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Original poster

How do parents of multiple children manage to get enough sleep?!

29 replies

Anon501178 · Today 13:50

I have 3 wonderful children (9, 4, 2wks)
Newborn is as expected very wakeful at night and I am struggling to find a way to get enough sleep.

When DH was on paternity leave he was getting up with baby and our older kids in the mornings so that I could get some more sleep.When things were really tough and baby was up literally most of the night (first few nights) we shared the feeding abit as baby is combination fed.
However he is back at work now (went back afew days ago) and he works outside the home 30mins drive each way and has a physical job, so needs to be getting a relatively okay amount of sleep.
He leaves the house at 7.30 and has to get ready first from 7ish, so can't do alot first thing.Our daughters are usually asleep until I wake them 7.30ish anyway.Baby has been sleeping til around then too but will do stretches ranging from 1-3 hours and is sometimes up for awhile inbetween (could be 30mins, could be 2hrs on a bad night)
We agreed DH would take baby late evening (giving him a bottle of formula and once settled watch him downstairs until he comes upto bed at 10.30/11 time for me to get a head start sleeping) but it's not working out very well as both our daughters have late bedtimes plus our youngest is 4 and needs alot of assistance to settle, so obviously he can't juggle that and seeing to baby, so until she is asleep I can't go to bed, and then once i've had a shower etc and actually got ready for bed the time just goes and sometimes baby wakes again and wants the comfort of breastfeeding.

I am getting an hour or two 11ish-1ish then usually 2-3 hours 2ish-5ish, then maybe another hour between then and when I have to get up to get the girls ready for school.
It is averaging about 5hrs of broken sleep a night which isn't sustainable if I want to drive further/do more than just going to school runs or into town, plus just generally manage day to day without feeling knackered.
DH is home weekends so that will be fine as I can have a lie-in, it's just the weekdays when I have to get up for the school run/routine.

I am wondering what everyone else does who has multiple children and a DH who works out the home so needs at least 6/7hrs sleep too....when we had our middle child, our eldest was already at school so I could at least get some sort of opportunity each day to catch up on sleep.
I have always tried to follow the 'sleep when baby sleeps' rule as much as i can, but with multiple children it's not often that simple- youngest is home with me 2x days a week and i have school and nursery run times to work around.

Also baby does not always sleep much in the day, for example today i've been home just me and him 10am til now, but he has literally only had a couple of half an hour slots (so i managed 20mins sleep but that's it!)
Have tried a dummy as think he likes comfort sucking, but he tends to keep spitting it out/dropping it.

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Bisconny · Today 21:47

Only two children here but close in age. DH did a lot of driving and I didn't want the extra worry of him driving while over tired. He did more at weekends and was an early riser as well.
You are going to bed quite late. I managed by going much, much earlier with the baby in with me. DH had the toddler in with him in another bedroom.

abbynabby23 · Today 22:08

Anon501178 · Today 13:50

I have 3 wonderful children (9, 4, 2wks)
Newborn is as expected very wakeful at night and I am struggling to find a way to get enough sleep.

When DH was on paternity leave he was getting up with baby and our older kids in the mornings so that I could get some more sleep.When things were really tough and baby was up literally most of the night (first few nights) we shared the feeding abit as baby is combination fed.
However he is back at work now (went back afew days ago) and he works outside the home 30mins drive each way and has a physical job, so needs to be getting a relatively okay amount of sleep.
He leaves the house at 7.30 and has to get ready first from 7ish, so can't do alot first thing.Our daughters are usually asleep until I wake them 7.30ish anyway.Baby has been sleeping til around then too but will do stretches ranging from 1-3 hours and is sometimes up for awhile inbetween (could be 30mins, could be 2hrs on a bad night)
We agreed DH would take baby late evening (giving him a bottle of formula and once settled watch him downstairs until he comes upto bed at 10.30/11 time for me to get a head start sleeping) but it's not working out very well as both our daughters have late bedtimes plus our youngest is 4 and needs alot of assistance to settle, so obviously he can't juggle that and seeing to baby, so until she is asleep I can't go to bed, and then once i've had a shower etc and actually got ready for bed the time just goes and sometimes baby wakes again and wants the comfort of breastfeeding.

I am getting an hour or two 11ish-1ish then usually 2-3 hours 2ish-5ish, then maybe another hour between then and when I have to get up to get the girls ready for school.
It is averaging about 5hrs of broken sleep a night which isn't sustainable if I want to drive further/do more than just going to school runs or into town, plus just generally manage day to day without feeling knackered.
DH is home weekends so that will be fine as I can have a lie-in, it's just the weekdays when I have to get up for the school run/routine.

I am wondering what everyone else does who has multiple children and a DH who works out the home so needs at least 6/7hrs sleep too....when we had our middle child, our eldest was already at school so I could at least get some sort of opportunity each day to catch up on sleep.
I have always tried to follow the 'sleep when baby sleeps' rule as much as i can, but with multiple children it's not often that simple- youngest is home with me 2x days a week and i have school and nursery run times to work around.

Also baby does not always sleep much in the day, for example today i've been home just me and him 10am til now, but he has literally only had a couple of half an hour slots (so i managed 20mins sleep but that's it!)
Have tried a dummy as think he likes comfort sucking, but he tends to keep spitting it out/dropping it.

We have three children aged 5, 3, and 18 months. With all of them, we used formula, which really helped them sleep for longer stretches. They would usually wake just once during the night until they were about 3 months old, and after that they slept through the night. My husband and I took turns doing that one night feed, which made things much more manageable. We were also very consistent with bedtime from an early age. Our older children were always in bed by 7:30–7:45 pm, and that was pretty much non-negotiable. Every child is different, of course, but this routine worked really well for our family.

mindutopia · Today 22:16

When the babies were very little, I went to bed at like 7/8pm, baby went in sling with Dh and he did bedtime with older one. Brought baby to me for a feed about 10pm. Then brought him to me for the night at 12/1am. Go to bed way earlier! No reason to be up til 11pm with the baby. Then I got up as normal in the morning for the school run. Baby was up anyway so wasn’t like we could have a lie in. Dh did all night wake ups with older one. He took them out on weekends in between feeds, even if just for a walk or a drive around so I could sleep.

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mindutopia · Today 22:40

If Dh is away for a night, how will you get them all to bed? Whatever that is, he does that and you sleep. Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he can’t get a 4 year old to bed while carrying around a baby. You’d have to manage it. You must get them all up and dressed and fed solo in the morning. Shower as soon as he walks in the door from work. I used to literally hand all children to Dh as soon as he was home and showered (works in industry so it’s dirty). Then I’d shower and often go straight to bed. He’d feed himself and dc, get them bathed and dressed and into bed. Men really can do it too.

When our eldest was this age, Dh was working a FT office based job, commuting, setting up a business which launched when baby was about 3 months old, so he was doing web design and product development and business planning every evening after work with baby in a sling til midnight, still doing every bathtime and getting ready for bedtime while I got an extra 4 hours sleep in the evenings.

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