Anyone finding it harder to get time to themselves with older children than younger ones?!

[Whatsyourcakevice]

Anyone else found it harder to carve time out for themselves with an 8 year old than with a baby or toddler?!

Is this normal?!

I think it’s the homework (DC needs a lot of support) and extracurricular.

I’m reluctant to give up the extracurricular as DC loves it and has benefited so much.

I have 2, one turning 3 and the other nearly 1. I don't remember the last time I was able to bath or use the toilet on my own so I can't imagine how it's possible to have less free time when they start school 🤣🫩 plus we're up at least 2 or 3 times a night despite co sleeping...

Wait til they’re 13! I don’t even get home from sports practice til 9:15 3 nights a week now. Dh and I absolutely do get more time to ourselves, individually, but we don’t get to sit and have a meal together without the dc anymore or watch a film, because it would require staying up past 10pm and I am not someone who wants to stay up past 10pm.

I found this when my two were teens-GCSEs and A-levels and keeping people calm!

It's tricky for sure.
When my little girl was a newborn I also had an 11 yo and a 13 yo...in the height of Covid! Home learning was...erm...interesting!!! 😆

The older the children get the less time DH and I get together ☹️

Yes!! Life seems a lot busier

I think it’s modern parenting. 30 years ago your kids would all be playing out and occupying themselves a lot more.

Yes life gets busier plus dc no longer going to bed at 7ish. Now it’s 10pm (a teen) so don’t get to unwind properly at night and I usually go to bed the same time as them. They also train 6 times a week and attend competitions at weekends so we’re always on the go. Now it’s exam time so the stress of supporting them to study, dealing with their emotions takes time.
on the other hand I don’t need to dress them, wash them or generally supervise so that’s easier.

We have 6 children. Our eldest 2 are 12 and 9. I find that I naturally spend more time with the younger ones as they need me more for everything whereas my older ones are more independent, out at school all day, spend time with friends more etc. The younger ones all go to bed earlier so we often have a movie night with older ones, or last night we sat up and spent time building a big Lego set. My husband is taking our older 3 to the cinema tonight and for dinner whereas I’m out at softplay with the littles this morning etc.

I agree with a previous poster, in times before kids would have been playing out on the streets. When they are older the ducks at the park don’t entertain them as much. I think we have made it hard for ourselves with modern parenting

My dcs have always tended to go to bed late since toddlerhood tbh, so we've never viewed evening time as "adult time" as the dcs were still up with us anyway. So it's not been such a difficult adjustment and we're used to their company into the evening. I always got time to myself in the early hours (I have never needed to go to bed at 10pm, my usual bedtime is 1am) or on my non-working days.

My 8yo does music and sports practice until fairly late and I'm really pleased she has that opportunity. I think unstructured play has its place but there are huge benefits to sports and the arts too, and I'm happy to support her with that.