Summer holiday ideas with a reception child and demanding breastfed baby

[Comfyinslippers99]

DD1 is in reception and I am currently on maternity leave with DS1. This summer will be the only school summer holiday that we all have together without me being at work for at least some of the days. DS1 will be 3 months old and is breastfed. He likes to feed every couple of hours. I really want to make sure that DD1 has a wonderful summer holiday. What kinds of activities have others done with an older child and a needy baby? A bit ahead of time, but I’d like to have some ideas of things or get things planned..

Pretty much anything really! I have a 2 year old & a 7 month old, the beauty of a breastfed baby (for me anyway) has been that it’s easy to feed wherever we go and whatever we are going. Park, soft play, museum, cafe, theme park, plus as they get older feeds get much quicker so super easy to just distract older child with a snack for a few mins if needed to feed x

Just do lots of things were you get out for the day to explore where there is the option to sit down as needed. The beach is great for this with a non mobile baby under a parasol and dd can dig and run around. Children’s farms, NT (family membership is well worth it if there are a couple around you), just a trip to your local city or town where you can go to a cafe and a playground. I found just being out of the house but at places where it was easy for older one to play independently when I needed to sit down for feeds. Fortunately, in another month, feeds will be less frequent and it will feel more manageable.

I’d go all inclusive, short flight from local airport, short transfer other end and a hotel with fantastic children’s facilities and clubs. That way you all get the chance of a stress free proper break and older child will have a great time. MN can be a bit sneery about AI but it really does remove a lot of angst when children are small.

I'll have a 6yo, 4yo and an 6mo very clingy baby this summer. We will live at National Trust estates, most likely. We have quite a few within a 30 min drive of us. Playgrounds? CHECK. Clean toilets and changing places? CHECK. Cafe for ice creams and coffee? CHECK. Nature but also plenty of people around so I'm not alone in the woods with 3 kids? CHECK. Lots of benches randomly plonked? CHECK. Somewhere to shelter from an inevitable downpour? CHECK (usually).

Our routine will look something like this (we thrive on schedules in our house in this season of life):
AM - National Trust or into town for the museums/playgrounds, eat packed lunches then head home
MIDDLE - baby cot nap, quiet time at home for big kids
PM - Free play at home, I might set up some activities, we'll have new garden games etc but mostly just see what they want to do. Maybe arrange some playdates with friends (I suck at this)

As for bigger days out...
Theme parks aren't great when it's just you and two little ones as you can't take your child on anything with the baby usually.
Farms are usually good.
Are you near a Bewilderwood? I went recently for the first time and it was great as children can do most things themselves and if not, it's ok to carry baby with you on them.
Also have a look out for free events in your local area. Our council do loads of stuff like crafts at the library and picnics in the park (we often bump into children from school there), the wildlife trust also run events like den building, nature hunts, etc which can be fun as you can just pop baby into a carrier and sit on a log to feed as needed.

Gosh it shows how memories disappear, mine are 8 and 10 and reading the OP i was thinking ‘god knows, what did we do?!’

i forgot when we were in this stage we also lived in the trust properties! OP if you are southeast get to hever castle and live there. Great play areas for older child and you can follow round and feed wherever.

Forest or woodland, baby in carrier. Trees to climb for older child, lift logs and look at beetles. Get one of those jars to keep samples of insects. Get an app on your phone to identify plants and mushrooms. Keep a scrapbook.

Find a clean stream and paddle and look for frogs.

Zoos.

Also a focus on keeping the eldest entertained. If baby is in buggy or carrier they will get all the stimulation they need from being in new places and around an exciting sibling. As long as they are fed and dry you can pause any baby activities like sensory baby for over the summer

I'd look into an annual or summer holiday membership for fun places near you. As most things classed as museums are often free for the year. I'd meet up with friends of your dd / your own friends with children as I find it so much easier.

Can you also pop her in holiday club too, even if for half a day? We did this from reception and coordinated it with the other mums so basically for to play with school mates. Now at 9 he loves it as is always gutted if we go to collect early as gets to do an activity camp with his friends from school.

Doesn't the baby usually just slot in with the older child?!

In holidays we do all the usual stuff you might do at weekends.
At that age we would have gone to soft play, used our zoo pass for days out there, gone to the library, visited museums, beach days, park visits.

I am not sure whether you are overthinking the make it amazing part, or are worrying about managing the older child with the baby.
Get a group of friends together if needed so you have more adults around to watch if you feel you won't be as focused while breastfeeding.

Always did this when my kids were small, and even now they're grown up and I'm (much 🙈) older continued my NT membership. Also invested in a car cooling box (proper fridge type) and so wish I'd had one when they were little! Saves a lot on buying drinks, snacks etc. Thought how great it would also have been for keeping wipes cool on hot days etc. Also have a stove so I can brew up where I like lol. Definitely as you say check for facilities especially toilets and shelter 👍

I’m sure I am overthinking it, but I find my needy new addition quite challenging with DD. He’s very fussy, often crying and makes it hard to enjoy quality time with DD. He’s also a tricky sleeper so I have to actively try to get him to nap, as opposed to just popping him the pram and getting on with the day.

Don’t be harsh on yourself. You are doing a great job. I have an almost 4 year old (still at nursery 3 days a week) and a 6 month old who feeds every 2 hours and I find it really difficult on the days when I have both. I find DD1 quite difficult to entertain out and about while I feed DD2 and I mostly just do short outings like the library or local playgrounds.

If you have a garden maybe get some new outside toys so the older one can run around outside while you are dealing with the baby. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with some downtime at home at this age.

OP, it feels very hard for everyone to transition from giving all of your attention to one child to having to share it. I would argue even more so the bigger the age gap, not because it is PHYSICALLY more difficult, but because it's such a joy to be able to relax and really 'hang out' and enjoy the company of a 4/5yo; you can have lovely conversations and it's all a lot calmer than the baby/toddler days... and the juxtaposition of that to suddenly having an angsty crying baby physically on you all the time is so stark. Adding a newborn to my 2yo was physically demanding but easier emotionally, adding a newborn to my almost 4yo and 6yo was so tough (but also so much easier... ) - I hugely miss how relaxed our days out used to be when we could just wander and chat. Wouldn't change a thing, of course - but it is hard!

Ok then I would go down the friends/groups route.
Do you go to any baby groups at the moment that allow toddlers? Some will let reception aged older siblings join in so you would then have a safe space for the eldest to roam free.
Or do you have a group of friends you can do playdates with? You then have the support of others to watch over your DD while you feed the baby.