Ideas for what to get for DD, 9, when the new baby is born?

[SarahAndQuack]

I have a big age gap coming up - DD is 9 and I'm due in a couple of weeks. There's loads of advice on nice ways to help toddler older siblings feel loved when a new baby is born, but I'd really like to do something for DD to mark the transition. It could be a symbolic item, or something to occupy/absorb her, or whatever you think - I just want her to feel recognised and loved, and perhaps distracted from the fact that (inevitably) I will be taken up with her baby brother and things will feel different.

She is a lovely girl; she's not particularly 'girly' in some ways and she's just had a birthday where we did pamper packs for a sleepover, so she probably wouldn't want more of the same unless it were very clever/appealing. I don't think she'd especially thank me for symbolic jewellery or anything like that.

Any bright ideas? Thanks in advance!

I'd go with something she can entertain herself with solo, as she is going to suddenly be getting a lot less attention. If she has an exciting new hobby to throw herself into it might help distract her.

What sort of activities does she like doing? If she is arty then maybe some sort of kit where she can make something. If she is into games then maybe an exciting new game. Lego? A Kindle full of new books?

Go for lots of craft kits / paint a pot / clay / jewel / diamond art etc. That way she will be entertained and you can sit at the side of her. Win win for both.

Galt (sparkle Jewellery set) do some very reasonable priced ones - this was one of my daughter’s favourite and someone to keep (even put a finger print of both your children in it) . Or friendship bands / charms etc.

I did always get my children a new teddy from the baby and I don’t know why but an outfit / t shirt too from the baby 🤣

Thank you! Yes, that sounds good.

She is arty - have you thoughts for a kit? She's done things like calligraphy, origami, paper marbling and so on.

She has a ton of lego (partly courtesy of her cousins!) and I don't want to get her a kindle. I know they can be great but my ex-partner bought her a phone recently, and I'd sooner she didn't have more screens. She does have lots of physical books - and I'd certainly buy her a specific book if recommended - but she isn't yet at the stage where her reading is strong enough for it to feel like a pleasure. She is reading at an age-appropriate level but she finds it a chore, and she often prefers me to read aloud to her.

I'll check out Galt, though I think she has gone through a lot of jewellery craft kits (it's her age; she's that bit older than a lot of children when they have a new sibling).

I love the idea of a teddy from the baby! That's a nice thought.

Thank you!

I quite liked cross stitch at that age - I was very anti girly myself and liked the idea of making art by constantly stabbing something.

You can get pre-printed kits that have a dye on the canvas and you stitch over it like paint by numbers rather than trying to count out from those little guide graphs. I'm working on a giant (A3 sized) multi coloured cat one now.

Don't get one that's too big that it feels unfinished as a first project - it can take an hour per square inch so you want something the size of an out stretched hand at maximum. I've been working on my cat for over a year and I'm barely at the half way point. There are some nice book mark kits on Amazon.

Latch hook is another good one, getting to make her own cushion. Diamond art is also very satisfying although very fiddly.

How about getting her to make something for her new brother, a teddy bear kit or something?

As suggested I would do a big box of crafts , I did this for my sons 8th birthday and it went down very well!
airdry clay , the nice colouring books and alcohol markers that were popular last year , paint by numbers , sticker by number books .

Another option could be a scooter if she doesn’t currently have one so she can join you on pushchair walks .

If she already has a phone, but reading for pleasure isn’t a hobby, what about a subscription to audible along with some good headphones? She can enjoy listening to an audiobook when you might not have as much time to read aloud to her, and the headphones will also be good for her to muffle the sound of the baby crying!

sounds like she could benefit from audio books, maybe an audible subscription. and introduction to lots of stories, because if reading feels like a chore it’s because she hasn’t discovered stories that capture her imagination.

Tree house books at that age both my girls and boys liked them at 9 as they aren’t very heavy reading some pictures in too :-)

I got my eldest a Pokémon teddy that he really wanted “from the baby” and he loved it. He was 6.5, so I appreciate there is a difference there. In hindsight I wish I’d bought a few more toys and activities to keep him occupied during the newborn phase. Maybe a little hamper of gifts/activities would be nice?

We sent a lot of time discussing how best to approach the dynamics of another baby. I think we realised the language we used was important, so when discussing the baby with him I always said things like “we” (as in me and DS) so that he felt included and a part of everything, if that makes sense.

If she's arty/crafty, could you get her involved in making a book of the baby's milestones, like one of those first year type books. You could get her a Polaroid camera or similar, a nice scrapbook/journal (or two so she has one for herself as well?), fancy scissors, glue, scrapbooking materials etc. That way it's something to keep her occupied, but also gives her a vital role to make her feel included with the new baby.

If you want to buy a teddy, why not buy her one from Build a bear with an outfit, they probably do T shirts with things like Big sister on them.