Struggling to bond with my constantly crying six month old

[ForOliveRoses]

My Youngest child is 6 1/2 months old and since the second she was born all she does from eyes open till close is cry. It doesn’t matter what you do, she just cries and cries and cries. She doesn’t want to be off you crawling, she doesn’t want to be on you playing or stationary. I can’t even say it’s in leaps only. It’s 24/7/365 (or however many days she’s been here lol) She slept well from 3-5 months old and now wakes up multiple times from 4am onwards. I have a son who is 3 and he has always been lovely. I feel cruel for him as he gets no time from us as we’re having to deal with the baby. I love both of my children of course, but i don’t feel the level of attachment with my daughter that i do with my son. I have never felt so depressed in my life and I am starting to feel as though I can’t do this for much longer. If I’m honest I want to grab my son and get away from it all, but I couldn’t put my fiance through that. I wouldn’t do it, but a girl can fantasise. I don’t know what’s next, and i truly fear the future as i’m 8 weeks from going back to work and i feel i’ve had no maternity leave, no bonding time. all i’ve done is cry. I fear the future because the idea of shame shhhhh different day makes my skin crawl.

Does she cry when others look after her or is it just you? My baby daughter used to be very touchy with me, rarely smiled, but perked up for other people. She was much better when I returned to work, she spent the days with a childminder - there were other children to amuse her and tire her - and I had more patience after spending the day with logical human beings.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way just remember it's not forever, please reach out to your GP for a referral ASAP.

With regards to the crying has she been checked for stomach issues/milk allergy/reflux/tongue tie? Has the crying only started since weaning? That could suggest food intolerance.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, do reach out to your gp there’s usually a service for pp mums that’s a bit quicker than getting any MH help usually and they specialise in these sorts of issues. I know you’re worrying about going back to work but it might be great, if you get a break from it you may be more ready to parent the other times. Will she be going to nursery or a childminder? Are you able to start sessions a bit earlier than you need so you get a ‘break’ or can spend some time with your ds?

I will say I do think some things like waking up are pretty normal, actually I think sleeping until 4am is a pretty decent sleeper at that age. But of course being tired and listening to crying is so difficult. Can you get some loop ear plugs to take the edge off? I assume you’ve looked into medical things for the crying - allergies and discomfort for example. When did it start, is it really 24/7 or does it just feel that way, did it start at weaning? can you find any common denominators?
she will stop crying eventually, she won’t be 6/7/8 crying 24/7 and she will learn to crawl. I always said some kids just don’t like being babies, maybe that’s your dd. I
don’t feel guilty for a lack of attachment, it’s hard to be attached to someone who can’t do much and just cries all day. Be kind to yourself, do what you have to do to get through each day for now.

oh she loves my parents, it just seems she dislikes mine and her dads presence. I work days 8-5 and my fiance works evenings 6-12/1 so we work around each other for childcare. my son does go nursery 3 days a week and i hope to get her in too as soon as she’s eligible for funding

My mum has said the same today, i’m going to get in touch with them.

The crying has been since the get go, and that’s no exaggeration. She has a lip tie but GP, midwife discharge team and HV all said they won’t do anything for her. We have swapped milks countless times to colic, lactose free etc etc and never any change. I have brought colic and reflux up to my GP (only offer online referral to then be invited in) and they sent me an NHS link on how to recognise if she has it or not. The GP we are registered to is genuinely as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Did you try dairy free formula? It tastes horrible and it's very expensive. But my DS had CMPA and he cried and cried until we went completely dairy free. It takes a few weeks for dairy to leave the system so uou have to persevere.

Have you tried an infant osteopath? They can also really help.