Worried my newborn’s head wobbled too much in pram on cobbles

[DoNotLoseHope]

I took my baby out today (8 week old) and I have to go through cobbled pathways to get off my street. I used the bassinet attachment and I am so worried about my baby as the head was wobbling around so much. I am now worried I hurt her brain when I know that’s highly unlikely to cause any damage or shaken head syndrome but I am still so scared. First time mum here after a previous second trimester loss and infertility everything I do I second guess it as I just want to do right by my baby and make no mistakes :(

Your baby is fine. You sound like a great mum but don’t overthink it. They are robust and survive in war torn countries. Try to take it easy xx

The forces involved in shaken baby syndrome are quite significant. Your baby will be fine going over the cobbles but it is natural to worry about them.

First reply nails it. You and your baby will be fine. Think of all the babies who've been carried over those cobbles over the years, and they've all taken it in their stride.

Shaken baby is caused by vigorous back and forth shaking (imagine the head/neck snapping forward and back) not side to side jiggling.

Generations of children survived being rattled over cobbles, so I really wouldn’t worry.

shaken baby is where the head sort of disconnects from the spinal cord. If it helps, the effect is immediate - the baby dies or at least arrests immediately, on the spot. If you'd caused anything remotely like that you would have known immediately as your child would have become unconscious.

As a side point, anxiety to this level is not normal new mum jitters. I was the same by the way! It took a long time for me to fully relax around my child and it was only years later that I realized this level of hyper vigilance was really just a form of postnatal depression. I wish I'd got help at the time as it really was no fun and meant I couldn't relax and enjoy the baby stage.

As others have said. Plus baby wasn’t exactly laying still in utero remember! They get jiggled around with every step, bump, toss and turn, and then some super women even run during their pregnancies, so your baby is absolutely fine. I have my baby’s Rockit up full pelt too. He’s now 9 months and absolutely no damage done.

ETA: and as PP said, this level of anxiety is very common but it does sound like you need some support. I suffered PNA with my first and I don’t think I fully acknowledged how much precious time it stole from me in those early days with my daughter that I’ll never get back. I didn’t think I was depressed at the time, but now in hindsight and having had a second where I’m finding it so much easier I see that I was in a permanent state of fight or flight and didn’t realise.

Don't worry, a baby in a sling gets way more wobbles when the parent is walking.

First of all, congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!

Secondly... I promise you 100% you have done her zero harm. Babies aren't affected by a bumpy pram ride over some cobbles. If babies were as fragile as that, human beings would be extinct as a species by now. Your daughter is definitely absolutely fine - and one day, when she's a teenager, you'll tell her about this and you'll both laugh.

I had never been more interested in the state of the roads and pavements until I was pushing my first born round town and watching him bounce over every crack, bump and cobblestone. He is 4yo now and absolutely fine.

Of course we need to look after babies as in the grand scheme of things they are pretty weak and helpless, but, they are honestly more robust than most people think they are too.

Also (trigger warning this is grim) I saw a video demonstration with a dummy baby once showing the force needed for shaken baby syndrome. It's absolutely horrifying, far more violent and extreme than any gentle bumping over cobbles. I don't recommend watching it as it was awful, but it did put my mind at ease when I was worrying over the bouncing of the pram on our daily walks.

I remember googling this when my LO was born, and getting the exact same answers. For what it's worth they're a thriving 4 year old and don't remember the cobblestones!

If you live in a rocky / cobblestone-ey area a pram with extra suspension like an out n about is much nicer to push FYI.

@DoNotLoseHopeIt’s totally normal - if exhausting - to have these thoughts.

Something that helped me was to think whether or not I’d heard anything in the media about - eg babies and cobblestones, or “baby ate some cat fur” - in my case! There would be well-publicised warnings if cobbles were dangerous to babies.

Thank you so much everyone for the reassurance I feel relieved, I don’t have a village so mumsnet is my village. Appreciate all the replies they have put my mind at ease. Making me wonder perhaps being hyper vigilant and over analysing everything maybe more than a new mum thing. I have suffered from anxiety during pregnancy with her being my rainbow and now I find being over protective. I was thinking maybe it’s sleep deprivation making me like this but now I think I should perhaps mention it to a health visitor and see what helps available

I used to purposefully push my babies over cobbles as it rocked them to sleep!!! They’re 11 and 15 and definitely 100 percent fine

Your baby will be fine. The fact that you’re thinking about these things shows you’re doing a great job however you don’t want to be worrying all the time.

Bring it up with your midwife/doctor/health visitor as they have seen it all before and will know which direction to best point you in.

Make sure you look up local baby support groups in your area. Mine has a few weekly ones where you can go for breastfeeding advice, to weigh the baby and chat to healthcare professionals and other new parents.

It's absolutely fine.

I think we worry about accidentally causing shaken baby syndrome because we cannot fathom someone actually doing the level of force required to cause it deliberately. Humans have a tendency to give people the benefit of doubt it's why when women say they were abused or raped we think "what if she's making it up" "I know him, I never noticed anything, he couldn't be like that." So you imagine a man rocking his screaming baby and desperately being a bit too vigorous or briefly holding them by the shoulders and shaking them like you would your friend to say "pull yourself together". No. Babies are harmed by violent, deliberate, sustained assaults. Not by being laid in their padded bassinet, pushed slowly over uneven flooring by their doting mother.

You are highly unlikely to accidentally harm your child.