Is it normal to consider divorce during breastfeeding and early parenting?

[Mistytreees]

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Thought of divorce when you have a new baby are really common, even if It’s not your first.
The fatigue, loss of intimacy, resentment over who is doing more and who is more exhausted, the stress on finances etc etc…..it all adds up.
Whatever you decide is okay, but things may improve a few months down the line, the early days really are a roller coaster!

Yes. And in the first 4 years !

Sleep deprivation brings out the worst in both of you.

Are you trying to work without childcare for the baby?

Oh yes entirely - I can remember in the wee small hours planning how I would run away to sea!

Its very tough in the early period, exhausting and frustrating and you are still recovering from a a massive physical upheaval even if it all goes smoothly.

It does get better - honestly.

Oh yes! I think some of it is hormones and tiredness, but I think a big part is that a baby brings a whole new set of responsibilities into your dynamic and so many couples (myself and included) don't consciously renegotiate how the household/family responsibilities should be shared. In many cases, the new mother absorbs most of he new responsibilities and the father’s life continues relatively unchanged, which then builds resentment.

All is not lost though, my husband and I did eventually iron out a new dynamic and by the time baby number two came, we were working as a team and I was no longer daydreaming about leaving him!

You can get the ick for your husband and hate the thought of being touched by him .
I think that's because you feel your body belongs to your baby .

The loss of intimacy / and being together is very hard! We were SO close before having a baby and now we feel like roommates because we’re taking it in turns with holding baby etc. does it get better?

It depends whether your husband is a supportive man who steps up while you are exhausted by breastfeeding, and generally believes that all responsibilities should be shared equally.

Or if, like so many men, he believes that his life shouldn't change as much as yours now you've had a baby and is happy to exploit you.

Thank you <3 I needed to hear this