I gently encourage him to finish if he can but never demand it.

Any tips appreciated.

My nearly 6 year old is on 2-3 m and s trousers and 3-4 in other makes. She's 106cm (4th percentile) and under paeds and dietician for food allergies and reflux. She's barely gained any weight in the last 2 years and has dropped from from the 50th to just under the 9th percentile for weight. She is very active and does several sports a week but has a poor appetite and doesn't eat a lot so we are now having to give her prescription milkshakes to get extra calories in.

I'm from small people. I'm 5ft2, my dad is 5ft5, his sister is 4ft11 and his nan was 4ft9. My partner however is 5ft11 but was smallest in his year until puberty so hopefully there's still time for my daughter to grow.

I expect to have the same issue with my son as he's 9 months and in 3-6 months clothes!

My daughter isn't the best sleeper either, we were doing books until 7.30, audiobooks until 8 and then meditation but she was staying awake until 9.30-10. we have pushed it forward 15 minutes so we now read with her until 7.45, audio books until 8.15 and she's usually asleep by 8.45-9.

You are taller than average OP. So he will likely be taller than DH. 5’4 is average height for a woman.

Try a table top game to get him to eat. Something like a matching game. It can regulate them and make them access their hunger rather than feeling pressured or bored of eating.

No more toast before bed. The meal is served at dinner time, you should eat it to avoid being hungry and getting the more palatable food.

Our stories are all anecdotal and don’t necessarily match your DS’s situation, but hopefully the positive stories provide some hope.

My DS was born on the 9th centile and then tracked the 0.5 centile for as long as I tracked it. He was always very skinny and a lot shorter than his twin sister allll the way through primary and beyond.

He showed as underweight on the primary school weight checks.

He was pretty selective about what he’d eat. Balanced diet as a toddler/small child but by 6 ish he ate almost exclusively meat, pizza and anything sweet. He was served a balanced diet, but was perfectly happy to just eat the meat/pizza/dessert aspects of what was served and leave the rest.

He started growing at 14 and is now almost 16. He is 5’ 10” (a bit taller than me, a bit shorter than his dad), has broad shoulders, and he will eat any food he can find, even some veggies sometimes. He is showing no signs of stopping growing yet and I can’t keep up with the demand for longer school trousers (and food, he is like a locust for snacks allllll the time between large meals).

Definitely get any concerns checked medically, but if they say not to worry, try not to worry. Some kids are small and slim, and it doesn’t always mean they’ll be small and slim as adults. Genetics will play a big part, so I think you’re right to reference your height and his dad’s height.

My dd at 7 was still in size 3-4, which was baggy on her but the smallest size, she is an adult now, only just over 5’ but perfect in my eyes!

He’ll end up stunting his height and be smaller than you as an adult if he continues to refuse to eat enough. Maybe high calorie shakes? My 3 year old dd is very small but she eats so I know she’s fine.

My friend’s son was like this too. But he had a growth spurt in his teens and is 5.9 now. Hes not an exceptionally tall person but he’s not small. I would lay off the Greggs etc because it just starts bad habits. They were the same. Relieved that he ate. All he’d finish was McDonalds. His eating habits are not great.

For the dinners, I’d not clear the table but leave his meals out. I think there’s a good chance he’ll come back to them. You may find the plate is cleared.

there’s a good book by Bea Wilson, How We Learn To Eat.