At what age did summer holiday childcare planning get easier?

[Whatsyourcakevice]

DC is 8 and I’m currently staring at my diary and trying to fill 10 weeks of summer holidays (private school) with clubs / camps / me and DH taking time off / Granny days

What age was your DC when you no longer faced this mind-boggling task?!

I do work from home BUT I have a “proper” job and do actually have to do work that requires concentration, I’m not one of these people who WFH and don’t seem to do much!

(Only child and not amazing at occupying themself!)

It got easier at secondary school age as I was happy for them to be at home alone, but I didn't want to do it every day, so we still had the complicated spreadsheet /juggling act, just with the extra option of "home alone" thrown in (although some of the "club" options removed).

By maybe 14(?) they were in bed till lunch time and then arranging their own social life, so although DH and I still took time off in school holidays so we could spend time with them/there could be an adult about some of the time, it was organised like a military exercise.

It was 8 for me, as dds could occupy themselves. I’m not sure if that’s helpful, as it does answer your title question, but doesn’t address the last line!

We always had a childminder who covered the school holidays. She only took 2 weeks to off in the summer (also a week in the Easter and October holidays). It was expensive but really reduced stress.

High school. They are old enough to stay at home / go out with friends.

The older they got the harder it has been (as they totally refused clubs). As they want help with logistics too to meet their friends / go to different venues etc.

Private school kids can live miles away - that was my issue too 🤣

15 is defo a turning point. However defo easier when they could use a club! Hope you live in a walking distance from a train station as that helps a lot so they can get to places by themselves. Defo 14/15 is when it starts to get easier.

12. That was the first summer I felt comfortable leaving DD all day.

the summer before that (ie when she was 11), we started leaving her for a few hours or half a day. But still meant organising other resources. In fact, that was probably the most difficult year because she was too old for holiday clubs so it meant favours, split AL, WFH negotiations, throwing money at her to go to cinema and bowling and lunch so she was out for a good few hours. And every other trick we could think of.

she’s now 18 and I still have all the old spreadsheets for some sort of masochistic memory.

I would say 9ish for us but ours are both late primary aged so can occupy themselves together if I'm working from home. My husband also has a very generous leave allowance so we cover 4-5 of the 6 weeks with our holidays, then do a mix of grandparents and local playscheme (free every day 10am-3pm). I make sure I schedule meetings around them being out/occupied. We also take it in turns with other parents to have playdates. It's quite common for kids to roam the streets from Year 4/5 in my area though!

I can’t believe anyone is saying 15! They could live by themselves in a year! Loosely, of the people I know, 8ish is when they can occupy themselves but you need to be around, but by 11 they’re just out with their friends, have their own phones etc, are starting to use public transport. I think if you’re still having to do anything to occupy a 14 yo, then something has gone fairly wrong.

For me it’s this year - my kids are 13 and 10. Can pretty much leave them to it other then feeding them most days! Not the best parenting brag out there but when you’re a full time worker and single parent you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do!

I think we hit the sweet spot at 6/7 when they would happily go to football camp all day every day. I can see by 11ish they might feel too old for it but not ready to be left home alone all day.

My answer was on the basis that OP said her job was full on so she would have no time to spend with her children at all.

I don't think an 8 year old should be expected to amuse themselves all day every day during school holidays, while a parent works (and many workplaces would not allow this).

@lotsofadminrubbish we specifically chose the private school that attracts local families so 90% of her friends live in same area

Yes we have train station a 10 minute walk away

@redskyAtNigh I don’t have no time to spend with DC, but I do need a couple of good chunks of intense concentration in a typical working day and DC isn’t there yet in terms of occupying themself

We are currently at age 8 transitioning between camps that are pure childcare to more hobby- based sports and arts clubs

* i don't think an 8 year old should be expected to amuse themselves all day every day during school holidays, while a parent works (and many workplaces would not allow this).*

whilst accepting that every child is different, and caveating with I’m just relaying my own experience which is what the op asked for - ‘should be expected to’ isn’t the right language. Both my girls broadly wanted to, they read, coloured, played dolls with each other etc etc Even if I had a day off and wanted to go out for the day, they would prefer to stay in the house/garden playing with their dolls, either with each other or with a friend over.

Agree, my DD is 8 next year and I think we'll be sending her to club/grandparents etc for the days we're at work for a few years yet. Certainly can't imagine leaving her to occupy herself next summer.
Like OP says if you actually have to work when you're "WFH" then I don't think you can have an 8 year old there. Unless you're happy for them to stare at a screen the entire day.

For DS about 10 if I'm wfh, but I wouldn't have wanted to every day or have him alone all day. At 14 now he'd be fine with the latter (not needed as wfh), but would spend all day gaming. He does a couple of sports clubs to break up the holidays, he can get himself to them which is a total game changer. He's not yet going out with friends, but his school has an unusually big catchment so a lot of them aren't particularly local or easy to get to by public transport.
However DD is now 10, and is no way ready to be left alone (she does have SEN). Well actually she would probably be alright alone for a short period, but I cannot trust her not to argue/fight with her brother. Given the above and that my work doesn't allow us to care for primary age children while working I'll need childcare for a couple of years yet. No idea what I'll do if she still needs it once she ages out of the few clubs she's willing to do and are willing to have her.

I think your issue is "broadly wanted to". What if they don't want to? If you're wfh and need to focus on your job, then they don't have a choice - so yes they are "expected to". I also don't think it's great that a child of this age is spending every day of school holidays at home by themselves.

I’d say this is your last tricky summer @Whatsyourcakevice, my DC found the ability to entertain themselves around age 9 which was handy as that was when they became a club/childcare refuser! We’ve got 9 weeks to cover here(!) but one of us is able to WFH every day, we’ve got some time off, can have friends here while we work so they entertain each other and my DM is only across the way. There will, I’m sure, also be a fair amount of screen time…

I would say from Y5, I could just mostly leave them to their own devices, literally plopped in front of the tv with snacks.

That said, generally it’s never been too tricky. Our holiday club is open 3 days a week. We’d book into that 2-3 days a week and then Dh and I would each take 1-2 days off each week. One week usually of an actual holiday as well. So Dh would be off Monday, holiday club T-Th, and I’d be off Friday. It made for a nice break for all of us.

I’ve never run out of AL and I’ve never needed parental leave doing it this way. Holiday club only £25 a day so even with 2, which I maybe only needed for a year or two as we have a 5 year age gap, that’s £50 a day, which is well under what Dh and I make working a full day.

yes we’re not at the stage inviting a friend round guarantees me quiet time . And it’s rarely reciprocated so I’m loath to do it too much (I’ve invited the others who do reciprocate but that’s only 2/3 kids)

I feel like this is the first summer that is easier for my eldest who is 11 and a half. We’ve booked him into one week of tennis camp in the mornings but that’s it so far, he feels too old for the football camp and some other ones he used to go to. Luckily we have a wonderful youth club who so fun days out if we need a few more days cover. Otherwise I work from home (but in a very focused job so can’t be disturbed too much) but can spend 20 mins with him at lunch etc. otherwise he’ll spend a lot of time playing football with whichever mate is around.

I have an only child who cannot entertain herself - she's 11, and it has actually got more difficult over time as she no longer wants to go to clubs unless they are dance/ acro clubs (her hobby/ obsession). What she wants to do is hang around with friends all day which is fine but it is still down to us to organise and you can't really pin down other parents in advance (I like to be organised so I can sort out when I need to be off work etc). She will sit and watch TV all day but is still liable to interrupt asking for snacks etc. I am looking forward to when she can organise her own social life.
At 8 we still booked her into lots of clubs and then probably had 2/3 weeks annual leave between us/ grandparents. So it was about 3 weeks of clubs over the summer.
Now I have nothing booked in other than she is at guides camp for a week and we have our summer holiday. I actually think I might have to use parental leave for the first time ever. She is autistic though which probably makes a difference.