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Parenting

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Have I done the right thing?

2 replies

Lifeasitis91 · 05/06/2026 15:28

Read through my previous posts to get an overview of you like, it may help you decide if I have done the right thing, even though the professionals involved with my daughter believe so.

I have now paused contact with my ex, my DD is soon to be 9 she's not long diagnosed with ADHD and he dad has been inconsistent (with a 2 month absence, his choice) when startinh contact again I was told to go through a unsupervised contact centre due to emotional harm (he wishing me dead in front of her several times) and other factors. We done one session in April, an hour in he called and said he was bored, and apparently so was she.
I have him another chance and warned if he was to do it again (disappear, or tell her he's coming then not turn up) then it's back to the contact center. He seemed to understand the Situation after I told him she had been reffered for therapy as the school and I were concerned with her behaviours and what we think is selective mutuism (she won't speak about dad)

Low and behold, he let her down again on Sunday, he opted to have a day out with his gf and her children, but told me he had no money to come and see his child as planned (he was seen out with them)
Since I've told him contact is paused this week, I've not heard from him and I know he will mess about with paying for his DD I'm mentally prepared for that.
The therapist said whilst he's still doing the harmful behaviors, it's like trying to fill a bucket with holes!
I feel so guilty but I know he is destroying her and now I feel like the "bad guy"
I suppose I'm just ranting but I just wanted an outsiders opinion

OP posts:
Lifeasitis91 · 05/06/2026 18:29

bump

OP posts:
Endofyear · 05/06/2026 21:27

Why do you feel guilty? He's not prioritising his daughter and you are protecting her from harm. If he really wanted a relationship with his child, he'd make the effort to be there when he's supposed to be!

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