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Parenting

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How much time do your teens spend on tech daily?

8 replies

OvenDoorClosed · 10/06/2026 20:24

Recreational tech I mean - phone, computer games, TV. My kids are 11-14 and probably spend about 2-3 hrs on a school day and maybe 5-6 hrs on a weekend. These are estimates as obv if they have lots of homework, or are out with friends, or we have a day out on a weekend then it’s less time.

Im just wondering if I’m allowing them to use too much?

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AutisticLass2026 · 11/06/2026 05:02

Every other day 2 hours and oldest is 16. Always been that way since age 10 so they plan there friend gaming times and family time automatic knowing when they are online and not

CeciliaMars · 11/06/2026 05:57

OvenDoorClosed · 10/06/2026 20:24

Recreational tech I mean - phone, computer games, TV. My kids are 11-14 and probably spend about 2-3 hrs on a school day and maybe 5-6 hrs on a weekend. These are estimates as obv if they have lots of homework, or are out with friends, or we have a day out on a weekend then it’s less time.

Im just wondering if I’m allowing them to use too much?

I personally think that’s WAY too much. But I don’t have teenagers yet so I’ll await getting flamed.

TheWardrobeIsThere · 11/06/2026 06:48

Mine probably had slightly less on some weeknights as they did a sport 2 nights a week but definitely more on the weekend. I never had children who had a lie in so they were up at 7am, quiet as mice and would make a lovely cup of tea for you in bed when you woke up.

They also did all chores without being asked, homework to a very high standard, had family lunches and dinners with us and everyone chatted. They also helped prepare dinner, set the table, cleared away afterwards. We played co-op board games together, cards, played musical instruments etc. We also watched films together every weekend at home and some tv shows. It is about balance.

In my opinion it does depend what they are doing whilst on tech. Ds2 is like a sponge so would spend a lot of time learning about world history, engineering and the likes. The games he played were things like Kerbal Space Program where you build a rocket to fly to space but you had to calculate payload, boosters and fuel and it is based in realistic aerodynamic and orbital physics. Ds1 learned how to play both piano and guitar from Youtube.

Both children played co-op game with each other or their mates. It is how they all talk and connect over headsets when they live a 45 minute walk away from each other. They are on opposite catchment borders for their school. They have never played Call of Duty or GTA but have played first person tactical shooter games like Valorant and Counter-Strike.

It also depends on their attitude too, what frame of mind are they in when they come off the tech? Are they okay coming off? Are they jubilant from playing? Happy even? If they are aggressive and churlish then we would ban that game for a bit but we would talk to them about how they were feeling. I filmed Ds1 getting a certain level in a game and honestly he is pure joy. There was not a lot of rage quitting or anger. When they were younger they would get upset at games not going their way but again, we talked to them about it. It also helps build resilience.

Ds1 played that game for his university. Ds2 is at uni now and also plays e-Sports for his university. They both attended top tier universities.

@CeciliaMars if all their mates are playing a co-op game where you work as a strategic team to achieve a goal and your son or daughter is the only one not allowed then they are going to feel left out. This isn't limited to the game playing but also conversations in school about the game they played, how they will work better next time. It is just a different life than we had. Homework is also online a lot too so they are researching websites for information.

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concertinacornflake · 11/06/2026 06:58

That sounds like a high number of hours for such young age.

However just discussing the number of screen hours is a bit of a red herring.

Watching a film with friends or family is completely different to doomscrolling, which is different to gaming alone on something gloomy in tone, which is different to playing something fun on the Wii with a sibling, which is different to doing homework on the computer.

So a teen could do two hours homework and watch two hours TV which would be really positive on their mood/mental health, or they could spend two hours doomscrolling plus two hours in a bad-mood gaming session, which would be really negative on their mood/mental health.

The questions to ask are: what specifically are they doing, how does it make them feel/think/act, and what else are they NOT doing with that time?

concertinacornflake · 11/06/2026 07:00

Having said all that, 5-6 hours on a weekend day does seem excessive and would be hard to see how that would be net positive.

OvenDoorClosed · 11/06/2026 07:48

Interesting, thank you

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 11/06/2026 16:28

TheWardrobeIsThere · 11/06/2026 06:48

Mine probably had slightly less on some weeknights as they did a sport 2 nights a week but definitely more on the weekend. I never had children who had a lie in so they were up at 7am, quiet as mice and would make a lovely cup of tea for you in bed when you woke up.

They also did all chores without being asked, homework to a very high standard, had family lunches and dinners with us and everyone chatted. They also helped prepare dinner, set the table, cleared away afterwards. We played co-op board games together, cards, played musical instruments etc. We also watched films together every weekend at home and some tv shows. It is about balance.

In my opinion it does depend what they are doing whilst on tech. Ds2 is like a sponge so would spend a lot of time learning about world history, engineering and the likes. The games he played were things like Kerbal Space Program where you build a rocket to fly to space but you had to calculate payload, boosters and fuel and it is based in realistic aerodynamic and orbital physics. Ds1 learned how to play both piano and guitar from Youtube.

Both children played co-op game with each other or their mates. It is how they all talk and connect over headsets when they live a 45 minute walk away from each other. They are on opposite catchment borders for their school. They have never played Call of Duty or GTA but have played first person tactical shooter games like Valorant and Counter-Strike.

It also depends on their attitude too, what frame of mind are they in when they come off the tech? Are they okay coming off? Are they jubilant from playing? Happy even? If they are aggressive and churlish then we would ban that game for a bit but we would talk to them about how they were feeling. I filmed Ds1 getting a certain level in a game and honestly he is pure joy. There was not a lot of rage quitting or anger. When they were younger they would get upset at games not going their way but again, we talked to them about it. It also helps build resilience.

Ds1 played that game for his university. Ds2 is at uni now and also plays e-Sports for his university. They both attended top tier universities.

@CeciliaMars if all their mates are playing a co-op game where you work as a strategic team to achieve a goal and your son or daughter is the only one not allowed then they are going to feel left out. This isn't limited to the game playing but also conversations in school about the game they played, how they will work better next time. It is just a different life than we had. Homework is also online a lot too so they are researching websites for information.

All their mates also doing it us not a good reason to let your kid do it.

TheWardrobeIsThere · 11/06/2026 16:51

@CeciliaMars that is what you got from my post? I didn't say all their mates were 11 and playing 18+ games and I just went fuck it play it too. They were all playing age appropriate games, the games that everyone is talking about in the playground. Mine started off on Minecraft which actually teaches them about minerals, planting crops, automatic feeding from building stuff with electrical circuits. You are thinking that all games are bad, lots teach strategy, team work and resilience. It is possible your children will be on Times Tables Rockstars at some point which is incredibly popular in primary schools. That means choosing a name and an avatar. Then you earn coins to spend on personalising your avatar. I personally do not like that aspect of it.

Maybe think about what your own children are into at the moment and ask yourself how much you control when your children are mixing in school with other children. I worked in a primary school, for girls it was all about your Smiggle water bottle, your hair clips, your hair styles, books they are reading, what tv shows they are watching and of course games they were playing online. Boys were similar, football, books, your lunch box and again tv and games. It is their currency. They are excluded from conversations not nastily but if they don't play it then when conversations turn to that they cannot join in. They are age appropriate games nothing beyond the age they should be playing.

Plus mine had an XBox to begin with then moved over to gaming computers. They have Steam accounts where games cost very little compared to a new release Xbox/Playstation game. Steam features new games coming up so they were not relying on friends finding out about games. Their accounts were locked so they couldn't buy anything without us physically buying the game online ourselves, parental controls were in place.

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