Breastfeeding - how to stop??

[whyyy321]

Looking for some advice- health visitors have reassured but I haven't really had any advice as such from them.

Baby is just 8 months and I'm due back at work at 10 months. She is combi fed since about 6 weeks, and has always been fine with bottles.

I'm desperate to stop feeding before I go back to work. Problem is, since starting weaning she's not really wanting bottles despite me dropping breastfeeds. She's having 3 good meals a day plus water, and has five bf in 24 hours (bedtime, 2 overnight, breakfast and midmorning)- I'm just this weekend trying to drop the midmorning feed. However on a good day I can only get about 180-200ml formula in to her which is usually mid-afternoon.

I know milk is meant to still be the main food source but I'm scared to keep dropping feeds incase she doesn't pick up more formula? She's not really refusing the bottle just having a few sips and losing interest. I'm so desperate to stop feeding before August!

Any tips? Will she just take the formula if I withhold bf? How much formula do I need her to have??

Have you tried expressing your milk and feeding it to her in a bottle? To get her used to only using the bottle, and then gradually transitioning to formula - can you mix the 2 (I don't know if that's OK or not..)

If you're interested, I breastfed 4 and I weaned them like this: I breastfed on demand until around 1 year, then only in the morning and at bedtime (because by that time they were eating plenty of solids) then only at bedtime, and then stopped completely around 16 months). You could still do something like that, just starting a bit sooner? Cos you can still do a bedtime feed even once you go back to work...?

Are you desperate to stop breastfeeding because you don't want to do it anymore? Or just logistics with work?

Because at 10 months she'll be fine with a morning feed before work, feed after work and a bedtime feed, plus whatever they can get her to take at her childcare.

Hiya, it was a long time ago now (my daughter is now 11) but I was still breastfeeding when I went back to work when she was around 7 months (and also with my son - now 14 - when I returned to work when he was around 10 months). They both carried on breast feeding into late toddler hood and basically they and my body adjusted to take on more breast milk in evenings / at night, and they were not distressed without breast milk in the day at all. My son ate more food then, and my daughter who has refused a bottle entirely had 1 or 2 expressed milk bottles in the day. Basically unless you actively want to stop breastfeeding I wouldn’t stress about weening before you return to work. It’s perfectly possible to combine breastfeeding and working, and also do this without expressing at all (I know that’s a pain).

So at the risk of sounding like an awful mum (which is what I keep telling myself urgh), I want to stop because I want to be able to a) focus on my job and not be the one who has to always miss work when the inevitable bugs hit from nursery (she's not my first baby, not my first rodeo!) and I want to be able to share night feeds with my husband once I'm working again. I also want to be able to have a bit more evening freedom. I have never given her expressed milk, I have pumped but only for relief when occasionally away from her - this is mostly as I primarily expressed for my eldest and I hold some trauma from that period of my life (not due to the expressing,but due to bad pnd, traumatic birth and traumatic feeding journey).

I want to formula feed but I'm scared she'll just stop taking milk! She's having a bottle now,we've tried about 4 times today and finally she's having it.

180 ml of foula is actually really good for a BF baby.

Don’t let the amount she’s having put you off. By the time you go back to work at 10 months, if she’s fully FF she’ll only need 400 ml of formula a day anyway.

BF babies usually take around 700 ml in 24 hours so generally only take around 30 ml to 85 ml if you give them formula so what she’s having seems fine me

Just pick which feed you want to swap and then go for it. Once you’ve dropped that one I would give it a couple of weeks to reduce your risk of mastitis and give her a chance to adjust, then drop another. Do this until you’ve dropped them all.

At 10 months, she doesn't need milk in the day. You don't need to express. Just breastfeed morning and evening and at night. And if she doesn't take much formula still, it's fine.

If you really want to stop, just stop altogether now. They get smarter and she will know the boob is an option. Take the option away entirely.

Be careful as there is a huge hormone drop when you stop and many women get really depressed/teary for a week or more. So don't stop right before going back to work, do it now so as not to make your life extra hard.

I went back to work at 6 months full time and I am glad I persevered as I found BF to be the most efficient tool to get them back to sleep and nurse them through illnesses. A friend who had a baby the same time as me and weaned at 8/9 months, was stuck with split nights and 5am wake ups after she weaned. Nothing worked and she really regretted it. You've done the hard part, BF morning and evening is really the easy bit. And when they're inevitably awake at 5am, a boob puts them back to sleep. Your choice entirely, you've done well to get here, but something to consider.

Re milk being the main food source, our paedetrician explained that yes, at 6 months that is correct. But at 12 months all or the vast majority of calories should be from food and that change doesn't happen overnight. The whole "food is for fun until 1" really pissed her off as well, she told us it's untrue and outdated advice. By 10 months you really don't need to worry about her milk intake that much.

I dropped bfeeding at 6/7 months with my DS2. I chose one feed (mid morning for us) and stopped offering bf then with formula instead. He eventually got the idea. Then dropped one feed off every few days with bed time and overnight as the last ones. I did have a very hungry baby though who gobbled down milk of any kind!

*formula.

Sorty about the typos

Have you tried cups? Mine went to nursery at 10 months and didn’t have any milk whilst there (they offered formula in a cup). She just BF when with me. With the night feeds, if you’re going to stop BF I’d also just stop any night feeds. It’s too old to be getting her onto a bottle at night, given it’s advised to stop at 12 months and bottles arent great dentally. Ive cut down gradually to only a bedtime feed, shes now 19 months. And ive been back at work full time for 6 months and had plenty of nights out!

Thanks all, great advice and reassurance so far. For clarity,she's currently 8 months but I'm going back to work in August when she's 10 months.

I'm hoping to drop the breakfast feed,then bedtime then night ones -interesting idea to just get rid of feed overnight at that point, is 10months too young for that? Would love to not do night bottles.

Yeah hormone drop is part of my fear too, the bf has warded off the ppd this time I think so I am a bit worried about that!

So if 400ml formula a day at 10m, what should she have at 8/9m? And should I offer smaller bottles? Been offering 220ml as that's on the back of the packet?

Sorry for typos, solo parenting this eve!

Maybe I am out of touch, but is two night feeds normal at this age? That will be tough when back at work

We stopped night feeds at about 7 months. I would recommend stopping them in advance of returning to work.

I carried on breastfeeding morning and bedtime for some time after returning to work but they just had solids and water in between

Ooh ok, I have no idea if 2 wakes is good or bad- my eldest was such an awful sleeper (woke every hour until 10m when I admit I sleep trained before ppd totally consumed me) that it seems quite good to me!

Yeah pretty standard for a breastfed baby especially.

I went back to work full time when my baby was 6 months, teething, and waking every 2 hours because of it. It's tough but you cope.

At the moment you’re Combi feeding so you don’t have to worry about how much formula she has. She’ll just take more from the feeds that you give her if she’s hungry. You definitely don’t have to worry about getting a full 220 ml into her on each FF. like I said earlier, I wouldn’t expect her to take more than 85 ml, and that’s only if she’s not had a feed or food for 3 hours.

If you want some reassurance though, why not contact one of the BFing Support Charities? They will be able to go over the amounts with you and help you come up with a plan to phase out BFing

And I also think 2 night wakings at 8 months is pretty good

In your situation, just cut out the breastfeeds (gradually for your boobs sake, drop one a week perhaps?). I'd personally keep the overnight feeds as breastfeeds as night bottles are so annoying especially if used to BF, then fully night wean at 12/13mo (or later if 1-2 feeds overnight still feels ok for you, or before if baby loses interest or suddenly starts feeding more overnight aka is holding out for it). I wouldn't worry about formula consumption at all, they will drink it if they're hungry and it will likely briefly increase before dropping down again as she gets closer to 1yo.

If it helps, my 7mo is combi-fed and we only offer 90ml bottles now she's eating more food. It's working much better than bigger bottles.