11 weeks postpartum - Baby cries constantly and I am really struggling

[ThatStressedMomma]

I am 11 weeks postpartum. My baby girl never slept good since day 1. These past couple of weeks she has been sleeping throughout the day. I have to force feed her as much as I can. She wakes up around 8 p.m and wouldn't sleep until next morning 4 or 5. She takes nap if held for 15-20 mins sometimes. Other than that she cries 90% of her wake window. She wouldn't feed properly some nights. I have exhausted all the options. She has been fully formula fed since 6-7 weeks as my milk supply is almost nothing. With the guilt of not being able to breastfeed her, I am falling into depression with barely 2 - 3 hrs of sleep every day. Even though I have my mom with me whose support is my only lifeline as my husband works away from us, I am miserable and scared. Please help!

Babies start to produce melatonin at around 12 weeks, which should help with night time sleep.

Are you managing to get outside much? Exposing her to natural light should also help with the day / night confusion.

I hope it gets easier for you soon!

Can you afford to pay a nanny to step in?
Or ask a friend or family member?

It does get better! The first months can be so exhausting.

Oh OP, I hear you. I remember that fear. This WILL pass. Sleepless nights feel they’ll never end but they do. Weeks go by and then months and then eventually everyone is getting more sleep. We can’t tell you when that will happen, but it will.

Is your Mum staying with you? Can you take turns to do ‘shifts’ so that you each get a bit of time to sleep?

Is there any reason why you can't catch up on sleep during the day?

OP, my DS had “three month colic” where he would cry from six until midnight unless I walked around holding him. I walked miles round the upstairs of our house! It seems like forever at the time, but I promise you, it will settle down and things will get better. You just have to get through this bit, OP. I’m glad you’ve got the support of your Dm - and things really will improve. Try and sleep when the baby sleeps in the day - do whatever it takes just to get through the next few weeks. Don’t expect miracles, but it really will get better.

Oh OP my son was like this and it was misery! He had colic and reflux and it was so hard. This is one of the hardest points you're in, and doing it sleep deprived is absolutely awful, i feel so much for you. Some things to look at trying:
Try switching to a comfort formula to see if that helps her settle
Try looking at how much she feeds over a 24 hours period rather than just at night - if she's getting enough during the day then that may be why she's not feeding as much at night. If you're really worried about her feeding then definitely reach out to the HV/GP.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time - some babies are really really difficult but this really does pass and baby will settle down. Don't feel guilty for formula feeding - baby is being fed and that's the most important thing, and I promise you in a few years when she's cartwheeling around a playground you won't think twice about it. Sending you really big hugs as a fellow survivor of a difficult baby!

So hard, sending a hug. It sounds like she’s reverse cycling - worth looking at Taking Cara Babies and how to tackle this bit as it’s not too tricky especially as she’s formula fed. Really hope it improves at 12 weeks xx

Sleep when baby sleeps. That's what I did. Let your mum take care of the house in the interim x

It’s so hard. Sleep when the baby sleeps is impossible when they want to be held, or they want to be moving.

it does get better and as your bottle feeding take advantage - get someone to step in and have an unbroken stretch of sleep