Co-sleeping, what time do you go to bed?

[Catlady2202]

Baby is 12 weeks and we co-sleep. Frankly because in the first few weeks he would scream as soon as we put him on his back in the side car crib / bassinet. Now he seems to tolerate being on his back in general (I think less reflux) and we can put him into the crib for maybe 25 mins after he feeds to sleep but then he wakes up and I just put him on me again because admittedly I am prioritising all of our sleep rather than waking up every 25 mins to re-calibrate him.

If you co-sleep do you go to bed earlier with your baby? Currently he has been fitting in with our schedule. Husband doesn’t get home until 7, then we eat, bath bed but this can be 9:30-10:00.

i read babies gradually start sleeping earlier so does that mean I need to be IN bed with baby at 7:30? I guess I will need to eat dinner beforehand and be in bed when my husband gets home? Or is there a way I can be with baby as he falls asleep (he feeds to sleep) and then really edge away? After 6 months of course

I’m hoping he might be in his cot by then at least for a first stretch but in case he’s not I’m just wondering if co-sleepers forfeit their evening and just go to bed early with their baby

Any tips on getting him in the crib greatly appreciated. We’ve tried all the transfer tips… the transfer works and then he wakes himself up with the reflex and panics when he realises he isn’t on me

I have a 6 month old and we co-sleep. They just go to bed when I do, before that they will contact nap on me on the sofa/in the sling whilst I cook/eat dinner etc.
They won’t be like this forever, you can start to implement bedtimes when they’re older (in my opinion)
I did the same with my other dc who is now nearly 3 and they happily sleep in their own bed and go to bed at 6.30pm so I think there is no harm when they’re so little if it means we all get some sleep.

I would go up to bed with baby at about 7.30pm and loved it!

I would read a book, scroll on my phone, watch TV for a bit etc and then settle off to sleep at about 9.30pm.

One of my favourite things about co-sleeping was the excuse to go to up to bed super early.

Congratulations on your new baby and I hope you aren’t finding it too unbearable in this heat.

Yes I thought the same and then wondered if I’m being ‘irresponsible’ for not ‘getting him down’ sooner but actually when we go to bed at 10:00 he won’t wake up fully until 9:30 which is much nicer than waking up at 6:30. He gets his naps in the day so I suppose it’s all ok. It’s just nearly impossible for bed time to be earlier when we need to eat etc

Honestly I wouldn't worry at all about moving bedtime earlier for now, if it works for you! Baby sleep changes so much through the first year, you might find you do need to work towards an earlier bedtime but that baby will go to sleep and be left on their own for a couple of hours. You could work towards them falling asleep next to you rather than being held, that might allow you to then try moving away. And obviously might need to shift bedtime/wake earlier if you're going back to work.
A floor bed really worked for us from 12 months (in her own room), as I got nervous about her falling out of our bed. I gradually joined her later and later in the night and about a month ago she started sleeping through on her own (19 months). So you could skip the cot entirely TBH.

You're doing fine, enjoy him fitting in with you. If he's tired he'll let you know. There's the theory of what's best and there's what real people do to fit everything in to their lives. And if he's sleeping in even better, I seem to remember that you think you've got them into a routine and then they change their sleeping pattern again, I went with the flow. Would seem a shame for your husband not to get to spend some time with the baby in the evening. To have a little family time together is important. You're doing great.

With my first we had her sleeping the Moses basket in the evenings, and just got on with evening, albeit be with slightly dimmed lights. From fourish months we put her in the bedside crib and used a monitor, going up to bed at regular time.

For our second we did the same, but used the monitor from earlier because she struggled asleep with anything thing on, so was already having daytime naps on her own or she'd never sleep. Yes that goes against guidance, but with a noisy toddler around and a very noise sensitive baby (which failed all attempts a desensitization*), we did what we needed.

*When I say sensitive I mean even in toddler years the mere sound of a tap being run downstairs would wake her in her bedroom with a shut door and white noise on 😂.

At 12 weeks, DS slept on me on the sofa then we went to bed at adult bed time, unless he was particularly waily or I was very tired. At 14 months, he goes to bed in his cot at 6.30, then comes into our bed at 10 when we go. We've done that since 6 months. From 4-6 months he slept in his basket in the lounge in the evening

From birth til 3/4 months, I went to bed when they did. Actually, from birth to about 4-9 weeks, Dh wore them in the sling til about midnight/1am and I slept if I wasn’t doing a feed. Some point between 6-9 weeks, they started to go to sleep around 7-8pm and I’d go to sleep with them. Sleep was more important than whatever else I might have been doing. It wasn’t so much because we were cosleeping, it was just because it was my bedtime!

Then sometime between 3-4 months, I would put them to sleep in our bed (actually we had a sidecar cot, so they’d go on there in the evenings). And then I’d come back downstairs. It just sort of naturally happened when I didn’t feel like I needed the extra sleep.

I cosleep with my 7 month old. Since 5 months she’s went down in her cot between 7-8 and her first wake after I’m in bed is when I bring her in. Any wakes before that I resettle in her room/cot. I done the same with my son and he was ready to stay in his cot all night by a year so hopefully the same this time around. I absolutely love co-sleeping but for a season. My nephew is still in my sisters bed every night at 5 and that’s not for me!

Regardless of cot vs co sleeping I don’t think many people do the 7pm bedtime thing until baby is closer to 6 months because of the feeding/nap routine (or lack thereof 🤣) and wanting to follow safe sleep guidelines. So they stay up with you and either contact nap or snooze in the moses basket downstairs but their actual bedtime will be your bedtime, probably at more like 10pm. And yes that way you can eat your dinner and don’t have to go to bed mega early if you don’t want to, but that should apply even for a cot sleeper because it would be contrary to safe sleep guidelines to have them upstairs with a monitor before 6 months old. So in short you’re fine and carry on as you are!