Aurism- Nearly three year old having frequent meltdowns, hitting and throwing

[Leabee1234]

Almost 3 year old constant melt downs / hitting / throwing

In tears daily at how bad my sons meltdowns are getting. He is triggered by any tiny thing and this can last for ages he will scream roll around hit me continously throw everything in sight even heavier items now he is stronger wont calm down amd it can happen several times everyday
He is 3 in 2 months , I think he is pre verbal he cannot properly communicate but can say hundreds of words copy anything I say does say hi bye
And if he wants something he repeats I want it i want it but doesnt say what he wants

Its the melt downs that are tipping me over the edge atm. I feel on edge in public it and we went away recently he was hitting out other kids running in to them etc throwing himself to floor screaming. Its so hard

He also is an eloper so I cannot let him out my sight foe one second and have him on reins alot as he runs off constantly

Please can anyone give any advice on the melt downs and hitting / throwing i honestly am at my wits end and am struggling its hard

And any encouragement that it will get better. I cry almost every day - I love him so much but its so hard

He's almost three - does he go to nursery or will he qualify for free hours soon? What does your health visitor say?

My daughter who is autistic was like this around 2 and half, completely non verbal and I sympathise it is so hard. No playing just throwing. Nursery really helped level her out, although she still has her moments.

Nursery introduced picture cards which helped (should have thought of it myself in hindsight!) small things at first, like a juice cup, an apple, shoes etc. They took actual photos of the objects (her actual shoes etc) so not just cartoony pictures.

She learnt to point to what she wanted and now we use it as a sort of timetable for the day, showing her whats going to happen next, worth a try for communication.

It sounds like his inability to be able to communicate his wants and needs is causing frustration. I would try a visual communication system like PECS, to allow him to say what it is he wants. Does he have any input from SALT or OT? If not, ask your GP for a referral.

Children with autism thrive in a predictable routine, supported with visual prompts so that they know what's coming next. You can make a simple visual schedule for each day with the days and times on and then use pictures to show time for breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, pack bag, go to nursery etc so he can see what the routine is.

I’m so sorry that you are struggling. All understandable and you clearly need help and support.
Have you been invited to attend NAS EarlyBird or similar post diagnostic programme? It would really help and you’d meet other parents who really understand.

If he doesn’t already attend you need to try to get him into an inclusive setting. Look on your LA SEN Local Offer or contact the EYFS SEN team.
Additional funding is available for equipment and extra support.

Professionals involved will be able to observe him there and offer strategies and advice. They can also collect evidence towards an EHCNA for an EHCP. Lots of jargon, things to learn and navigate.
You can apply for an EHCNA as a parent. Look on IPSEA.

You will be his best advocate and are an expert on how he behaves etc. He’s using behaviour as communication atm as he doesn’t have the language to tell you what’s wrong or make requests etc.

On a practical level move anything heavy that you can including toys and maybe add a beanbag he can sink into or punch. You could try a pop up laundry basket with small beanbags to throw into it.

You need to try to reframe “ won’t calm down” to can’t. You will find strategies that work. Parents then pass these on to Preschool settings or school.
I’m a retired SEN Advisory teacher (and experienced mum of an autistic daughter) and a parent once told me that a particular song calmed her son. Worked like a dream!! I’d never have worked that out. Helped so much in class and when we were out too.

His meltdowns are probably a mixture of sensory needs/ overload and frustration. If he’s not seen a specialist OT trained in Sensory Integration that would be a good idea. Look at SPD strategies.
The Out of Synch Child has Fun is a good book.
SALT should be able to help with communication strategies. Lots of free visuals available online.

Sorry this is really long. Please feel free to PM I’m happy to help.
Be kind to yourself.

Has he had is two year review with the HV team?

He goes 3 days a week as I work part time..I do find nursery helps him and they have funding to help him more also they are very good with him. He is currently with paediatrician and being assessed for autism

He goes 3 days a week as I work part time..I do find nursery helps him and they have funding to help him more also they are very good with him. He is currently with paediatrician and being assessed for autism

Yes. He has been referred and bding assessed for autism also with speech and language therapy etc