It’s 1am - Sleepover child won’t go to sleep

[Bossbear]

my 8yo is having two family friends kids over for a sleepover (both also 8). They’ve both slept over several times before with no issues.

but this time, one of them is STILL awake and sad / stressed that she can’t sleep. The other two were asleep 2 hours ago!

she says she wants her mum but isn’t sobbing for her, though we’ve had a few frustrated tears.

She also gets distressed if I leave the room so I’m just lying on the floor at this point.

I’ve kept the lights low, am encouraging her to read and not engaging with chat etc.

what should I do?? Should I ring her parents?? They are good friends of ours. I’d feel guilty about waking them up but what if she really can’t sleep???

Praying we all get some sleep soon!

Maybe send a message if she wants you to in case they check? Are they close by? I had this once and the mum was round like a shot to collect. I'd have hated to leave it to the next day and feel like I'd kept her against her will. Maybe say in the message you will try to settle her but sending just in case they see and did want to come and collect...?

Just ask her if she would rather go home and then ring the parents .

Message the parents :) don’t leave her distressed.

I agree with this. I wouldn’t call but I would send a message to let them know what’s happening.

Ok thanks

I’m not sure either of them will see a message as they will be asleep

Feeling like a failure of a sleepover host here

I was this way when I was that age and so was one of my daughters. My dad always came after me and my dh always picked up our daughter (sometimes an hour away :)! Dd grew out of it but I never did!!!

If they don't see it, they don't see it but at least you've sent it. They may surprise you and be awake or check during the night. you could try calling if you feel that's more appropriate but I think that would cause more panic personally. You're definitely not a failure. You are taking care of her best interests which is all any parent should ask.

This happens so often at that age. Yes text the parents and let her know you have. She will probably fall asleep with that knowledge, Sod’s Law!

Not your fault. Some kids are just not ready. Phone call just fine. Maybe the dc just needs to hear mom’s voice?

I’ve messaged. She seems a bit comforted by that, at least

If she's stayed over without problems before I think it's even more reason to take her concerns seriously this time. She may feel poorly or not quite right and just want her own parents and home. You're being a great host staying close and taking extra care of her!

Can you put some white noise sounds on?

We have some on already, thanks though

Thanks wise mumsnetters for your advice

Tell her morning will be here very soon and her mum will see the text and come and take her home. Let yourself fall asleep on the floor and she may follow. Say… I’m
right here but I’m closing my eyes now and going to sleep

I am so far from a helicopter parent it's not funny but I would be grateful for a call in that situation. Assuming you aren't hours away, I would get there soon as and then home, child in bed and left to sleep late in the morning. Hopefully they fall asleep though.

have you made her a warm milky drink? tell her it will make her very sleepy. that has worked for me in the past.

It is far too late now, but I hope you have had some sleep. This has happened to me in the past....I drove the child home.
I don't think it is fair on you to be responsible for a child that is awake/unhappy in the middle of the night. Perhaps they are just not ready for sleepovers!

Awww, sweet and kind of you OP to sleep on the floor near her. Also good you messaged parents. Hope it all worked out.
Even though she's slept over before, kids go through phases with various fears and anxieties, maybe something happened, etc. You sound kind and caring.

How did you get on OP?

When mine go on sleep overs i always say to the hosts call me anytime and i'll collect. I hate the idea of a DC of mine all distressed !

If they know you'll come for them it's a comfort and they tend not to need you to actually do it.

Did it once for DD4 a couple of years ago. Sleep over at a friend's with 2 others. They'd all freaked each other out about the (creepy looking) elf on the shelf !! 🤣

Thanks all for your responses. I asked her if she wanted me to call mum, and she did, so at 1.45am I walked her home, she only lives around the corner. Was definitely for the best.