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Parenting

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Really struggling to keep my shit together with massively clingy 8yr old

3 replies

SlB09 · 01/06/2026 21:32

Just looking for advice/solidarity really. My 8yr old DS has always been a mummies boy and clingy to some extent but went to school and started to naturally want to be with friends more etc. the last 6months have been getting worse with being incredibly clingy and the last few weeks he hasn't even wanted to be in a different room or where he can't see my or my DH. He won't go to the toilet by himself, he doesn't attempt to make his own/get his own snacks or a drink, he shouts us to do everything for him - e.g pass him his drink when he's on the sofa and it's literally on the sofa arm. He asks a question then doesn't listen to the answer and then asks again, he'll ask if he's allowed to do something and you say yes, then he'll say...so can I?..yes......so I can?......yes.......and it goes on. He seems to have more and more anxious generally and I'm thinking that all of the above is driven by anxiety. Everything is fine at school (other than not liking it when he's away from the teachers, grown up = safety for him/his brain), home is fine, my and my DH have had relationship issues over the past 18m but they are certainly a lot better and it doesn't seem to coincide with the same timeline of ds getting worse. I have had health issues the past 2years which I know he has worried about however these are much better/more controlled. He just says he doesn't like to be alone, he doesn't like how he feels and so basically is trying to avoid it at all costs. We have to stay with him until he's asleep however this has been since he was a baby so probably more routine than anything.

I'm reaching the point where my sympathy is dwindling and I'm starting to get bad tempered and impatient, I'm just so fed up/over stimulated/overwhelmed with the constant needing of me or my husband. It is like having a toddler. I think he's really innatentive aswell, husband thinks he's 'just a boy'. Now every little scratch or scrape is major, every minor pain he has is the worst ever. He's gone from a care free outgoing friendly lovely boy to anxiety riddled cling monster!!! We literally don't get a break. Have mum & sister but honestly they don't help much really or offer to.

anyone similar experience? How did you cope? What did you doi hate myself for getting shouty and impatient but also up to my eyeballs with it and don't know how to guide him through this without a. Feeding the anxiety or b. Being cruel and not meeting his needs through it.

Thanks for reading xxxx

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MaraScottie · 01/06/2026 21:36

It sounds like your son might need help. Have you spoken to your GP about him? This doesn't sound healthy or normal for an 8 year old and he will probably benefit from some sort of intervention and support.

SlB09 · 02/06/2026 00:46

No, havnt spoken to gp about it yet. I guess we hoped he would grow out of it. I also feel like my husband is in denial that anything is actually wrong and it's not just a phase. Thank you for your comment though.

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