Reception son repeatedly hurt by rough friend, what should I / school do?

[BorkaGoose]

My son (Reception) has had ongoing issues with a boy at school (let’s call him Roy) who is very rough and has previously hurt him. Today I was told Roy and another child pushed him over and punched, kicked and pulled his hair during a game.

The school have been aware of their dynamic for a while and have tried to separate them when needed. They won’t / can’t just keep them entirely apart as it isn’t a straightforward bully/victim situation. They are friends of a sort, but the friendship is definitely a toxic one. Roy is exciting and competitive, so my son does sometimes want to play with him and I know they tease and wind each other up but Roy takes things far too far and my son has come home with several injuries in the past. Roy has form for hitting other kids too. My son has only hurt Roy once to the school’s knowledge - he gave him a swipe, and Roy hit him in return - but he took his telling off really seriously and has never done so again.

School described today’s incident as “not malicious, something that got out of hand” but still very serious and Roy and the other boy’s parents are being told and consequences are being given.

I’m quite shocked by the level of violence for 5 year olds. My son said he was kicked so hard he felt sick.

I want my son to be safe and happy but Roy seems like an impediment to that.

Maybe I am overreacting though and this is not that unusual?

I’d appreciate some advice from parents or teachers on what more I should be asking or expecting the school to do.

The school are minimising and gaslighting you.

They won’t / can’t just keep them entirely apart Demand this. The school are legally required to keep your child safe.

it isn’t a straightforward bully/victim situation. Yes, it is. One child is violently attacking another child.

Maybe I am overreacting though and this is not that unusual? You are under reacting. It is completely unacceptable.

Read the school's bullying policy and complaints policy.
Raise a formal complaint as per the policy - complain that the school has failed to protect your child from repeated violent attacks and list exactly what happened today. Take photos of any injuries.
Say you want an urgent meeting to discuss what steps the school will take to ensure this can never happen again.

And start looking for another school, for if/when it happens again.

To add I think the school aren’t separating them entirely because…

a) they physically can’t, the kids all play out in the playground at lunch and breaks, and the classroom is also very free flow as it’s reception

b) so far their policy of keeping a close eye, and splitting them up if they are getting into a cycle of teasing has worked. We’ve had a few months with no incidents, and both my son and the other boy have made stronger friendships with others.

c) they are “friends” and my son does sometimes seek this boy out.

After this incident though … I don’t know. I guess if this is it starting back up they will have to do something more extreme, but I don’t know what.

ideally I want this kid in another class, but that isn’t going to happen

They can separate them or supervise the child who gets violent all the time.

Your son needs you to demand his legal right to safety. This was not a little shove.