Stopping breastfeeding my 18 month old

[Megan2000]

I want to stop breastfeeding my 18 month old before he turns 2. He feeds to go to sleep for nap and bedtime. During the day I think he does it out of habit and comfort. We spend all day together as sister is at school and dad is at work. I feel like it’s so hard to stop as I know it’s his comfort but I’ve had enough now I’m proud to have exclusively breastfed him for 18 months. Do I just refuse him when he comes to me for milk? Give him his water bottle instead? And the night feeds I’d like to stop as he’s still not sleeping through and wakes 1-2 times for milk

Is it possible to have a couple of days away from him? I fed both mine for same amount of time and felt this was the only way. It's hard and upsetting for both of you to just refuse breast when DC are so used to it. Just 48 hours will make a difference.
Meantime, will they accept a bottle?

Absolutely it’s possible.
Tell him no more, but we can cuddle instead. Introduce age appropriate ways of enjoying time together, hugs, stories, toys, games. Be firm and get him to choose a big boy cup to drink from.

With DC1, I stopped at 18 months. I went away for the weekend, DH gave him water in a sippy cup for night wake ups and that was that. He was weaned.

It was a LOT less drama than I was expecting.

Could you crack the night weaning first? That way he should start to eat more in the day.

I’d start with this might weaning method from Dr Jay Gordon.

Once you’ve got the night feeds cracked and he’s had a couple of weeks to get used to it, then you can tackle either the one before bed or the one before his nap.

For bedtime i went out for a few nights and left them with DH and a cup of milk. Knowing that I wasn’t around seemed to make it so much smoother.

No my partner works full time and he never liked bottles we tried for months but he refused them

I dropped day feeds first and then when stopping night feeds made sure I was out for the evening and had my DH do bedtime.

By the second night it was fine.

We night weaned my DS who is 2 now by having DH do all the night wakings, around 19 months. I thought I wanted to stop entirely but actually, once he was sleeping through the night, BF became easyand I didn't want to lose my superpower to put him to sleep and calm him down when needed.

Each child is different. One of mine screamed for 2 weeks at night (even now at 14 she’s an example of determination!). Another was told no and that was it.

I‘d recommend going away for a weekend and hoping for the best. But stick to your guns. It may be hard!

I’ve just seen the question about bottles. Feeding a toddler is very personal but there is no way I’d be introducing a bottle at this age.

Definitely don’t introduce a bottle. I offered milk in a straw cup instead of BF during the day. I wouldn’t offer something else at night at this age - better dentally to either BF or nothing.
it really helped mine to day wean because she goes to nursery, is that an option? And night wean; I sent my partner in.

I think day weaning is easier to do first than night weaning. We tried Jay Gordon's method and it still made for a lot of crying for weeks. And I was still breastfeeding before bed and when he woke any time from 4am onwards so it was only the first part of the night I was looking to stop feeding in. Mine is a similar age to yours. I only breastfeed before bed and then once whenever he wakes between 4-6am. His sleep isn't amazing but he's sometimes sleeping through til 4 or 5am some nights now and then goes back to sleep without too much of a palaver after that breastfeed.

I don't really mind breastfeeding now since it's only twice a day and my DH could put him to bed fine with cows milk in a cup if I did want or need to be out at bedtime. That being said I think I would also like to stop before 2/before the winter and have no idea how to drop those last feeds. My instinct is that the remaining night feed should be the last one to drop, I think it will be easier to set a new bedtime routine than stop that feed when he's half asleep.

He’s going to start nursery in January so I have some time to try whatever works. I only fed him for his nap yesterday and bedtime so he had no boob from 11:30am-8pm which is a good start. But he woke up for milk at 1am then 3 am then got up at 6

Fed my son for 16 months. The way I did it was gradually, so my boobs didn’t get cross and it wasn’t too upsetting for my son.
I would night wean by getting dad to go in instead of you. He’ll likely cry about it the first night or two but then will get over it.
Then drop the day feed(s?) by offering a cup of milk instead (the tum tum straw cups are great!).
The last evening feed can be dropped gradually by alternating bed time with dad first, then when you’re ready change your feed to a cup of milk.

That was exactly my experience OP. Reducing daytime feeds only led to more night wakings.

i Don’t think you necessarily need to wean before nursery? I didn’t but mine was younger; 11 months when she started. But it meant by about 15 months it was much easier to day wean as she was used to going with BF whilst at nursery; and also it got her eating more food. I’d be looking at schedule to, capping my daughters nap at 1 hour has helped her sleep through without really needing to actively night wean

Are you co-sleeping @Megan2000? I found the night feeds naturally got less as they moved to their own rooms.

No he’s in his cot but at the end of our bed as we only have a 2 bedroom and a 6 year old daughter

I think that’s even more reason to try and crack the night weaning and get him out of your room

I did this very gradually and even though it was only a few years ago it is already a blur. I think that I started by saying no/later and distracting in the day until the normality in the day was only feeding when we woke up, before nap and then at bed. At some point I stopped feeding to sleep but instead had a short feed followed by rocking and cuddling to sleep, that was a few tough nights. I think when I did that I still fed in the night and a little while later properly night weaned, once she was used to cuddling to sleep. I then had quite a while with a morning and a before bed (but not to sleep) feed. I remember stopping the morning and going out and buying a special bowl for breakfast and having to get her up and downstairs really quickly before she started asking for milk (and distracting with the exciting bowl). I still did a quick feed at bedtime for quite a while after that and by that point she was old enough to look at books and we had a couple of books we read and had a night where we said it was the last one (and I think I let her choose a toy as a momento). From memory she asked quite a few times after that and I think did feed her a couple more times, but the she kind of accepted no.

This probably took a year as she didn't want to stop and I was pregnant and exhausted for some of it - kind of hoped it would stop naturally, but never did. I felt like baby steps were what we needed, with my other child I just stopped in about a week basically just saying no, and they didn't seem to care!

Gradually didn't work for me at all with my 20 month old daughter, she was still having at least 2 night feeds and was constantly asking for milk on her non-nursery days. I couldn't do it any more and we went cold turkey. She was upset for the first 3ish days but slept through after the first 2 nights and every night since (now 26 months). I think toddlers are really concrete and she was confused why she was allowed feed sometimes and not others, she understood what "all gone" meant and adapted surprisingly quickly. It's made such a massive difference to both of our sleep and quality of life. Good luck!