No lunch at school

[TowerTower]

Do some parents not feed their kids at school? My son says a lot of the kids keep asking him to buy them food and some he has said hes never seen them getting lunch ever and you might say oh maybe they are not hungry but these are the same kids that are asking him to get them food so they obviously are hungry. Is this common in secondary schools for parents to not provide their child with a lunch? I am by no means rich but surely feeding your child is a priority?

They're just hustling him. It's the less aggressive version of 'give us your dinner money' accompanied by a clenched fist.

Kids at my secondary school were always asking for money or fags (yeah I know) just because they're cheeky sods. Maybe some of their families were poor but primarily it was just to try and extract stuff for free off people. They probably had their lunch money and spent it.

Just tell him to say he can't afford to buy anything for anyone else. They can plead to the canteen if they're starving.

You should flag it as a safeguarding concern. Some might not tell the school they have no lunch for fear of getting in trouble at home.

I would think that too but he said he has never seen certain kids eat and one kid is sent in with cold chips cooked at home. Sorry but I can see why they don’t want to eat cold chips! I do think parents need to take some more responsibility here if the child won’t queue then send them in with something so they are not asking other kids for food I’d be mortified if it was my child asking for food.

Ah, but that's not what you said, is it? Don't twist things to suit your narrative.

Let the school know incase there’s an issue with parent’s ability to provide food or apply for free school meals - which means they get a certain amount on their card per day. Hopefully the kids are not being made to go hungry 😢

however there might not be an issue - DS and his friends tend to have food (packed lunch or from canteen) at morning break and not eat at lunch because they want to play football. Then they stuff themselves with food when they get home! DS says some kids do ask others to buy pizza or chips for them but he knows them well and has seen that they have food in their bag or money on their cards - they’re just chancing it!

im sure there are loads of kids who need support and good at school though so best to let the school know.

I wouldn’t mind them not eating if they weren’t asking for his food. He said it’s pretty much daily.

Surely the easiest thing would be for your ds to ask why they don’t buy lunch? He knows the kids, we don’t.

Here in Australia we don't have free lunches the government say that you get your Benefit s and it's up to parents to use it to buy lunch

Well tell the school the names of the kids that are doing it and ask them to tell them to stop as it’s putting your child under a bit of pressure

Maybe they’re spending it all on day 1 and leaving nothing for the rest of the week? Or they’re expected to make themselves a packed lunch and don’t bother?

It isn’t a legal requirement to be at school? It’s a legal requirement for a child to receive an education, but that doesn’t have to be in school. You can deregister them at any time.

Same here. I make my DSD (15) lunch but tbh it's muchly only due to the fact that I am also making the 2 younger ones packed lunches to. Many of DSD friends also take no lunch, not sure if they have money on their prepay cards at School to buy should they wish. Teenagers are damn lazy and I expect if I didn't make my DSD she would go hungry.

Raise your concerns with the school. Mumsnet cannot do anything.

The system is crap. You put an amount in the dinner money account and your kids can spend it on all sorts of rubbish snacks from the canteen at break and lunch. Then they have no money left for actual dinners.
I do a decent packed lunch, which is indeed mostly eaten at breaktime. Lunch isn't until 1.30pm and only 35 minutes to minimise fighting time. 😬🫣

I had a mate at school whose mum didn’t give her lunch or money. My mum used to pack an extra sando, juice, and some crisps for her. Her mum was very neglectful and she pretty much ended up living in our house. It’s different because she was my mate and she never really asked for food or asked me to buy her lunch. They probably don’t have food but also see your son as an easy target.

Not sure if its relevant but my 2 kids are at secondary school, they have money on parentpay to get lunch but sometimes they say the line is so big they don't have chance to get lunch depending when they get into the lunch hall.

It could be a few things as if these are children that get FSM they may have to buy specific lunch items and may not want those. Or they are spending their lunch money at break time and not getting a proper meal. Or, what is happening more and more, families that earn to much to qualify for FSM but are still low earners and are struggling. Let the form tutor or HOY know what’s been happening.

Yes exactly.

"Bob, I've noticed you never bring your own lunch. Why is that mate?"

Yes, I remember now that one of mine would eat at breaktime and I could log in and see that he ate then instead of lunchtime.

Especially on days where he played rugby because it made lunch all a bit of a rush.

All secondary school canteens are cash free now so parents load up their kids fobs online and the canteens can't accept cash....this is a tricky situation as some kids will try their luck with 'buy us a sausage roll mate', then you have the ones who are a concern.

At my secondary school the canteen will sometimes allow kids to go 'over drawn' but I know there are some who are flagged to the safeguarding team.

We have had kids go through the bins/ask other students if they have any packed lunch they don't want etc..

Our pupil premium lead notes that there are other signs of neglect with kids who are not on FSM/come to school with no food or access to food.
If you are concerned for these kids, maybe try and get their names off your son and pass to the DSL at the school.....it may be a concern or not.

When I was 13/14 there was a girl in my friendship group whose parents didn’t send her in with a packed lunch or money. Nothing to do with neglect, her parents had good jobs (Dad a policeman, Mum a teacher) but she had two older twin sisters at University so they’d tell her the household budget couldn’t stretch to cover lunches for her as they were helping them out.
Sadly, she used to literally snatch food off the rest of us at lunch e.g. I’d have sandwiches cut into four and she’d take one, she’d reach over and take gulps from someone’s can of drink, she’d take a handful of crisps from someone else.
She was a bit of a bully so we just put up with it, I really wanted to tell a teacher but thought if I did and she found out it was me it would only get worse (she was a bully in other ways too, I didn’t want to make myself more of a target)
Thankfully she started hanging out with a different crowd from when we were about 15 but I wish I’d told my Mum and she could have raised it with my school.

Here as a ex lunch supervisor at a secondary school.there are quite a few kids who don’t have free school lunches.they always asked other kids who had lunch for food.some spent their dinner money at the shop beforehand,but others genuinely had nothing and were really hungry,and it was the same kids I used to see day in day out,and I always reported it, so pastoral could check with home.i once brought doughnuts in when my son was there,for him and friends and gave them out purposely to the kids who were always hungry.

If this is secondary school, there's a high chance that the parents of these kids expect them to make their own lunches but through laziness/disorganisation, they're not doing it and then looking for a solution when hungry in school.
I packed my own lunch for school by secondary.

Maybe. Or they’re spending it on crap on the way to school and then hungry at lunch. Maybe notify the school.

Or the adults that conceived them could pay for them ?