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Parenting

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Feeling guilty for wishing away a difficult baby stage

6 replies

ftmtrying · 31/05/2026 23:17

My baby is 9 months, almost 10 months old and she is the most beautiful, adorable, sweet girl. She lights up when she sees me, she has a gorgeous smile and is so clever, I couldn’t love her more if I tried. However, I’m exhausted in every possible way and sometimes find myself wishing the baby stage away. I feel so much guilt because it’s such a precious time and everyone tells me it goes so quickly and to hold on to it, but she refuses to sleep unless on me, she refuses bottles and cups so I have to be at the ready to breastfeed, she throws most of her solids on the floor. For the first time last week I left the house without her, I managed two hours before i got a call she was so upset she was hyperventilating and refusing a bottle. I know people will suggest sleep training, but CIO is not something I’m comfortable with and pick up put down always ends with her in an absolute state. We’ve tried lots of gentle methods. My partner is trying everything he possibly can, but she’s so dependent on me that it’s killing me, she’s also teething right now and learning to crawl, i feel so horrible for wanting to skip to a part where she’s not breastfeeding and can go two hours without me. I guess this is just a rant and I’m looking for support and hope

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ALotofThingsBeataJet2HolidayActually · 31/05/2026 23:21

No, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's totally understandable, having a needy baby is very hard.

It doesn't feel like it goes quickly, but it does pass. When you get to the toddler stage you'll be wishing that away too 😄

Floppyearedlab · 31/05/2026 23:22

If you are in the vicinity, she will automatically reach for you I’m afraid
You need to hand feeds and bedtime over to your partner and go out.
It may take time and discomfort but you will get there
Sleep training doesn’t have to be brutal. Yes it will involve some crying but in the long term everyone will get more rest.

and YANU. The baby phase is just one phase of parenting, no more or less ‘precious’ than any other.
I think my primary age child is just as precious as when he was the age your child is. I also know which stage I prefer.

AmazedinSpaces · 31/05/2026 23:24

Oh don't let others catch you up in the 'cherish every moment' nonsense! I firmly believe we are genetically hardwired to look back with rose tinted spectacles, or we'd all be one and done. Having a baby is beautiful but it's also exhausting and incredibly boring. You will look back and feel it went so quickly and it was so precious, but for now, you are completely normal in wishing for a night's sleep and 3 hours to yourself with no one pawing at your boobs and twiddling your other nipple. About that age one of mine got the remarkably annoying habit of trying to stick his finger up my nose whilst he was breastfeeding. I don't miss that.

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OrdinaryGirl · 31/05/2026 23:31

One of the most damaging things I have found in 12 years of being a parent is the constant feeling that I should be enjoying it more. It’s really hard. Cut yourself some freaking slack. 💐

CheshireSplat · 31/05/2026 23:34

OP, don't feel guilty. This is only one stage of parenting, there will be so many more and it sounds like you have it particularly tough.

I've just had a weekend in London with DD1 (who was a "high needs" baby). She's 14 and we've had the most marvellous time. You don't have to enjoy every second of the early years. There will be many moments to cherish.

PlaygroundAllDay43321 · 01/06/2026 15:43

There isn't enough money in the world for me to re-live months 9-12 of my son's life. Fuck that. They're needy as hell, sleep less, sleep like shit, teething, very difficult to entertain, too small to entertain themselves, weaning is a bitch etc. Nope. Never wanna do that again. Wish it away. Get through it however way you can.

Happy to report it's all up from 12 months onwards.

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