Please share your before/after nursery daily routine, how do you fit it all in?!

[Woweeeeee]

As the title really. DS starts nursery next week four days/week and I really am struggling with how everything gets done to a good standard and also we all get any sleep.

Nursery hours are 8:30-5pm with wraparound 7:30am-6pm. As yet, we aren’t doing that as I am easing back into work gradually. We both commute to London on opposite days. The wfh parent will most likely have to drop off and pick up as our commutes are 1h30.

It seems to take me an hour and a half to get baby up, boob, breakfast, dressed, suncreamed and out of the door so that’s a 6:30am wake up for baby without even a shower for me.

In the evenings, we will collect at 5pm so home by 5:30pm. Then I have to cook dinner, do you eat together as a family? If so, HOW?! Currently I start cooking baby’s dinner at about 5:30pm to eat by 6pm but the other half of us wouldn’t be back form the office by then so I then cook our dinner whilst DH does bath and bed at the moment (quick interlude for bedtime boob from me). Baby is asleep by about 7:30pm usually. I really want to make the most of this 1.5 hours we have with him at either end of the day because it’s literally all we get. I do not want to be doing chores around him whilst he plays like we do right now.

As I’m on maternity leave I do all laundry, nappy bag packing, washing up, kitchen wipe down, food shop, meal prepping, pets and daily chores basically. We have a weekly cleaner who changes the beds and does the ironing. DH does bills, gardening, all DIY, the bins, the constant merry go round of stuff up and down to the attic etc. It’s not 50/50 but he is not lazing around, and he works longer hours and is in London more.

Could people with a similar set up please share any daily routines, efficiency, tips, hacks, anything that helps you get through the day and not fall into bed at midnight. I don’t know if I’m missing things which could help but we both already feel like we’re drowning and I’m not even back at work yet. If you’re a magic house witch who breezes through life without any of this stress please don’t rub it in, I don’t need to feel worse.

Sorry but that all sounds very inefficient. You don't cook twice a day, that's madness.

We batch cook a lot and freeze individual portions for DS. You could start doing that now so you have small portions of bolognese, curry, stews etc, and all you have to do is boil pasta/potatoes. If you cook something at 5.30, make it something that can be served later for you and DH too.

Also, anything I cook today, is also served tomorrow. I don't do stir fries or whatever except for the weekend.

Morning wise, yes it's about an hour from wake up time to leaving the house (but I only have to leave at 8.30):

• I shower before DS wakes up
• I also still BF DS (he's 2) when he wakes and then I change him into day clothes there on the bed so I don't have to chase him around afterwards
• I have a basket of toys in the bathroom for him to play while I do my makeup and get dressed
• I give him his weetabix
• coats and shoes on (this takes a few minutes as I have to put shoes and coat on his favourite teddy too 😂) and out the door

My bag is already packed the evening before.

If you're dropping off at 7.30/8am, surely nursery gives breakfast? That will save like 20 minutes. I drop off between 8.30-9 as we live in zone 2 so I don't have a long commute.

There's no point thinking everyone else's morning is stress fee and smooth, everyone is stressed 😂

Also, all that stuff becomes easier as they get older. By 16 months my son could easily play quietly for 15 minutes with Legos while I had a quiet coffee in the morning. I think 12 months is still quite demanding. You might want to shower and do make up/clothes before DS wakes up.

The first obvious thing is that if you can’t get showered and dressed once the baby is awake, you probably need to get up before the baby does. For example, we get up at 5am for the gym, extra work, etc.
Also, what’s the other parent doing between 6:30 and 7:30 if they haven’t left yet? They could be helping while the other gets ready?

I think you also need to try to speed things up a bit — 1.5 hours to do a few morning tasks is quite a long time. Likewise, if the entire time your husband is putting the baby down is spent cooking dinner, that’s a big chunk of time gone. Could you all eat the same thing and simplify meals a bit?

What works for us is that while one person puts the child down, the other does cleaning, laundry, dishwasher, prep for the next day, etc.

The biggest thing for smoother mornings is prepping the night before:

• Adult work bag and outfit ready
• Child’s nursery bag and outfit ready
• Basically anything you can prep in advance, do it

Usually by around 8pm we can finally sit down, watch something, or catch up on personal admin, then bed around 9:30. It sounds boring, but it’s just the phase of life we’re in, and it makes mornings much smoother.

It also took us at least 6 months to figure out a routine that worked, so don’t be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t click straight away.

What meals is he having at nursery op?

Morning; why on earth does it take 90 mins to get them ready? Will they not give them breakfast at nursery?

I put clothes out the night before, they eat at nursery. It takes me about ten minutes to get them dressed, teeth brushed etc

Evening meal; generally not achievable by a sensible time with a young child. We do a lot of ‘snack plates’ when they get home; crudite, cheese, that sort of thing. OR the wfh parent makes something in their lunch break so it’s ready to be eaten at 5.30 on the dot.

Sorry, I should probably clarify a few things and thank you for all the advice so far!

Re breakfast at nursery, yes if we drop off at 7:30am (but not at 8am, separately paid for sessions) breakfast is included but this is an additional cost. It’s also not especially healthy, for example cereals (he’s never had this), white bread toast and jam etc. At home, he gets porridge with veggies or I make a batch of banana pancakes with berries and yoghurt or something so about every third morning I’m actually cooking, the rest are just assembly.

DS is starting at 10 months and is still such a messy eater. He won’t be spoon fed and can’t really use it himself so everything just goes everywhere. So clean up takes forever before I can get him dressed. Not sure when this gets better?!

Evening efficiency could be better, I’m not the best multitasker because I’m dyspraxic so get very easily distracted. I probably need a list of jobs like laundry, dishwasher etc. I can do in a flurry whilst I cook.

At nursery he has snack, two course hot lunch, snack, afternoon tea which is substantial like jacket potatoes or pitta and humous or something. I guess he might not be that hungry for a full dinner so maybe he could have banana and yoghurt or something quicker when he comes in?

Noted on the batch cooking and freezing. Curries, spag bol, pasta sauces, any other food suggestions which work well for this?

The commuting parent leaves at 6:30am for the train (they aren’t very regular, we’re quite far out) so not a lot that can be done. I am still getting up in the night to feed baby so the idea of starting the day at 5am doesn’t fill me with enthusiasm but maybe that’s what will have to be done.

At 10m it’s fine to do chores around them. You cant exactly have chat over dinner about what they did at nursery! Why chores do you need to do? If you’re both out all day, and you have a cleaner then there shouldn’t be anything to do in the evening. We had the same set up and did the following:
Get dressed before they wake up, if awake let them play whilst you finish up. Get them dressed as soon as they wake.
One takes them to nursery, other straight to work.
One picks them up, gives them a snack, plays, etc.
One puts them to bed, the other cooks
Baby asleep, have dinner, chat, watch tv, hobbies etc.
Load dishwasher, put a wash on and bed.

Oh, I forgot to mention they always had breakfast at nursery. If you want to do breakfast at home, still dress them and put one of those big coverall bibs over the top.

Spoon feed or give him something that doesn't get messy (muffins), I think what you're doing now is a big waste of time and he probably doesn't take that much in. They do get better at eating as time goes by.

When they go to nursery, well, yes the food may not be as perfectly nutritious as what they get at home. Nothing you can do about it. It will get worse as they get to school and have whatever slop they give them there.

Lasagna, chillis are also good for batch cooking. Lots of stews, I alternate between pork and beef stews.

I spend a maximum of 20-30 minutes to get baby ready. Clotges ready the day before.
Breakfast at nursery - they survieve their food offer - no messing around.

I shower at night. Babies never needed bath every night here.

I never cook twice at night. I always have s freezer stocked up or 'easy options' on hand.

Lower your expectations.

You are lucky you have a cleaner. And yes you can do chores around your child.

Mine used to do nursery 3 days a week 7.15 to 5.30. Up, breastfeed when I was still doing that, dressed and out. Breakfast at nursery. They had tea there about 4 so just did some toast/yoghurt/fruit/crackers/cheese type snacks later on.

Paying extra to get breakfast there was much easier than trying to rush that and still get out on time for work.

I’m incredibly jealous of the ‘quiet coffee’ thing 😂😂 Absolutely no chance with my 20-months old that he’d play by himself in the morning.

The main thing is to lower your expectations tbh. And then build routines that fit your family.

Morning:

• clothes for everyone laid out the night before. Don't get dressed until right before you leave the house, saves stains!
• nursery bag packed the night before
• shower the night before. Heatless rollers if you style your hair, save so much time in the morning.
• if you're commuting, any make up on the train.
• breakfast prepped the night before if you cook a brekkie (egg muffins / slices or veggie muffins for that age). Cereal & a yoghurt if you don't to simplify it. Use an all in one bib or feed them in their pj's and strip them straight off after.

Evening:

• batch cook, takeaway on a Friday if you can afford it. Or easier meals. We do scrambled eggs on toast once a week. Other favorites of the DC are chicken burgers, chicken skewers and butter pasta with corn on the cob, fish fingers and sweet potato chips. Anything that saves time diving, stirring and sauteing.
• evening on, evening off! You still need time to yourself in all of this. Pick an evening that's yours, and one that's your DH. Find a hobby, don't give it up, or your life will fade to bland. Speaking from experience. 😅

I also had a long London commute. Whoever was home got them up and to nursery. Assuming you only have 1 dc, you should be able to do it in less than 1.5 hours if you needed to. We never did any showering in the morning, just up, throw clothes on, pull hair back, brush teeth and done.

If baby is still quite little, you start cooking as soon as you get home at 5:30. Baby eats leftovers from previous night, so no separate meals. Once we were closer to 18 months. I only did one meal and bedtime was shifted back. Got home at 5:30, cooked, dc had snacks, ate actual dinner at 6:30-7pm. If Dh or I not home, we ate when we got home or more often I took my own dinner and ate on the train. Then in the bath about 7 ish, and then whoever was getting home later took over for bedtime about 7:30-8pm. The one not doing bedtime tidied downstairs. We both did 30 minutes to an hour of emails and then in bed for 10pm.

It really wasn’t difficult. I think the trick is bare minimum of housework during the busy days and then you do any bigger jobs at the weekend while you have all hands on deck. And cut out the cooking and eating two dinners as soon as you can. One meal and whatever grown up isn’t home for it shoves food in later or eats their own dinner en route. It then frees up the rest of your evening.

Also not every dinner has to be a proper cooked meal that takes an hour. Store bought tortilla or quiche with bread and salad, quesadillas with crème fraiche and salad, tomato soup and cheese toasties, bagels with cream cheese and salmon, etc all take 10 minutes max to get on the plate.

Lay out clothes for you and baby the night before.
Get up get yourself showered and ready (I would allow 30 mins ish for myself but DH could get away with less).
Then get baby up, they have their milk and get dressed. That shouldn’t take more than about 15 minutes.
Off to nursery and they have their breakfast there. Lose the snobbery about jam on toast because it isn’t that big of a deal and homemade banana pancakes are a stress no working parent needs on a weekday.
Pick up after they’ve had tea and if they want a small snack when they get home give them something simple (I usually went with avocado toast and a banana).
Eat later with DH once they’re in bed. Do simple stuff. Alternate cooking with the bed time routine.
Prioritise the lovingly homemade family meals that you all eat together at weekends to compensate! Family dinners midweek will reappear again when DC is a little older and can manage a slightly later bedtime.

I always dropped off and they had breakfast at nursery, god I miss those days! Now getting 2 of them fed, shouting at them to get dressed and teeth brushed and out for school by 8:15 is a nightmare hah!

they both always had their 'tea' at nursery and then we would eat together as a family but DH and I would have our tea and Ds would have his 'supper' a bowl of porridge or something, so we sat together but it wasn't really his main meal.

Laundry - load in on a morning, whoever WFH takes it out at lunchtime.
Dishwasher - on overnight emptied at breakfast.