Furious about my child’s dad decisions!

[sodoffbeforemycupofcoff]

It was school holidays just gone and not a single day did my child’s father sort out arrangements for them. Their dad is self employed which is used as the excuse for never having DC on sick days/holidays. he has never sorted out the school holidays. I have just found out that this upcoming week him and his partner are jetting off for a holiday all week. But couldn’t arrange one day for DC in the holidays?!

I didn’t say anything because am I surprised? No.

When he is with my DC he is great with them and they love seeing him. However when it comes down to hospital appointments, dr appointments, dentist etc it’s a no go. I’m really upset and angry.

I know my DC look at me as a moaning mother and dad as the fun one but look at the whole picture, my life has been sacrificed not his (which I of course would always do in a heart beat for my DC but it’s frustrating when he does not help with the important things and is only around for the fun!)

Op do you have an agreement in place ie x amount of days per week etc?

I think you need to go to a solicitor and discuss

access

school holidays - who does which eg 3 weeks each in summer, Easter 1 week each, one does Oct half term one does Feb etc etc

Christmas arrangements

sickness arrangements- my friend has an arrangement with her ex if school phone Monday, Tuesday, wednesday am then Wednesday pm, Thursday, Friday the dad does that

maintenance and activities

medical appointments

hobbies & payments for these and equipment

you need a formal agreement on all this. No ifs, buts, maybe’s!

Even with a court order he can't be forced to do any of that though, it's not worth the time, effort or cost to make even an initial enquiry with a solicitor. Sorry op, this is a very shit situation that I am all too familiar with. In 17 years my ex has only taken the kids away on holiday twice, both times for less than a week. No other school hols apart from Christmas when he can be Disney dad and show off to his family and friends with FB posts about 'family Christmas memories' and such shite

Let him know how you feel, the kids when they're old enough will work it out, I promise. #solidarity

If he doesn’t want to do it then any arrangement is pointless.

My ex, because he is a controlling prick, went to family court and ended up with an order saying he had EOW Friday school pick up to Monday school drop off, every other Wednesday on the non weekend week, the first half of all school holidays, every Father’s Day, his birthday, alternative years having the kids on their bother and alternative Christmases.

He picked them up from school twice. Never had them for Christmas. Never had them more than two nights. When I went back to court three years later for an adjustment he’d seen the children 16 times. In total.

I’m sorry people have had such awful situations to deal with

you’re all doing a great job by your kids and this will be apparent to them as they get older and realise how useless their fathers are

solidarity and strength to you all x